Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding redundancy and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words for coherence. For example, instead of repeating 'when I get bored' and 'when there is free time', you can combine these ideas. Also, use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar.

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping as one of my favourite hobbies besides travelling. Whenever I have some free time, I like to visit shopping malls to buy clothes or other items. Although I usually spend only a small amount, purchasing something new always makes me feel happy.

提案: Focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Begin with a direct answer, then explain your reason clearly using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and unclear phrases like 'vacanza expensive'. Use appropriate vocabulary to express cost-consciousness.

例: Yes, I am very cost-conscious when shopping. Therefore, I always compare prices carefully before buying anything to ensure it fits my budget. This helps me avoid unnecessary expenses and make wise purchases.

提案: Make your answer more structured and fluent by reducing hesitation and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Also, complete your sentences fully to avoid confusion.

例: Sometimes, I find it difficult to make choices when shopping, especially in large malls with many options. In such cases, I usually call a friend for advice to help me decide which item to buy.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity by using correct grammar and linking words. Begin with a clear opinion, then support it with specific examples. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases.

例: I don't believe that expensive products are always better. In fact, I have often found good quality items in small street shops that are cheaper than those sold in malls, which tend to be more expensive without necessarily offering better quality.

× Yes, I like shopping very well.

✓ Yes, I like shopping very much.

The phrase 'very well' is used to describe ability or skill, but here the student wants to express a strong liking, so 'very much' is appropriate.

× I just simple go to shopping mall to purchase some goods, some clothes.

✓ I just simply go to the shopping mall to purchase some goods, some clothes.

The adverb 'simple' is incorrect here; the correct adverb form is 'simply'. Also, 'shopping mall' needs the definite article 'the'.

× I just simple go to shopping mall to purchase some goods, some clothes.

✓ I just simply go to the shopping mall to purchase some goods, some clothes.

In English, 'shopping mall' is a countable noun and requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific place.

× that's more spending a small amount buy something I feel good.

✓ that's more about spending a small amount to buy something I feel good about.

The sentence lacks prepositions 'about' and 'to' which are necessary to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× He has I very much cost conscious.

✓ I am very much cost conscious.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'He has I' instead of the correct subject pronoun 'I' with the verb 'am'.

× I always check that twice, thrice before selecting any item because I want to purchase thing what my pocket can uh, afford.

✓ I always check twice or thrice before selecting any item because I want to purchase things that my pocket can afford.

The phrase 'purchase thing what' is incorrect; it should be 'purchase things that'. Also, 'that' is more appropriate than 'what' in this context.

× I don't want to make an extra vacanza expensive, so I always remain conscious.

✓ I don't want to make an extra expensive expense, so I always remain conscious.

The word 'vacanza' is incorrect here; likely a misuse or mispronunciation. The phrase should be 'extra expensive expense' or 'extra cost'.

× Yes uh, not always, but sometime when I uh go to a very good shopping mall where, where there is variety of goods or clothes, whatever I want to purchase at that moment, I got little confused in selection.

✓ Yes, not always, but sometimes when I go to a very good shopping mall where there is a variety of goods or clothes, whatever I want to purchase at that moment, I get a little confused in selection.

The word 'sometime' should be plural 'sometimes'. Also, 'variety' requires the article 'a'. 'Got' should be 'get' to maintain present tense, and 'little' should be 'a little'.

× At the moment I just uh called to my friend, he guide me and still to choose this one or.

✓ At that moment, I just called my friend; he guided me and helped me to choose this one.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and incorrect pronoun usage. 'Called to my friend' should be 'called my friend'. 'He guide me' should be 'he guided me'. The phrase 'still to choose this one or' is incomplete and corrected for clarity.

× I am not uh hold this feeling that expensive for a good quality that many times I have come across course where available in the street and small shop they are having good and excellent quality.

✓ I do not hold the feeling that expensive products are always of good quality; many times I have come across goods available in the street and small shops that have good and excellent quality.

The sentence has incorrect verb forms and pronoun usage. 'I am not uh hold' should be 'I do not hold'. 'Course where' is unclear and corrected to 'goods available'. Also, plural forms and articles are corrected.

× Then the product available in malls I feel they are only expensive.

✓ Then the products available in malls, I feel, are only expensive.

The singular 'product' should be plural 'products' to match the context. Commas are added for clarity.