Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use past tense consistently and be more concise. For example, say "My boyfriend and I took our two cats on a relaxing trip to Washington during the long weekend in November."

例: My boyfriend and I took our two cats on a relaxing trip to Washington during the long weekend in November.

提案: Try to use more natural phrasing and avoid filler words like "kind of" and "uh." Also, use plural form correctly and link ideas smoothly. For example, "I really enjoy holidays because they give me a break from busy work, allow me to rest my eyes away from the laptop, and spend quality time with my cats and boyfriend."

例: I really enjoy holidays because they give me a break from busy work, allow me to rest my eyes away from the laptop, and spend quality time with my cats and boyfriend.

提案: Avoid hesitation and unclear phrases like "maybe" and "take a maybe outside of the trip." Be clear and specific. For example, "I like Christmas and New Year's Eve best because they are longer holidays, allowing me to spend more time with my cats and go on trips."

例: I like Christmas and New Year's Eve best because they are longer holidays, allowing me to spend more time with my cats and go on trips.

提案: Reduce the use of "maybe" and filler words. Complete your sentences fully and clearly. For example, "If I have a four to five day holiday, I usually rest for the first one or two days, then plan a nearby trip for the rest of the holiday."

例: If I have a four to five day holiday, I usually rest for the first one or two days, then plan a nearby trip for the rest of the holiday.

提案: Avoid hesitation sounds and unclear phrases like "left spell of cats." Use clear and natural expressions. For example, "It depends, but I like staying at home because I can spend more time with my cats. Since cats have a limited lifespan, I cherish every moment with them."

例: It depends, but I like staying at home because I can spend more time with my cats. Since cats have a limited lifespan, I cherish every moment with them.

提案: Try to connect your ideas smoothly and avoid short, incomplete sentences. For example, "I absolutely prefer leisurely holidays because weekdays are very busy, so during holidays I want to relax and enjoy every moment."

例: I absolutely prefer leisurely holidays because weekdays are very busy, so during holidays I want to relax and enjoy every moment.

提案: Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Use correct vocabulary such as "cherishable" or "cherished" instead of "cherishful." For example, "I prefer peaceful holidays because they help me appreciate life and the importance of spending time with my family."

例: I prefer peaceful holidays because they help me appreciate life and the importance of spending time with my family.

× So in that long weekend, my boyfriend and I, we bring, we brought our two cats to a very relaxing trip to Washington.

✓ So in that long weekend, my boyfriend and I brought our two cats on a very relaxing trip to Washington.

The verb 'bring' is incorrectly used in the present tense; it should be in the past tense 'brought' to match the past event. Also, 'to a trip' should be 'on a trip' as the correct preposition for trips is 'on'.

× I like holidays very much since it's kind of the break during busy works, and it allowed me to stay away from my laptop and protect my eyes and have more time to spend with my cats and my boyfriend.

✓ I like holidays very much since they're kind of a break during busy work, and they allow me to stay away from my laptop, protect my eyes, and have more time to spend with my cats and my boyfriend.

The word 'works' is incorrect here; 'work' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized. Also, 'it's' should be 'they're' to agree with the plural subject 'holidays'. Verb tenses should be consistent in present tense to match the general statement.

× I would say maybe Christmas and New Year's Eve because to be honest, it's kind of the longest holiday compared with the long weekend. I can spend more time with my cats and maybe take a maybe outside of the trip, yeah.

✓ I would say maybe Christmas and New Year's Eve because, to be honest, they're kind of the longest holidays compared with the long weekend. I can spend more time with my cats and maybe take a trip outside, yeah.

The phrase 'take a maybe outside of the trip' is unclear and incorrect. It should be 'take a trip outside'. Also, 'holiday' should be plural 'holidays' to agree with 'Christmas and New Year's Eve'.

× Maybe just if it's a very maybe four to five days holiday, I would prefer maybe have a quick rest in the first one to two days. And for the resting of the holidays we plan to go out for, uh, we would plan maybe a, a nearby trip to the.

✓ If it's a four to five day holiday, I would prefer to have a quick rest in the first one or two days. For the rest of the holiday, we plan to go out on a nearby trip.

The sentence is awkward and contains unnecessary fillers like 'maybe'. 'Four to five days holiday' should be 'four to five day holiday' as 'day' acts as an adjective. 'Resting of the holidays' should be 'rest of the holiday'. The sentence was incomplete and needed restructuring for clarity.

× MMM, I would I would say it depends. Uh, I like because I can have more time spent with my cat. You know, cats. The left spell of cats is limited. So I was cherish every moment I stayed with them.

✓ MMM, I would say it depends. I like it because I can spend more time with my cat. You know, cats' lifespan is limited, so I cherish every moment I spend with them.

The sentence 'I like because' is missing the object 'it'. 'The left spell of cats' is incorrect; it should be 'cats' lifespan'. 'I was cherish' is incorrect; it should be 'I cherish'. Verb tenses and pronouns were inconsistent.

× Absolutely leisurely because. It's very busy in the weekdays so if I have holiday I would just want to spend my time very slowly and enjoy them every moment in the holiday.

✓ Absolutely leisurely because it's very busy on weekdays, so if I have a holiday, I would just want to spend my time slowly and enjoy every moment of the holiday.

'In the weekdays' should be 'on weekdays'. 'If I have holiday' needs an article: 'a holiday'. 'Enjoy them every moment' is incorrect; it should be 'enjoy every moment'. Also, 'very slowly' is better as 'slowly' here.

× I would prefer a peaceful holiday because when when you enjoy your life, you can realize everything is so cherishful and you will know the importance the time you spend with your family and.

✓ I would prefer a peaceful holiday because when you enjoy your life, you can realize everything is so precious and you will understand the importance of the time you spend with your family.

The word 'cherishful' is not a correct adjective; 'precious' is appropriate. The phrase 'the importance the time' is missing 'of'. The sentence was incomplete and needed to be finished properly. Also, repeated 'when' was corrected.