Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding filler words like 'umm' and correcting grammar mistakes. Also, provide a complete thought with specific details about what you learned or experienced in Isfahan to enrich your answer.

例: I went to Isfahan two years ago during a major Persian holiday. It was a beautiful city where I learned a lot about Persian culture and history, which made the trip very memorable.

提案: Avoid rhetorical questions and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and explain why you enjoy holidays with specific reasons.

例: Yes, I really enjoy holidays because they give me time to relax and recharge. I like spending time alone to unwind and refresh my energy.

提案: Clarify your answer by naming the holiday and explaining its significance. Reduce filler words and use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: My favorite public holiday is Nowruz, the Persian New Year, which lasts about 13 to 15 days. During this time, people usually meet with family and enjoy the pleasant weather and fresh air.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Avoid vague phrases like 'something like that' and provide specific activities you do on holidays. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: On holidays, if I don't have to work, I usually hang out and spend time with my friends. However, if I have to work, I mostly stay at home and use my phone to relax.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide specific reasons why you like spending time at home.

例: Yes, I am an introvert, so I enjoy spending my days at home alone. It gives me time to focus on my health and relax.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence flow. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific details about what makes busy holidays enjoyable for you.

例: I prefer busy holidays because I enjoy dressing up in fashionable outfits and dancing with my friends. These activities make the holidays fun and memorable.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve sentence structure. Clearly state your preference and provide specific examples to support your choice, using linking words for coherence.

例: I like both exciting and peaceful holidays, but I prefer peaceful ones. For example, I visited Quiche in the coastal region where I enjoyed the beautiful scenery and fresh air.

× I went to Isfahan, I think it was umm 2 years ago and it was a huge holiday in a Persian culture and we spend spent our holiday in this beautiful city to learn and gain a lot of experience about.

✓ I went to Isfahan, I think it was umm 2 years ago and it was a huge holiday in Persian culture and we spent our holiday in this beautiful city to learn and gain a lot of experience.

The verb 'spend' should be in the past tense 'spent' to match the past time frame of the sentence. Also, 'a Persian culture' is incorrect because 'culture' is uncountable here; it should be 'Persian culture' without 'a'. This correction ensures proper past tense usage and correct article usage.

× Yes. Is there anyone who don't like spend their time in holiday and just kick back? So me too.

✓ Yes. Is there anyone who doesn't like to spend their time on holiday and just kick back? So do I.

The verb 'do' must agree with the singular subject 'anyone', so 'don't' should be 'doesn't'. Also, 'like spend' should be 'like to spend' for correct verb form. 'In holiday' should be 'on holiday' as the correct preposition. 'So me too' is informal and incorrect; 'So do I' is the proper response.

× So me too. I have to say I really like to spend my time with myself. Just have me time and just kicking back because it's recharge my battery.

✓ So do I. I have to say I really like to spend my time by myself. Just have me time and just kick back because it recharges my battery.

'Just kicking back' should be 'just kick back' to maintain parallel verb forms. 'It's recharge' is incorrect; it should be 'it recharges' to agree with the singular subject. 'Spend my time with myself' is awkward; 'by myself' is the correct expression.

× In Persian tradition, we have no rules. It takes 15 or 13, uh, days. And uh, people can spend their time, uh, by just, uh, meeting their family and spend their, their time with them or they just can enjoy the weather and fresh air.

✓ In Persian tradition, we have no fixed rules. It lasts 13 or 15 days. And people can spend their time by just meeting their family and spending their time with them or they can just enjoy the weather and fresh air.

'It takes 15 or 13 days' is awkward; 'It lasts 13 or 15 days' is better. 'Spend their time by just meeting' is correct but 'spend their, their time' is repetitive; 'spending their time' maintains parallel structure. 'They just can enjoy' should be 'they can just enjoy' for natural word order.

× If I didn't want to go for work or important things, I would actually just hanging out and spend my time with my friends and avoid just kicking back and something like that.

✓ If I didn't want to go to work or do important things, I would actually just hang out and spend my time with my friends and avoid just kicking back and things like that.

After 'would', the base form of the verb is required, so 'hanging out' should be 'hang out'. 'Go for work' is incorrect; it should be 'go to work'. 'Avoid just kicking back and something like that' is awkward; 'things like that' is more natural.

× But if I had to work I would spend my time with my just phone.

✓ But if I had to work, I would spend my time just with my phone.

The phrase 'with my just phone' is incorrect; 'just with my phone' is the correct word order. Also, a comma is needed after the introductory clause for clarity.

× Yes, usually I'm a introverted and umm, I would spend my time, but my by myself and just have some me time.

✓ Yes, usually I'm introverted and umm, I would spend my time by myself and just have some me time.

'I'm a introverted' is incorrect because 'introverted' is an adjective, not a noun; the article 'a' should be removed. 'But my by myself' is incorrect; it should be 'by myself' without 'but my'.

× So I have to say yes, and I have a lot of umm, just, uh, time for myself and my health and just.

✓ So I have to say yes, and I have a lot of time for myself and my health.

The phrase 'a lot of umm, just, uh, time' is acceptable but the filler words should be removed for clarity. The sentence ends abruptly with 'and just', which should be omitted for completeness.

× Absolutely busy holidays because I can just wear suitable dresses and having fashionable outfits with my friends and every holiday we just dancing and have some fun so to be honest I like.

✓ Absolutely busy holidays because I can just wear suitable dresses and have fashionable outfits with my friends, and every holiday we just dance and have some fun, so to be honest I like it.

After 'can', the base form of the verb is required, so 'having' should be 'have'. 'We just dancing' should be 'we just dance'. The sentence is incomplete; adding 'it' at the end completes the thought.

× Both of them, but umm, if I would rather, umm, just, umm, actually peaceful holidays, uh, I went uh, to Quiche and uh, actually in the coastal regions, uh, to just the see the scenery and the enjoy that fresh air and just that.

✓ Both of them, but umm, I would rather have peaceful holidays. I went to Quiche, actually in the coastal regions, just to see the scenery and enjoy the fresh air and just that.

'If I would rather' is incorrect; 'I would rather have' is correct. 'To just the see' should be 'just to see'. 'The enjoy' should be 'enjoy'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correct modal verb usage.