Holidays— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more precise and correct grammar; avoid repetition; include one or two specific details (places, activities) and use linking words for coherence. Keep it under five sentences.

例: I flew to Thailand for my last holiday and I really enjoyed it. We visited several palaces and vibrant markets, and saw beautiful temples and beaches. For example, I loved the Grand Palace in Bangkok and a day trip to Phi Phi Islands. Overall, I would definitely recommend Thailand for its rich culture and scenic surroundings.

提案: Good clarity and personal reasoning. Improve coherence by using linking words and slightly more formal vocabulary (e.g., 'relax' not 'chill'), and reduce redundancy by combining similar sentences.

例: Yes, I like holidays because they give me a chance to relax and recover from school and work. Since I'm often exhausted during term time, holidays allow me to dedicate time to myself and recharge.

提案: Clarify which holiday you mean and correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., holiday name, 'most of all'); give specific reasons and use linking words to make it coherent. Keep sentences concise.

例: My favourite public holiday is the Knuckles Festival, mostly because it gives us long time off school. As a result, I usually fly abroad to explore other cultures and learn about local traditions during this break.

提案: Fix unclear phrases (e.g., 'holidays meal'?) and use correct tense and word choice. Provide specific holiday activities and link reasons clearly (crowds -> travel abroad -> family time).

例: During holidays my family prefers to fly abroad because cold-season crowds and heavy traffic at home make travel difficult. Therefore, we travel together to spend quality time, visit attractions, and relax away from the hustle.

提案: Answer is clear and relevant. Improve fluency by correcting small errors ('we'll' -> 'well'), combining sentences, and using linking words for flow.

例: No, I prefer going out because school is stressful and I rarely see my cousins and friends. On holidays I usually visit my cousin so we can spend time together and strengthen our family bonds.

提案: Be concise and avoid contradiction; correct word choices ('luxury' vs 'leisure') and tense mistakes. Explain how you combine both types with specific examples and linking words.

例: I prefer a mix of leisurely and busy holidays. For example, I relax by playing tennis and meeting friends, but I also enjoy busy trips when I can travel, visit sights, and try new activities.

提案: Avoid repetition and wordiness; choose clear phrasing to explain how a holiday can be both exciting and peaceful, with specific examples and linking words. Keep answer within 3-4 sentences.

例: I prefer a holiday that is both peaceful and exciting. For instance, mornings can be calm—reading on the beach—while afternoons are for exploring local markets or taking a boat trip, which lets me relax and bond with family while enjoying new experiences.

× Throughout the trip we we met different palaces and we saw mesmerizing things.

✓ Throughout the trip we visited different palaces and saw mesmerizing things.

The verb 'met' is incorrectly used with 'palaces'; 'meet' is for people, not places. Use 'visited' (past simple) to describe going to places. Also remove the duplicated 'we' and omit the second 'we' before 'saw' for concise past-tense parallel structure.

× I would definitely recommend for everyone to go there and while it was out there the the surroundings were really worth it seeing all that.

✓ I would definitely recommend everyone to go there; the surroundings were really worth seeing.

Do not use 'recommend for everyone to'; use 'recommend everyone to' or 'recommend that everyone goes'. The phrase 'while it was out there' is unclear and unnecessary. Remove duplicated 'the' and use 'worth seeing' (adjective + -ing) to indicate something is worthwhile to see.

× I like holidays because I feel like it's the only time when I get to chill and I don't have to do much work throughout school days and working days.

✓ I like holidays because they are the only times when I can relax and don't have to do much work during school or working days.

Pronoun reference and plurality: 'holidays' is plural, so use 'they are' and 'times'. 'Chill' is informal; 'relax' fits better. 'Throughout school days and working days' is awkward; use 'during school or working days'.

× I'm always exhausted and I don't feel like I have time for myself.

✓ I'm always exhausted and don't feel like I have time for myself.

This sentence is acceptable but redundant 'I' can be omitted to improve fluency. No grammatical error beyond style; kept as present tense consistent with context.

× I like Knuckles but I'm at the most.

✓ I like Knuckles the most.

Phrase 'I'm at the most' is incorrect. Use 'the most' to indicate preference. Ensure subject and superlative form are correct.

× There are tons of reasons, but the main 1 is that we get the most time off of school doing this holidays I get to fly to another county, explore the richness of other cultures, and get to know their traditions and holidays as well.

✓ There are tons of reasons, but the main one is that we get the most time off from school; during these holidays I fly to another country, explore other cultures, and learn about their traditions and holidays.

Use 'one' instead of '1'. Use 'time off from school' not 'off of school'. 'Doing this holidays' is incorrect; use 'during these holidays'. 'County' should be 'country'. Use parallel verbs 'explore' and 'learn'.

× During the holidays meal, my family preferred to fly to another country because usually during cold holidays in my country it's so bizarre.

✓ During the holidays, my family prefers to fly to another country because during the cold season in my country it is very crowded.

'Holidays meal' is wrong; likely 'holidays' alone. Tense consistency: use present simple 'prefer' for habitual action. 'Bizarre' is wrong word for crowded; replace with 'crowded'. Avoid 'it's so' in formal correction.

× Everywhere is crowded, there's tons of traffic, so we like to fly out of the country.

✓ Everything is crowded and there is a lot of traffic, so we like to fly out of the country.

Use 'everything' instead of 'everywhere' for subject, or restructure; 'tons of traffic' is informal—use 'a lot of traffic'. Maintain subject-verb agreement 'there is'.

× Plus we get time together as a family, which rarely do in our homeland.

✓ Plus we get time together as a family, which rarely happens in our homeland.

Relative clause missing subject; 'which rarely do' is ungrammatical. Use 'which rarely happens' to indicate that family time rarely occurs at home.

× I usually prefer going out because I feel like we already get enough school stress.

✓ I usually prefer going out because I feel we already have enough school-related stress.

'Get enough school stress' is awkward; use 'have enough school-related stress'. Keep present tense and plural noun agreement.

× We don't get to see our cousins, our family members and friends as much.

✓ We don't get to see our cousins, other family members, and friends very often.

Use 'very often' instead of 'as much' for frequency. Add 'other' for clarity and natural phrasing.

× But during the day we'll I usually go to see my cousin.

✓ But during the day I usually go to see my cousin.

Remove contracted 'we'll' which is incorrect here; subject should be 'I'. Keep simple present or present continuous if describing routine.

× I prefer and a luxury holiday and a busy holiday.

✓ I prefer both a luxurious holiday and a busy holiday.

Use 'both' and correct adjective form 'luxurious' (not noun 'luxury') and remove extra 'and'.

× During my leisure time I play tennis, I hung out with my friends and I enjoy a busy holiday because I can get to travel and I really enjoy the time.

✓ During my leisure time I play tennis, hang out with my friends, and enjoy a busy holiday because I can travel and really enjoy the time.

Maintain consistent present-tense verbs for habitual actions: use 'hang out' not 'hung out'. Remove repeated 'I' for fluency and parallelism in the list.

× So yes, I prefer both luxury and busy holidays at the same time.

✓ So yes, I prefer both luxurious and busy holidays at the same time.

Use adjective 'luxurious' to modify 'holidays' and maintain parallel structure with 'busy'.

× I would prefer an exciting and a peaceful holiday.

✓ I would prefer both an exciting holiday and a peaceful holiday.

Use 'both' and repeat article for parallel structure or rephrase as 'both exciting and peaceful holidays'.

× I believe that after constant school stress and work stress, people obviously need to have an exciting, healthy and a peaceful holiday to get time off and at the same time to get an exciting holiday to bond with their family members and get closer with their friends.

✓ I believe that after constant school and work stress, people need both exciting and peaceful holidays: exciting ones to bond with family and friends, and peaceful ones to rest and recover.

Avoid repetition and improve parallelism. Remove redundant 'obviously' and repeated 'exciting holiday'. Use parallel structure 'exciting ones' and 'peaceful ones' and clarify purposes.

× So I prefer both the exciting holiday and a peaceful holiday.

✓ So I prefer both exciting and peaceful holidays.

Make nouns plural and parallel without unnecessary articles. This is more natural and grammatically correct.