Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (like, you know), verb form errors, and awkward phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so).

例: Yes, I really enjoy shopping. I find it relaxing because trying on new clothes helps me discover styles that suit me, and as a result I feel more confident. Therefore, shopping has become an important part of my routine.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then one clear reason with specific detail. Correct casual speech and repetition (e.g., 'cause). Use linking words (however, because) and more precise vocabulary (habit, priority).

例: Not usually. I don't compare prices every time because my main focus is finding something I like, but I plan to make price comparison a habit in the future because it will help me save money and choose better value items.

提案: Answer directly and give one specific contrast with clear grammar. Replace vague phrases ('head opinion', 'I really can't go and have a lot of things') with precise descriptions. Use linking words (for example, whereas, however) to show contrast.

例: It depends. When I'm shopping with my family, especially my mother, I often ask for her opinion and that strongly influences my choices; whereas when I'm alone I take more time and sometimes end up buying many different items because I struggle to decide.

提案: Provide a clear opinion first (no/it depends), then give a specific example and reason. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid vague words like 'stuff' and fillers. Use linking words (for example, however, in contrast) to structure the answer.

例: I don't think so; it depends on the product. For items like watches or running shoes, a reputable brand often means better durability and performance, but for everyday items such as kitchen utensils, cheaper alternatives can be just as good.

× It's like my personal therapy, not just because like trying on new clothes or go like store by store, it's really relaxing, but because it's makes me gain confidence every time I were like new looks.

✓ It's like my personal therapy, not just because I enjoy trying on new clothes or going from store to store; it's really relaxing, and it makes me gain confidence every time I try new looks.

Multiple problems: incorrect use of conjunctions and sentence structure (ID 16 and 26). 'not just because like trying' is ungrammatical — a subject and verb are needed ('I enjoy trying'). 'go like store by store' should be 'going from store to store' (gerund after 'because' and correct preposition). 'because it's makes me' has an extra auxiliary 's' — use 'it makes me'. 'every time I were like new looks' has wrong tense and structure; correct is 'every time I try new looks'. Suggestion: simplify clauses, supply subjects, use gerunds after 'because', and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct tense.

× So for me shopping, it's really indispensable on my routine.

✓ So for me, shopping is really indispensable in my routine.

Incorrect use of preposition 'on' (ID 11). English uses 'in my routine' or 'in my daily routine'. Also comma needed after 'for me'. Suggestion: use 'in' for activities that are part of a routine.

× Well, I could do that if I have the opportunity, but it's not the first thing that comes to mind every time I go shopping.

✓ Well, I could do that if I had the opportunity, but it's not the first thing that comes to mind every time I go shopping.

Conditional/modal error (ID 4). The sentence mixes present conditional 'could' with present-tense 'if I have'; for a hypothetical use past tense in the if-clause: 'if I had the opportunity'. Suggestion: match conditional forms (could + if I had).

× So I hope to improve like this quality in the future because 'cause it will help me to save money and to buy better options, but right now it's not in my mind.

✓ So I hope to improve this quality in the future because it will help me save money and buy better options, but right now I don't think about it.

Problems with informal fillers and conjunctions (ID 16) and sentence structure (ID 26). Remove filler 'like' and redundant 'to' after 'help me'. 'not in my mind' is unnatural; use 'I don't think about it'. Suggestion: remove filler words, streamline conjunctions, and use natural idiomatic phrases.

× Honestly it depends because when I'm with my family or specifically with my mom going out for some deals and shopping new clothes I usually ask for head opinion and that really influence on what I buy.

✓ Honestly, it depends, because when I'm with my family, or specifically with my mom, going out for deals and shopping for new clothes, I usually ask for her opinion and that really influences what I buy.

Multiple issues: punctuation and clause boundaries (ID 26), incorrect pronoun 'head' instead of 'her' (ID 12), and subject-verb agreement 'influence' should be 'influences' (ID 27). Also 'shopping new clothes' needs 'shopping for new clothes' (preposition use, ID 11). Suggestion: add commas to set off clauses, use correct pronouns, ensure verb agrees with singular subject, and use proper prepositions.

× But when I'm by myself I really can't go and have a lot of things.

✓ But when I'm by myself I really can't decide and end up buying a lot of things.

Unclear sentence structure and wrong verb selection (ID 26). 'can't go and have a lot of things' is unidiomatic. Likely intended meaning is difficulty deciding leading to buying many items. Suggestion: rephrase using clear verbs like 'decide' and 'end up buying'.

× It would definitely depends not just on the brand but the electronic or the specific tool stuff that you're looking for.

✓ It definitely depends not just on the brand but also on the electronics or the specific tool you are looking for.

Modal/verb agreement and preposition issues (ID 4 and 11). 'It would definitely depends' mixes conditional 'would' with present 'depends' and has wrong verb form; use 'It definitely depends'. Include 'also on' to parallel structure and use 'electronics' or 'electronic item' and remove 'stuff'. Suggestion: match modal/tense usage and use parallel prepositional phrases.

× For example on watches or specific like shoes it would be really important to buy brands no matter like the price, but in other stuff it doesn't even.

✓ For example, for watches or specific items like shoes it is really important to buy branded ones regardless of the price, but for other items it is not necessary.

Conjunction and sentence completion errors (ID 16 and 26). Problems: missing commas, awkward fillers 'like', incorrect phrase 'buy brands' (should be 'buy branded ones'), and incomplete clause 'it doesn't even' which is unclear. Suggestion: remove fillers, use 'branded ones' or 'name brands', and complete the contrast with 'not necessary'.