Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer provides relevant information but contains some language inaccuracies and redundancy. Try to use correct job titles and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, keep your answer concise and natural by limiting it to 3-4 sentences.

예시: I work as a project technologist at an environmental consulting company. My job involves handling hazardous materials and preparing reports. I find this work quite interesting and enjoy the challenges it brings.

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains filler words. Try to organize your ideas clearly and avoid hesitation sounds. Also, provide specific details about your workplace and use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: I usually work from home, especially when there are no company activities planned. However, our main office is located in Edmonton, near Show Park, where I sometimes go for meetings and teamwork.

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by using more natural expressions and linking words. Also, avoid repeating phrases like '100% good place' and try to vary your vocabulary.

예시: It's mostly a good place to work, although my two cats sometimes distract me by jumping on my desk. Apart from that, I find working from home very comfortable and convenient.

제안: Your answer shows your opinion but has some grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your points logically.

예시: I like working from home because it makes me feel comfortable. For example, I can easily grab a snack when I'm hungry, and I enjoy spending time with my cats during breaks.

제안: Your answer provides a clear plan but could be improved by correcting grammar and using linking words to make it more coherent. Also, explain abbreviations like 'APN' for clarity.

예시: I plan to work for two to three years while gaining more training and certifications. Ultimately, I aim to become an APN, which will help me earn a promotion within the company.

× My works involve assembling some hazardous materials and writing reports.

✓ My work involves assembling some hazardous materials and writing reports.

The word 'work' is an uncountable noun in this context and should not be pluralized as 'works'. Also, the verb should agree with the singular subject 'work', so 'involves' is correct.

× Actually, I work as a projective, a project technologist in an environmental consulting company.

✓ Actually, I work as a project technologist in an environmental consulting company.

The word 'projective' is incorrect here and seems to be a mistaken word. The correct job title is 'project technologist'. Removing 'projective' clarifies the sentence.

× I work from home because sometimes, uh, when we don't have any plans, company activities, uh, we just stay at home, prepare our proposal and draft.

✓ I work from home because sometimes, when we don't have any plans or company activities, we just stay at home and prepare our proposals and drafts.

The phrase 'plans, company activities' lacks a conjunction; 'or' is needed to connect the items. Also, 'proposal' and 'draft' should be plural to match the context of multiple documents. Adding 'and' before the last item improves sentence flow.

× But I would say I have, we have a base office in Edmonton, just need in the show park.

✓ But I would say we have a base office in Edmonton, just near the Show Park.

The phrase 'just need in the show park' is incorrect. It should be 'just near the Show Park' to indicate location. Also, 'Show Park' should be capitalized as a proper noun.

× I was saying not 100% a good place to work because I have two cats in my home.

✓ I would say it's not 100% a good place to work because I have two cats at home.

The phrase 'I was saying' is awkward here; 'I would say' is more appropriate for expressing opinion. Also, 'in my home' is better expressed as 'at home' in this context.

× Sometimes when you focus on your work they just suddenly jump on the desk and try to distract you from the work.

✓ Sometimes when you focus on your work, they just suddenly jump onto the desk and try to distract you from your work.

The preposition 'on' should be 'onto' to indicate movement onto the desk. Also, 'the work' should be 'your work' to specify whose work is being distracted from.

× So except this reason, I would say it's totally 100% good place.

✓ So except for this reason, I would say it's a totally 100% good place.

The phrase 'except this reason' should be 'except for this reason'. Also, 'a totally 100% good place' is more natural with the article 'a' before 'totally'.

× I like it because you know, working at home make few make me feel very comfortable.

✓ I like it because, you know, working at home makes me feel very comfortable.

The verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'working'. The phrase 'make few make me' is incorrect and should be removed.

× Especially when you feel hungry.

✓ Especially when you feel hungry,

This is a sentence fragment. It should be connected to the following sentence or completed to form a full sentence.

× You can definitely try to find some snacks to eat and when you want to pass your cat, it's very easy so.

✓ You can definitely find some snacks to eat, and when you want to pet your cat, it's very easy too.

The phrase 'try to find' is unnecessary; 'find' is sufficient. 'Pass your cat' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'pet'. The word 'so' at the end is awkward and should be replaced with 'too'.

× My I plan to work two to three years and try to get more trainings and certificates as much as I can, and the final goal is to become APN and then I can get some great promotion within the company, for example.

✓ I plan to work for two to three years and try to get more training and certificates as much as I can. My final goal is to become an APN so that I can get some great promotions within the company, for example.

The phrase 'My I plan' is incorrect; it should be 'I plan'. 'Work two to three years' needs the preposition 'for'. 'Trainings' is uncountable and should be 'training'. 'Promotion' should be plural 'promotions' to match 'some'. Also, the sentence is long and should be split for clarity.