Money— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: In your answer, try to avoid repetition and use correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific details using linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, instead of repeating 'I have never', say 'I have rarely borrowed money, but once during college, I had to because...'.

例: I have rarely borrowed money from others. However, once during my college years, I was completely broke and had no money, so I had to borrow some from a friend to cover my expenses.

提案: Your answer needs clearer structure and grammar. Begin with a direct response, then explain with specific examples using linking words. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. For instance, say 'Yes, I often lend money to my friends when they face difficulties because...'

例: Yes, I often lend money to my friends, especially when they are going through difficult times. For example, when a friend had financial problems, I was the only one they could turn to, so I lent them money even if they sometimes couldn't repay me quickly.

× I have never even did in my life before.

✓ I have never even done so in my life before.

The verb 'did' is the simple past form, but after 'have never even', the past participle form 'done' should be used to form the present perfect tense correctly.

× I have many timeline money to others, specially, uh, in my friend circles,

✓ I have lent money to others many times, especially in my friend circles,

The phrase 'many timeline money' is incorrect; 'many times' is the correct quantifier for frequency. Also, 'friend circles' should be 'friend circle' or 'circles' depending on context, but 'friend circles' is acceptable if plural. The sentence needed rephrasing for clarity and correct quantifier usage.

× they were have only find a way of me to contact me and ask for the money.

✓ they only had to find a way to contact me and ask for the money.

The phrase 'were have only find a way of me' is grammatically incorrect. The correct structure is 'had to find a way to contact me'. The preposition 'of' is incorrectly used and should be omitted; 'to contact me' is the correct infinitive phrase.

× So I frequently offer them a money and even they do not give.

✓ So I frequently offer them money even if they do not pay me back.

The article 'a' before 'money' is incorrect because 'money' is an uncountable noun and does not take 'a'. Also, the phrase 'even they do not give' is unclear; 'even if they do not pay me back' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.