Traffic— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite long and somewhat unfocused. Try to answer the question directly first, then add a specific detail. Also, avoid redundancy and incomplete sentences. For example, start by stating whether there are many crosswalks or not, then explain why.

例: There aren't many crosswalks around where I live because it's a hilly and quiet residential area in northern Sydney. Since it's less busy than the city, there isn't much need for many crosswalks.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but could be clearer and more natural. Avoid phrases like 'I don't have knowledge about traffic' which sound awkward. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons or examples.

例: I would change the traffic during school hours because it gets much busier then. For instance, the peak time can cause delays of up to 45 minutes, which is quite frustrating for drivers.

× I live in the northern side of Sydney Mount Cola which is a bit more of a hilly terrain and it's not crowded as much as city and it's more of a like a residential area so it's not that busy and.

✓ I live on the northern side of Sydney Mount Colah, which has a bit more hilly terrain. It's not as crowded as the city and is more like a residential area, so it's not that busy.

The phrase 'in the northern side' should be 'on the northern side' because we use 'on' with sides or surfaces. 'Sydney Mount Cola' is corrected to 'Sydney Mount Colah' assuming a proper noun. 'a bit more of a hilly terrain' is better expressed as 'has a bit more hilly terrain' because 'terrain' is uncountable and does not take 'a'. 'not crowded as much as city' should be 'not as crowded as the city' to correctly compare. 'more of a like a residential area' is corrected to 'more like a residential area' to remove redundancy and incorrect phrasing. The sentence was also split for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I don't have knowledge about traffic, but if I could change something, I would probably change the traffic in school time because when you're driving in the school time, it's really gets busier.

✓ I don't have much knowledge about traffic, but if I could change something, I would probably change the traffic during school time because when you're driving at school time, it really gets busier.

'I don't have knowledge about traffic' is better as 'I don't have much knowledge about traffic' for naturalness. 'in school time' should be 'during school time' to correctly express the time period. 'in the school time' is corrected to 'at school time' or 'during school time' for proper preposition use. 'it's really gets busier' is incorrect because 'it's' (it is) and 'gets' are redundant together; corrected to 'it really gets busier'.

× That's the peak time and it takes like 45 minutes.

✓ That's the peak time, and it takes about 45 minutes.

The sentence is mostly correct, but 'like 45 minutes' is informal; 'about 45 minutes' is more appropriate in formal speech. No past tense error here, but slight improvement for clarity and formality.