Stories— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构不够自然，有语法错误和冗余表达。回答应直接用主题句表明喜好，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，并注意时态和冠词使用。可以把“curiosity is born in humans instinct”改为更自然的表达，避免重复。

例: Yes, I loved stories as a child. I was very curious about the world, especially traditional cultural tales, so I often asked my parents to tell me a story before bed.

提案: 表达混乱且时态混用，句子不够简洁。应直接回答偏好并解释原因，使用连接词使逻辑清晰。避免“why was a child”这类错误。

例: When I was young I preferred listening to stories because I couldn’t read yet and enjoyed hearing about traditional and Western tales. Later, after I started kindergarten, I began reading them myself to explore the stories in more depth.

提案: 语法和时态有错误（例如 we was, LED, who saving）。回答应更简洁，先肯定然后给出具体细节，注意使用正确的过去时和定语从句结构。

例: Yes. In first grade my Chinese teacher asked us to create our own story, and I wrote about a little dog who used his cleverness to save his brothers.

提案: 表述不连贯，重复且语法错误（例如 why was a kid, listening listen, Dragons 大写）。应先给出一般偏好，再按年龄变化说明，使用连接词并提供具体例子。

例: It depends on my age. As a child I enjoyed traditional folk tales, but as I got older I became interested in Western stories about warriors and dragons, such as knight adventures and fantasy legends.

× Sure, curiosity is born in humans instinct.

✓ Sure, curiosity is born in human instinct.

句子结构不自然，应使用固定短语“human instinct”。原句使用复数形式“humans instinct”在名词之间缺少连接或所有格，导致结构混乱。建议使用“human instinct”或改为“humans' instinct（人的本能）”。

× Not to mention I'm always curious about the world around me, especially the traditional cultural stories.

✓ Not to mention I'm always curious about the world around me, especially traditional cultural stories.

“the traditional cultural stories”中“the”并非必要且使表达不自然，另外句子结构本身可以保留但要注意名词搭配。简化为“especially traditional cultural stories”更流畅。

× So I always beg my parents to tell me one story before sleep when I was a child.

✓ So I always begged my parents to tell me a story before sleep when I was a child.

描述过去发生的习惯动作应使用过去时，故“beg”应改为过去式“begged”。另外“one story”改为更自然的“a story”。

× Why was a child? I prefer listening to stories because I'm unknown about the traditional stories or the Western stories.

✓ When I was a child, I preferred listening to stories because I wasn't familiar with traditional stories or Western stories.

原句“Why was a child?”明显错误，应为“When I was a child”。叙述过去的偏好应使用过去时“preferred”。“I'm unknown about”表达错误，改为“wasn't familiar with”。

× However, when I grew up and after I entered the kindergarten, I'd like to read them, explore them with myself.

✓ However, when I grew older and after I entered kindergarten, I liked to read them and explore them by myself.

句子在描述过去的行为，应使用过去时“liked”。“grew up”改为更自然的“grew older”。“enter the kindergarten”改为“entered kindergarten”。“explore them with myself”语法不正确，改为“explore them by myself”。

× Sure, while we was in grade one in primary school, our Chinese teacher once LED us to compile a story by ourselves, and I made a story about a little dog who saving his brothers by his intelligence.

✓ Sure, while we were in grade one in primary school, our Chinese teacher once led us to compile a story by ourselves, and I wrote a story about a little dog who saved his brothers by his intelligence.

主谓不一致：主语“we”应对应过去式“were”。“LED”应为过去式小写“led”，且语态及用词不当，改为“led us to compile”合适。动词“made a story”不自然，应为“wrote a story”。“who saving”应使用过去式“saved”来与句中时间一致。

× It depends on my age. Why was a kid? I'd like to hear stories about the tales and traditional stories.

✓ It depends on my age. When I was a kid, I'd like to hear tales and traditional stories.

“Why was a kid?”错误，应为“When I was a kid”。“stories about the tales and traditional stories”存在重复和冗余，改为“tales and traditional stories”。

× When I grew up a bit older, I'd like to listening listen the western stories about the warrior and the Dragons.

✓ When I grew a bit older, I liked listening to Western stories about warriors and dragons.

时态和动词形式不一致，描述过去应用过去时“liked”。“I'd like to listening listen”不正确，改为“liked listening to”。“western”应大写为“Western”。“the warrior and the Dragons”应为复数“warriors and dragons”，并小写“dragons”。