Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant with a good example. To improve, make the topic sentence more concise, avoid redundancy ('interests and the personality' repeats idea), and use a linking phrase to connect the general statement to the example. Also keep sentences natural and slightly varied in vocabulary.

例: Yes. I try to pick gifts that match the recipient’s interests and personality. For example, I recently bought a cookbook for my sister because she loves cooking, which made the present both useful and thoughtful.

提案: Good direct response and reasoning. Improve by tightening grammar (e.g., singular/plural agreement: 'gifts' or 'a gift'), using a linking word to add the reason, and giving a specific example of a personal gift to add concreteness.

例: I usually give gifts to family and friends on special occasions like birthdays and holidays. For instance, at birthdays I often give a personalized photo frame because it shows I care and makes the celebration more meaningful.

提案: The answer is confusing and contains many errors and inappropriate words, which disrupt meaning. To improve, correct grammar and vocabulary, remove irrelevant or incorrect words, state a clear topic sentence, and provide two specific, coherent considerations with linking words and examples. Keep sentences simple and logical.

例: I consider the recipient’s interests and practical needs when choosing a gift. For example, if someone enjoys reading I might buy a book or an e-reader; if they like technology I choose a useful gadget that fits their style.

提案: You answered directly and gave an example, which is good. However, grammar and word choice are problematic (e.g., 'Valentine days', 'looked directed', 'patissiest'). Improve by correcting tense and vocabulary, describing one memory with sensory detail, and keeping it concise (no more than five sentences).

例: Yes. In the past I used to bake chocolate cakes for family and friends on Valentine’s Day. They always smiled when they received the cakes and told me they tasted delicious, which made me very happy.

提案: Your answer gives a clear opinion and example, but the ending is awkward and repetitive. Improve by adding a linking phrase to present the contrasting view and finish with a balanced conclusion. Use concise sentences and avoid redundancy.

例: I generally agree that expensive gifts can express strong feelings because they often signal value and commitment. For example, a diamond ring can illustrate deep love. However, small thoughtful gifts can also be very meaningful, so I think both types can express feelings depending on the person.

× When I choose our gift, I consider the lesbians tasty and they are personality.

✓ When I choose a gift, I consider the recipient's tastes and personality.

The original sentence uses incorrect and unrelated words ('our', 'lesbians', 'tasty', 'they are personality') and wrong pronoun forms. Use 'a gift' or 'the gift' not 'our gift'; 'recipient's' correctly shows possession; 'tastes' (plural) and 'personality' are the correct nouns. This fixes incorrect pronoun and word choice and makes the sentence clear. Suggestion: Focus on who will receive the gift and use possessive nouns (recipient's tastes).

× Whilst 3 preferences matter because I want to buy something they will actually use such as books or a reader or gadget.

✓ Also, preferences matter because I want to buy something they will actually use, such as books, an e-reader, or a gadget.

'Whilst 3' is incorrect (likely a transcription error). Use 'Also' or 'Besides' to connect ideas. Use plural or singular consistency: 'an e-reader' instead of 'a reader'. Include commas in a list. This corrects wrong connector and unclear wording. Suggestion: Replace numbers or stray characters with appropriate connectors and ensure list items are parallel.

× For techie secondary personality helps me decide the style and vulnerability of the present.

✓ For techie recipients, their preferences help me decide the style and suitability of the present.

The original mixes words incorrectly ('techie secondary personality', 'vulnerability'). Use 'recipients' to refer to people and 'preferences' to describe what they like. 'Suitability' fits the intended meaning better than 'vulnerability'. This fixes noun choice and pronoun reference. Suggestion: Use clear nouns ('recipients', 'preferences') and choose vocabulary that matches the intended meaning ('suitability').

× Yes, on Valentine days in the past I used to bake chocolate cakes to my family and friends.

✓ Yes, on Valentine's Day in the past I used to bake chocolate cakes for my family and friends.

Use the singular fixed expression 'Valentine's Day' and the preposition 'for' (not 'to') with 'bake ... for someone'. The past habitual 'used to bake' is correct. This corrects preposition and noun form. Suggestion: Use standard holiday names and correct prepositions for verbs of giving or making.

× Every time they received my cakes they looked directed and they said it tasted as good as the patissiest 1.

✓ Every time they received my cakes they looked delighted, and they said they tasted as good as a patissier's.

'Directed' is likely a typo for 'delighted'. 'They said it tasted' has a pronoun mismatch — 'cakes' is plural so use 'they tasted' or treat as singular 'it' only if referring to a single cake. 'Patissiest 1' is nonsense; the correct noun is 'patissier's' (possession) or 'a pastry chef's'. This fixes word choice, adjective, and agreement. Suggestion: Check spelling of adjectives ('delighted'), match plural nouns with plural pronouns/verbs, and use correct possessive forms for comparison.

× I generally agree because expensive gifts often signal how much we value someone.

✓ I generally agree, because expensive gifts often signal how much we value someone.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable but benefits from a comma after 'agree' to separate clauses. No major grammatical error; include comma for clarity. Suggestion: Use punctuation to clarify clause boundaries.

× For example, a diamond ring or another meaningful, costly present can illustrate the deep love and appreciation of those small, thoughtful gifts can also be very meaningful.

✓ For example, a diamond ring or another meaningful, costly present can illustrate deep love and appreciation, but small, thoughtful gifts can also be very meaningful.

The original runs two ideas together and lacks conjunction or punctuation. Split into contrasting clauses with 'but' to show contrast between expensive and small gifts. This fixes sentence run-on and structure. Suggestion: Use conjunctions and punctuation to connect contrasted ideas clearly.