Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetition, and limit to 2–3 supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because” or “so”).

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping. I usually go to a small mall in my town once a week because it has a good variety of groceries and household items, so I can buy everything I need in one trip.

提案: Be clearer and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct answer then give two specific reasons joined with linking words (e.g., “because” and “therefore”). Use precise vocabulary like “budget” instead of “check on my pocket.”

例: Yes, I often compare prices because shops sometimes sell the same products at different rates, and I want good quality for a reasonable price. Therefore, I check both the price and the quality to stay within my budget.

提案: Provide a concise direct answer and avoid tense and pronoun errors. Use linking words to explain reasons and one clear example. Keep to 2–3 sentences and correct grammar (e.g., “she” instead of “he”).

例: Yes, I find it difficult to choose sometimes because my mother often thinks my taste is poor, so I usually shop with her and follow her advice about what suits me.

提案: Avoid absolute statements and be precise with language. Start with a balanced topic sentence (e.g., “Not always” or “Sometimes”), then give one specific reason and an example. Use clearer vocabulary like “durable” and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: Not always, but sometimes expensive products are better because they are made from higher-quality materials and tend to be more durable; for example, a well-made pair of shoes can last several years compared with cheaper ones that wear out quickly.

× Just do love shopping.

✓ I just do love shopping.

Subject pronoun 'I' is required at the start of the sentence. Without it the sentence is incomplete. Add 'I' to make a clear subject-verb structure and place 'just' before the verb phrase for natural word order.

× Uh, I often buy, buy things from a small shopping mall which is in my town and uh, I go to the, uh, go to the mall once a week to buy the grocery and the other things which I need and, and I do all my shopping from there.

✓ I often buy things from a small shopping mall in my town, and I go to the mall once a week to buy groceries and other things I need; I do all my shopping there.

Remove filler repetitions and redundant phrases for clarity and correct 'the grocery' to plural 'groceries'. Use commas and conjunctions to join clauses properly. 'Which is in my town' is simplified to 'in my town' for natural English. Avoid repeating 'go to the'.

× So I compare the quality and the price and I also have to check on my pocket.

✓ So I compare quality and price, and I also have to watch my budget.

'Check on my pocket' is not idiomatic in English. Use 'watch my budget' or 'check my budget' to express financial caution. Also omit the definite article before uncountable nouns 'quality' and 'price' when speaking generally.

× So sometimes you compare the price.

✓ So sometimes I compare prices.

The speaker should use first person 'I' not 'you' to describe their own actions. Use plural 'prices' when comparing multiple items or stores.

× Yes, every time when I shop, it was very difficult for me to choose because my choice is very bad according to my mom.

✓ Yes, every time I shop, it is very difficult for me to choose because my choices are not good, according to my mom.

Tense mismatch: use present tense 'is' to match 'every time I shop' (habit). 'Choice' should be plural 'choices' and use 'are not good' instead of 'is very bad'. Also 'according to my mom' is fine at the end.

× So uh, whenever I shop, I go with my mother and he uh, always tell me what to buy and what not and what suits me.

✓ So whenever I shop, I go with my mother and she always tells me what to buy and what not to buy, and what suits me.

Pronoun and agreement errors: 'he' is incorrect for 'mother' so use 'she'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'she always tells' (third person singular). Add 'to buy' after 'what not' for completeness.

× So I always uh buy things according to her choice.

✓ So I always buy things according to her choices.

Use present simple 'buy' for habitual action (already present). 'Choice' should be plural 'choices' to match 'things' and sound natural.

× Yes, sometimes the expensive products are better than the cheaper ones because they use the material of the good quality and it remains for years as compared to the cheaper ones which have to be replaced after every year.

✓ Yes, sometimes expensive products are better than cheaper ones because they use good-quality materials and last for years compared with cheaper ones, which may need to be replaced every year.

Use plural or uncountable forms correctly: 'good-quality materials' instead of 'the material of the good quality'. Use 'last' (verb) instead of 'it remains'. 'Compared with' is the proper phrase. 'After every year' is better expressed as 'every year' and avoid unnecessary articles.