Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence stating where you went and when. Keep supporting details specific and coherent, avoid repetition, and use linking words to organize information. Limit to 2–4 short sentences. Focus on one or two descriptive points (e.g., sights, activities) with brief examples.

例: I went abroad with my family to Spain last summer. We visited Barcelona and saw the Sagrada Família, which was stunning because of its intricate architecture. I enjoyed the local food and learned about the city's history during a guided tour.

提案: Start with a direct statement answering the question, then give two clear reasons with brief examples. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example' and avoid unclear phrases and grammar errors.

例: Yes, I enjoy holidays because they help me relax and recharge after work. For example, during holidays I often read books and practice new skills, which helps me return to work feeling more focused.

提案: Answer directly naming the holiday, then give specific reasons why you prefer it and one concrete example of what you do. Avoid vague adjectives and reduce repetition.

例: My favorite public holiday is New Year because it feels special and marks a fresh start. For instance, I usually celebrate with family, watch fireworks, and make resolutions to improve my habits for the coming year.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence about typical holiday activities, then list two or three specific activities with brief details or examples. Use linking words like 'and' or 'also' and avoid unclear phrases like 'responsibility for.'

例: On holidays I usually relax and spend time with family and friends. I also pursue hobbies, for example I practise photography and read books to improve my English.

提案: Begin with a direct answer (yes/no or it depends), then explain with contrasting details using linking words like 'however' or 'on the other hand'. Be specific about activities you do at home and outside.

例: It depends. Sometimes I like to stay at home to relax and do homework, but on other days I prefer going out. For example, I might go for a walk, go shopping, or watch a film at the cinema.

提案: State your preference clearly, then give two specific reasons and an example of activities that make the holiday productive. Remove hesitations and repetition.

例: I prefer busy holidays because I feel more productive and energized. For example, I plan day trips, exercise in the morning, and visit museums, which makes me feel I used my time well.

提案: Answer directly naming your preference, then explain with specific reasons and one concrete example of activities that make a holiday exciting. Avoid fillers ('umm') and redundant adjectives.

例: I prefer an exciting holiday because I enjoy new experiences and social activities. For example, I like going on guided tours, trying adventure sports, and exploring local nightlife with friends and family.

× In my last holidays I go to the abroad to a gift with my family.

✓ On my last holiday I went abroad to receive a gift with my family.

The sentence mixes present tense 'go' with reference to a past event 'last holidays'. Use past tense 'went' for actions that already happened. Also use 'on my last holiday' (singular) and 'abroad' without 'the'. Use 'went abroad to receive a gift' for clarity.

× In my last holidays I go to the abroad to a gift with my family.

✓ On my last holiday I went abroad to receive a gift with my family.

The phrase 'the abroad' is incorrect; 'abroad' does not take 'the'. Also 'my last holidays' is nonstandard; use 'my last holiday'.

× This travel is really be very excellent, very amazing and this country is really very beautiful, very amazing, very interesting and this country has a really big story.

✓ This trip was excellent and amazing; the country was very beautiful, interesting, and has a long history.

Use past tense 'was' for a completed trip. 'Travel' as a noun is less natural than 'trip'. 'Really be very' is ungrammatical; use 'was'. 'Has a really big story' should be 'has a long history' for natural English.

× I like this holidays.

✓ I liked this holiday.

Mismatch between 'this' (singular) and 'holidays' (plural). For a single trip say 'this holiday' and use past tense 'liked' if referring to a past event.

× I really like holidays like a many peoples people because holiday is a really good way to essential yourself learning more new information in previous subjects skills and just feel relaxed and.

✓ I really like holidays like many people because holidays are a good way to refresh yourself, learn new things, improve skills, and relax.

Multiple tense and number issues: 'a many peoples people' is incorrect—use 'many people'. 'Holiday is' should be 'holidays are' to match plural. 'Essential yourself' is wrong; use 'refresh yourself'. 'Learning more new information in previous subjects skills' is unclear; rephrase to 'learn new things' or 'improve skills'. Remove trailing 'and'.

× I really like holidays like a many peoples people because holiday is a really good way to essential yourself learning more new information in previous subjects skills and just feel relaxed and.

✓ I really like holidays like many people because holidays are a good way to refresh yourself, learn new things, improve skills, and relax.

The original uses redundant and incorrect pronouns/phrases ('peoples people'). Simplify to 'many people'. Use reflexive pronoun 'yourself' correctly after 'refresh'.

× I really like all public holidays, but one of my favorite is New Year holidays because I think that it's this holidays is really very special, very interesting and very amazing.

✓ I really like all public holidays, but one of my favorites is New Year because I think this holiday is very special, interesting, and amazing.

'One of my favorite is New Year holidays' mixes singular/plural. Use 'one of my favorites is New Year' or 'one of my favorite holidays is New Year'. Also 'it's this holidays is' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'this holiday is'.

× I really like all public holidays, but one of my favorite is New Year holidays because I think that it's this holidays is really very special, very interesting and very amazing.

✓ I really like all public holidays, but one of my favorites is New Year because I think this holiday is very special, interesting, and amazing.

Avoid stacking intensifiers 'really very'; choose one ('very' or 'really'). Use adjectives in natural order and avoid repetition.

× And this holidays I can do very a lot of things feel good and.

✓ During this holiday I can do a lot of things that make me feel good.

'This holidays' should be 'this holiday'. Word order 'do very a lot of things feel good' is incorrect; rephrase to 'do a lot of things that make me feel good'. Remove trailing 'and'.

× Honestly in my holidays I just like relax, spend my time with family, friends and do all things that I like and improve myself.

✓ Honestly, on my holidays I just like to relax, spend time with family and friends, do things I enjoy, and work on self-improvement.

Use 'on my holidays' and infinitive 'to relax'. 'Spend my time with family, friends' is fine but smoother as 'spend time with family and friends'. 'Improve myself' is better phrased as 'work on self-improvement'.

× I think I think that holidays is really very good responsibility for.

✓ I think that holidays are really good for relaxing and personal development.

'Holidays is' is incorrect; use 'holidays are'. The original sentence lacks a clear object—'responsibility for' is incomplete. Provide a clear complement like 'good for relaxing and personal development'.

× I think I think that holidays is really very good responsibility for.

✓ I think that holidays are really good for relaxing and personal development.

The phrase 'good responsibility for' left the sentence without a clear verb phrase or object. Rewriting supplies a verb and completes the idea.

× When? How? Because I have the days when I just want to sit at home doing my homework, just relax.

✓ Sometimes I have days when I just want to sit at home, do my homework, and relax.

'When? How?' are unnecessary fragments. Use 'Sometimes' to introduce frequency. Use parallel verbs 'do my homework and relax'.

× But I also have days when I don't like to spend all my day at home.

✓ But I also have days when I don't like to spend the whole day at home.

'All my day' is nonstandard; use 'the whole day'. Tense is present habitual, so 'don't like' is correct; adjust noun phrase.

× I have days when I like to walking, go to the shopping, go to the cinema.

✓ I have days when I like to walk, go shopping, or go to the cinema.

After 'like to' use base verb 'walk', not 'walking'. 'Go to the shopping' should be 'go shopping'. Use parallel structure and conjunction 'or'.

× Especially I like busy holidays because when I have the busy holidays, my days umm spend a productive and I can do a lot of umm, productive and healthy things for myself umm and so.

✓ I especially like busy holidays because when my holidays are busy, my days are productive and I can do many productive and healthy things for myself.

Use 'my holidays are busy' rather than 'I have the busy holidays'. Add verb 'are' for 'my days are productive'. Remove filler 'umm' and 'and so'. Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for variety.

× Especially I like busy holidays because when I have the busy holidays, my days umm spend a productive and I can do a lot of umm, productive and healthy things for myself umm and so.

✓ I especially like busy holidays because when my holidays are busy, my days are productive and I can do many productive and healthy things for myself.

Adverb 'especially' should come before 'like' for natural word order. Place 'productive' after the verb 'are'.

× I especially prefer an exciting vacation because I think that's an exciting vacation.

✓ I especially prefer an exciting vacation because I think it is very enjoyable and exciting.

Avoid repeating 'an exciting vacation' twice; use pronoun 'it' to refer back. Maintain present tense and improve style.

× It's really very interesting, amazing, exciting and have a lot of, umm, happy moments.

✓ It's very interesting, amazing, and exciting, and it offers many happy moments.

Avoid 'really very' redundancy. 'Have a lot of happy moments' needs a subject—use 'it offers many happy moments'. Remove filler 'umm'.

× For example, uh, and I think that's exciting vacation, Umm, is vacation with your family, umm, with your friends, umm.

✓ For example, I think an exciting vacation is one spent with your family or friends.

The original has disfluent fillers and poor structure. Combine ideas into a clear sentence: 'an exciting vacation is one spent with your family or friends.' Remove fillers and fix article use.