Traffic— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but lacks clarity and coherence. Try to start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific details using linking words to improve flow. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors to sound more natural.

例: Yes, there are quite a few crosswalks near where I live. For example, I can see about four crosswalks within walking distance. This is helpful because although my area isn't very busy, the city is growing rapidly, so these crosswalks help people move around safely.

提案: Your response is somewhat unclear and incomplete. To improve, give a direct answer first, then explain your reasons clearly using linking words. Make sure your sentences are complete and avoid repetition to enhance naturalness and effectiveness.

例: At the moment, I wouldn't change anything about the traffic in my area. However, I expect that in the future, changes might be necessary because the population is increasing rapidly. As the area grows, traffic congestion could become a problem that needs to be addressed.

× London is expanding and very busy city amid growing more and more each day.

✓ London is an expanding and very busy city, growing more and more each day.

The original sentence lacks the article 'an' before 'expanding and very busy city', which is necessary because 'city' is a singular countable noun. Also, 'amid growing more and more each day' is awkward; rephrasing to 'growing more and more each day' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× So definitely there are.

✓ So definitely, there are.

A comma after 'definitely' improves clarity. The phrase 'there are' is incomplete without an object; however, in context, it refers to crosswalks, so it's acceptable but better to be explicit for clarity.

× If I remember correctly there are 4 crosswalks near the place I live and the place I live is not that busy either.

✓ If I remember correctly, there are 4 crosswalks near the place where I live, and the place where I live is not that busy either.

Adding 'where' clarifies the location. Also, a comma after 'correctly' improves sentence flow. The plural 'crosswalks' is correct here.

× So it is definitely a great thing for a city whose small but growing for people to connect.

✓ So it is definitely a great thing for a city that is small but growing for people to connect.

The phrase 'whose small but growing' is incorrect; 'whose' is a possessive pronoun and does not fit here. Replacing it with 'that is' correctly introduces the relative clause describing the city.

× I don't think I'd like to change anything at this time, though I do predict in the future it's going to be my answer would be changed just because the population is really driving towards the area where I live in in London.

✓ I don't think I'd like to change anything at this time, though I do predict that in the future my answer will change because the population is really moving towards the area where I live in London.

The original sentence is convoluted and contains redundancy ('it's going to be my answer would be changed'). Simplifying to 'my answer will change' is clearer. Also, 'driving towards' is better expressed as 'moving towards' in this context. Removed duplicate 'in'.

× Definitely there's a need for.

✓ Definitely, there's a need for change.

The phrase 'there's a need for' is incomplete without an object. Adding 'change' completes the thought and makes the sentence grammatically correct.