Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with grammar and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms (e.g., "enjoy" → "enjoys" or rephrase), and avoid repeating "stay at home". Add one or two specific activities as supporting details and use a linking word for coherence.

例: I didn’t travel on my last holiday; I stayed at home to relax and unwind. For example, I spent mornings meditating and afternoons catching up with a close friend over coffee. This quieter break helped me recharge without the stress of travel.

提案: Correct small grammar and phrasing issues and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, then two specific reasons linked with connectors (e.g., "because" / "so"). Replace vague phrases like "a lot" with precise examples.

例: Yes, I enjoy holidays because they let me relax and reconnect with my family. For instance, we usually go for a day trip or have a special family meal, which reduces stress and helps me return to work feeling more productive.

提案: Use correct holiday names and clearer structure. Start with the topic sentence naming the holidays, then explain reasons with specific cultural details. Avoid incorrect words (e.g., "idolatry" is wrong) and repetition.

例: My favourite public holidays are Eid al-Fitr and Ramadan because they are central to Muslim faith. During Ramadan we fast and reflect, and Eid al-Fitr is a time for family gatherings, prayer and seeking forgiveness, which brings us closer to God.

提案: Reduce hesitation and fix grammar ("who go" → "who goes"; "enjoy" → "enjoys"). Give two specific hobby examples and use a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid vague phrases like "not a lot of things."

例: I usually stay at home and pursue my hobbies, such as reading novels and painting. Occasionally family members come to visit, but I prefer quiet activities rather than adventurous outings.

提案: Finish sentences fully and avoid fragments. Use a clear structure: state preference, give contrasting detail with a linking word, and conclude with a brief reason. Correct tense and phrasing issues.

例: I like spending time at home because it is comfortable and relaxing. However, I also enjoy going out with friends occasionally, so I often try to balance both but sometimes end up staying home more than I plan.

提案: Clarify contradictions ("relaxing, uncomfortable"), correct articles and idioms ("a leisurely holiday", "to the max" → more formal phrasing). Use a topic sentence and two concise reasons linked logically.

例: I prefer a leisurely holiday because it is calm and helps me recharge. For example, I enjoy quiet walks and reading, and I avoid crowded places because noise and crowds make me feel stressed.

提案: Correct grammar and finish thoughts. Use a clear topic sentence, then give two concise reasons with linking words. Replace awkward phrases ("equals stress equal in anxiety") with natural expressions.

例: I would prefer a peaceful holiday because excitement usually makes me anxious and drains my energy. For instance, I avoid busy events and choose quiet retreats so I can fully relax.

× I'm not the type of person who enjoy traveling because it can be very stressful, so I took my time to stay at home to spend my time, meditate or catch up with friends here and there.

✓ I'm not the type of person who enjoys traveling because it can be very stressful, so I took my time to stay at home to spend time, meditate, or catch up with friends here and there.

The relative clause 'who enjoy' refers to 'person' (singular), so the verb must be 'enjoys' (third person singular). Also 'spend my time' is redundant after 'took my time'; use 'spend time' and add commas in the list for clarity. Suggested improvement: identify the singular subject in relative clauses and use the -s form for present simple third person verbs; simplify redundant phrases.

× Yes, I do like holiday.

✓ Yes, I do like holidays.

In general speech, countable nouns like 'holiday' require an article or plural form. Here the speaker means holidays in general, so use the plural 'holidays'. Suggested improvement: use the plural for general statements about noncountable groups (holidays) or add an article if referring to a specific holiday (a holiday/the holiday).

× It's a time of the year where you get to relax, you get to spend a lot of time with your family and even go out, do some activities.

✓ It's a time of the year when you get to relax, you get to spend a lot of time with your family and even go out and do some activities.

Use 'when' (time reference) instead of 'where' for moments in time. Also use 'and do' to connect verbs in the list. Suggested improvement: use 'when' after 'time' and parallel structure for coordinated verbs.

× It's important to have these days off very often because it can relieve a lot of stress and it's a very important for a person to take that time in order to be productive.

✓ It's important to have these days off regularly because they can relieve a lot of stress, and it's very important for a person to take that time in order to be productive.

Pronoun agreement: 'these days' is plural so use 'they' not 'it'. 'Very often' is better as 'regularly'. Also remove the unnecessary article in 'a very important for a person'. Suggested improvement: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and avoid redundant articles.

× I like idolatry and Ramadan because it's the most important time of the year for especially for Muslim people, because these days are very important to us for God to forgive all the mistakes and all our sins.

✓ I like Eid al-Fitr and Ramadan because they are the most important times of the year, especially for Muslim people, because these days are very important to us for God to forgive our mistakes and sins.

'Idolatry' is the wrong word; likely meant 'Eid' (festival). Use plural agreement 'they are' for two occasions and remove redundant words 'for especially'. Also 'for God to forgive our mistakes and sins' is clearer without 'all the'. Suggested improvement: choose correct vocabulary (Eid), match verb number to plural subjects, and avoid redundant modifiers.

× I basically stay at home, uh, practicing my hobbies and doing fun things and our family can visit us as well but not a lot of things.

✓ I basically stay at home, practicing my hobbies and doing fun things, and my family can visit us as well but not for long.

Switch 'our family' to 'my family' for consistency with 'I'. 'Not a lot of things' is unclear; likely 'not for long' or 'not often'. Also remove filler 'uh' and add commas. Suggested improvement: keep pronouns consistent (I/my), and replace vague phrases with clear time/frequency expressions.

× I'm not that type of adventurous person who go to crazy things.

✓ I'm not that type of adventurous person who goes in for crazy activities.

Relative clause refers to 'person' (singular), so use 'goes' not 'go'. 'Go to crazy things' is unidiomatic; 'go in for crazy activities' or 'do crazy things' is better. Suggested improvement: ensure verb agrees with singular 'person' and use idiomatic expressions for activities.

× I'm just a normal person who enjoy the time at home and alone.

✓ I'm just a normal person who enjoys time at home and being alone.

Relative clause subject 'person' is singular, so use 'enjoys'. Also use 'being alone' to express the state and remove unnecessary 'the'. Suggested improvement: use -s for third person singular and appropriate gerund phrases for states.

× So whenever I come home, I promise myself that I will go out more, but I then fall into the loop of staying at home again. So yeah, it's a.

✓ So whenever I come home, I promise myself that I will go out more, but I then fall back into the habit of staying at home again. So yeah, that's how it is.

The fragment 'it's a' is incomplete. 'Fall into the loop' is unnatural; 'fall back into the habit' is idiomatic. Complete the final sentence to be a full clause. Suggested improvement: avoid sentence fragments and choose idiomatic collocations.

× I do prefer leisurely holiday because they can be very calming, relaxing, uncomfortable as well and often the streets can be very quiet so I like to enjoy that time to the Max and not involve myself into larger crowds or too much noise because they can be very stressful.

✓ I prefer leisurely holidays because they can be very calming and relaxing, and often the streets are very quiet, so I like to enjoy that time to the max and not involve myself in large crowds or too much noise because those can be very stressful.

Use plural 'holidays' for general preference. Fix list punctuation and remove contradictory word 'uncomfortable'. Use 'involve myself in' not 'into', and 'those' to refer back to crowds/noise. Suggested improvement: use plural for general nouns, correct prepositions ('in' not 'into'), and maintain logical consistency in lists.

× A peaceful holiday at all cost. Excitement for me equals stress equal in anxiety.

✓ A peaceful holiday at all costs. Excitement, for me, equals stress and anxiety.

Use the fixed phrase 'at all costs' (plural). The second sentence is ungrammatical: use 'equals' with parallel nouns 'stress and anxiety' and add commas for clarity. Suggested improvement: learn fixed expressions and keep parallel structure in equative sentences.

× So I don't like to involve myself into that type of holidays and is often filled with a lot of people as well so it I might it takes a lot of my energy and.

✓ So I don't like to involve myself in that type of holiday, which is often filled with a lot of people, because it takes a lot of my energy.

Use 'involve myself in' (preposition 'in'), 'that type of holiday' (singular) and provide a clause 'which is often filled...' to describe it. Remove extra words and complete the sentence. Suggested improvement: ensure correct preposition use with 'involve', match singular/plural, and avoid sentence fragments.