Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct word order and avoid redundancy. For example, say "I went to Cox's Bazar for my last holiday and enjoyed it a lot with my family. It was a memorable experience." Also, avoid unnecessary words like "actually" and capitalize properly.

例: I went to Cox's Bazar for my last holiday and enjoyed it a lot with my family. It was a memorable experience for me.

提案: Reduce filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas clearly. For example, "I definitely love holidays because they give me time to spend with my family and friends. Also, holidays help me connect with my relatives."

例: I definitely love holidays because they give me time to spend with my family and friends. Also, holidays help me connect with my relatives.

提案: Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use clear linking words and complete your thoughts. For example, "To be honest, I like summer vacation the best because I get a lot of time to travel to new places and keep in touch with my relatives."

例: To be honest, I like summer vacation the best because I get a lot of time to travel to new places and keep in touch with my relatives.

提案: Avoid unnecessary phrases like 'the first thing I should mention' and 'etcetera'. Use linking words to list activities clearly. For example, "On holidays, I usually travel with my family to new places and also play sports with my friends."

例: On holidays, I usually travel with my family to new places and also play sports with my friends.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve sentence clarity. Use correct expressions like 'once in a blue moon' properly. For example, "Generally, I love spending time with my friends and family, but I rarely get the chance. I get a vacation only once in a blue moon."

例: Generally, I love spending time with my friends and family, but I rarely get the chance. I get a vacation only once in a blue moon.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve grammar. Use linking words to explain reasons clearly. For example, "I certainly prefer a leisurely holiday because it refreshes my mind and gives me some peace away from a busy work life."

例: I certainly prefer a leisurely holiday because it refreshes my mind and gives me some peace away from a busy work life.

提案: Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Clarify your ideas and use linking words. For example, "It depends on the situation, but most of the time I prefer exciting holidays because I rarely connect with my family except during holidays. However, sometimes I prefer quiet holidays."

例: It depends on the situation, but most of the time I prefer exciting holidays because I rarely connect with my family except during holidays. However, sometimes I prefer quiet holidays.

× Actually, I went to Cox's Bazar for last my holidays and I enjoyed a lot with my family members and it was an A memorable experience for me.

✓ Actually, I went to Cox's Bazar for my last holidays and I enjoyed a lot with my family members and it was a memorable experience for me.

The order of adjectives is incorrect. 'Last my holidays' should be 'my last holidays' because possessive adjectives come before ordinal adjectives in English.

× Actually, I went to Cox's Bazar for last my holidays and I enjoyed a lot with my family members and it was an A memorable experience for me.

✓ Actually, I went to Cox's Bazar for my last holidays and I enjoyed a lot with my family members and it was a memorable experience for me.

The article 'an' before 'A memorable experience' is incorrect. 'A' is the correct indefinite article before a word starting with a consonant sound.

× Uh, definitely I love holidays because, uh, I have, uh, vacation for spending time with my family or friends and uh, it in holidays, it connects me, my relatives as well.

✓ Uh, definitely I love holidays because, uh, I have vacation to spend time with my family or friends and, uh, during holidays, it connects me with my relatives as well.

Incorrect prepositions are used. 'For spending' should be 'to spend' and 'in holidays' should be 'during holidays'. Also, 'connects me, my relatives' should be 'connects me with my relatives'.

× So I love holiday.

✓ So I love holidays.

The noun 'holiday' should be plural 'holidays' to match the general statement about liking holidays.

× Uh, to be honest, I like, uh, the public holidays or is summer vacation when I get a lot of time to, uh, travel new places and, uh, in touch with, uh, my relatives.

✓ Uh, to be honest, I like, uh, the public holidays or summer vacation when I get a lot of time to, uh, travel to new places and, uh, keep in touch with, uh, my relatives.

The conjunction 'or is' is incorrect; it should be 'or'. Also, 'travel new places' needs the preposition 'to' and 'in touch with' needs the verb 'keep' to be correct.

× So therefore.

✓ So, therefore, I enjoy these times.

'So therefore' is an incomplete sentence and needs to be connected to a complete thought.

× Actually, the first thing I should mention is that I do several activities on my holidays, especially traveling with my family members in new place, followed by playing sports with my friends in the field and etcetera.

✓ Actually, the first thing I should mention is that I do several activities on my holidays, especially traveling with my family members to new places, followed by playing sports with my friends in the field, etc.

The preposition 'in' before 'new place' is incorrect; it should be 'to new places'. Also, 'and etcetera' is redundant; 'etc.' alone is sufficient.

× Uh, generally I love spending time with my friends or family members, but I rarely get an opportunity to, uh, spend time with them.

✓ Uh, generally I love spending time with my friends or family members, but I rarely get the opportunity to, uh, spend time with them.

The quantifier 'an' before 'opportunity' is correct, but 'the opportunity' is more appropriate here to refer to a specific chance.

× And I once in a blue moon, I get an vacation.

✓ And once in a blue moon, I get a vacation.

The phrase 'once in a blue moon' should not have 'I' after it. Also, 'an vacation' is incorrect; 'a vacation' is correct because 'vacation' starts with a consonant sound.

× Umm, certainly I prefer leisurely holiday because uh, it refreshes my mind and uh, give me a piece of time, uh, except a whole busy work life.

✓ Umm, certainly I prefer a leisurely holiday because, uh, it refreshes my mind and, uh, gives me some time off from a busy work life.

'Leisurely holiday' needs the article 'a'. 'Give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject. 'A piece of time' is unnatural; 'some time off' is better. 'Except a whole busy work life' is incorrect; 'from a busy work life' is correct.

× Uh, actually it depends on my situations and I, most of the time I prefer, uh, exciting holidays because, uh, I scarcely connect with my family members, uh, except holidays and most of the time I prefer quite.

✓ Uh, actually it depends on my situation and, most of the time, I prefer exciting holidays because, uh, I scarcely connect with my family members except during holidays, and most of the time I prefer quiet ones.

'Situations' should be singular 'situation' here. 'Except holidays' needs 'during' to be correct. 'Prefer quite' is incorrect; it should be 'prefer quiet ones' to refer to quiet holidays.