Money— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), correct minor grammar (e.g., "I borrowed money from my sister for my school fees"), and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep the answer under five sentences.

例: Yes, I have. I borrowed money from my sister to pay my school fees last semester. Because I didn’t have enough savings at the time, she lent me the full amount, and I plan to repay her in instalments next month.

提案: Clarify the meaning and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence, remove unclear phrases, and provide a specific detail and consequence using linking words. Use simple past for the action and present perfect or present simple for the current state.

例: Yes, I have. I lent some money to a friend to help him pay his tuition last year, but he hasn’t repaid me yet. Because he’s been short of work recently, I have agreed to give him more time to return it.

× Yeah, I have, uh, borrowed money from many people like my friend and my sister.

✓ Yeah, I have borrowed money from several people, like my friends and my sister.

The original sentence mixes singular/plural reference: 'my friend and my sister' implies two specific people, but 'many people' suggests more than two. Replace 'many people' with 'several people' or change to 'my friends' for consistency. Also remove unnecessary filler words. Use plural 'friends' if referring to multiple friends.

× I have borrowed, uh, my, uh, money from my sister for my fees and uh, I have to give it back to her in a few.

✓ I borrowed the money from my sister to pay my fees, and I have to give it back to her in a few days.

Tense and article issues: 'have borrowed' is acceptable, but context and 'in a few' is incomplete. Use simple past 'borrowed' if the borrowing is a completed action, and use 'the money' not 'my money' for clarity. Add 'days' after 'in a few' to complete the time expression. Also streamline fillers.

× Yeah, I have a land money move to my friend to Char for his fees and he has not returned me the money yet.

✓ Yeah, I lent money to my friend Char for his fees, and he has not returned the money to me yet.

Multiple errors: 'a land money move' is incorrect word order and choice. The correct verb is 'lent' (past of 'lend'). Place the recipient name after the verb: 'lent money to my friend Char'. Also correct object pronoun placement: 'returned the money to me' (not 'returned me the money'). Keep present perfect 'has not returned' to indicate an action not completed up to now.