History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and incomplete, especially the last part. Try to provide a clear topic sentence and complete your thoughts with specific details. Avoid vague phrases like 'whether his capabilities and.'

例: Yes, I studied history in both primary and high school. One important topic was about our national hero, Jose Rizal, and how his writings and actions contributed to our country's independence.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by using linking words to connect ideas and by avoiding redundancy. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and structure your answer logically.

例: I usually learn history by reading books and browsing the Internet. However, if I find the text difficult to understand, I watch videos on YouTube or check posts on Facebook because visual materials help me grasp the information better.

提案: Your answer has good points but could be more coherent by using linking words and avoiding repetition. Also, try to provide more specific examples or reasons to support your ideas.

例: Learning history has many benefits. Firstly, it helps you connect with your roots and understand your ancestors better. Secondly, it allows you to appreciate the challenges they faced, which can inspire you in your own life.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains hesitations and some unclear phrasing. Try to speak more fluently and organize your ideas clearly with linking words. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeated words.

例: I think learning history is important because it helps us understand our roots and the struggles our ancestors went through. This knowledge fosters appreciation and contributes to our personal growth.

× The topic was about our national hero, Jose Rizal, and what contributed to our country, whether his capabilities and.

✓ The topic was about our national hero, Jose Rizal, and his contributions to our country, including his capabilities.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear, ending abruptly with 'whether his capabilities and.' The correction completes the thought by specifying 'his contributions to our country, including his capabilities,' making the sentence clear and grammatically correct.

× Sometimes if I can't understand what I was reading I would also check on Facebook or YouTube because I like to learn or watch with a visual so I can understand better.

✓ Sometimes if I can't understand what I am reading, I also check Facebook or YouTube because I like to learn or watch visually so I can understand better.

The sentence mixes past tense 'was reading' with present tense 'can't understand.' Since the context is general, present tense should be used consistently. Also, 'check on Facebook' is better as 'check Facebook,' and 'watch with a visual' is corrected to 'watch visually' for clarity.

× Second, you would deeply understand the situations and and struggles of your ancestors.

✓ Second, you would deeply understand the situations and struggles of your ancestors.

There is a repeated conjunction 'and and' which is a typographical error. Removing the duplicate 'and' corrects the sentence.

× I believe that learning history is important because knowing your roots and discovering or exploring the, uh, struggles of your ancestors, you, you will be able to appreciate and it will help you with your personal growth.

✓ I believe that learning history is important because by knowing your roots and discovering or exploring the struggles of your ancestors, you will be able to appreciate them and it will help you with your personal growth.

The original sentence has awkward pronoun usage and repetition ('you, you'). The correction removes the repetition and clarifies the object of 'appreciate' by adding 'them,' referring to the struggles. Also, 'by' is added to connect the clauses properly.