Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question (e.g., "I'm currently not working; I'm planning to continue my studies"). Then add one or two specific supporting details (where and what you plan to study) using linking words like "because" or "so". Keep it concise and natural, avoid awkward phrasing such as "I have a plan" — say "I plan" or "I'm planning."

예시: I'm currently not working; I'm planning to study abroad. For example, I hope to enroll in an engineering program in Canada next year because it offers strong practical training and scholarship opportunities.

제안: Answer directly and simply: say where and what you do in one sentence, then give one clear specific reason or example. Use correct grammar (e.g., "I'm giving free tuition to disadvantaged students in my neighborhood") and avoid confusing phrases like "make variation in my thinking style to word a profession." Use linking words such as "and" or "which" to connect ideas.

예시: I give free tuition to disadvantaged students in my neighborhood. This work helps me improve my teaching skills and gives me experience that supports my goal of becoming a professional teacher.

제안: Begin with a clear yes/no and reason: "Yes, it's a good place to work because..." Then give one specific example of an opportunity or facility. Avoid vague or awkward wording like "provided by lawmaker" — say "local authorities" or "the government." Keep it to two or three sentences max.

예시: Yes, it's a good place to work because the local authorities provide training and resources for teachers. For instance, the council offers regular workshops and access to teaching materials that help me improve my classroom skills.

제안: Give a direct statement and one or two specific supporting reasons. Use more natural phrases ("clean" instead of "clear") and tighten sentences to avoid redundancy. Use linking words like "because" and "for example."

예시: Yes, I like the place where I work because it's clean, well organized and close to public transport, so my commute is easy. For example, the quiet study space and friendly volunteers help me concentrate and feel supported.

제안: Answer with a clear topic sentence about your plan ("I plan to become a teacher and work locally"). Then give one or two concrete details (what subject, where, or specific opportunities like training or equipment). Avoid repetitive or awkward phrases ("I usually like to go along"). Use linking words such as "because" and "for example."

예시: I plan to become a teacher and work in my local community after graduation because schools here offer professional development and modern teaching equipment. For example, many schools have recently received interactive whiteboards and teacher training programs that I want to join.

× Recently I've completed my senior secondary education.

✓ I recently completed my senior secondary education.

The original mixes present perfect with 'recently' which is possible but the rest of response uses simple past context; using simple past 'completed' places the action as a finished event and is more natural here. Also position of 'recently' is more typical before the verb. Suggestion: use 'I recently completed...'.

× Now I have a plan to go abroad for further education.

✓ Now I plan to go abroad for further education.

Using 'have a plan' is unnatural; simple present 'plan' expresses intention. Also 'have a plan' can be used but 'I plan' is more concise and idiomatic. Keep present tense to indicate current intention.

× Nowadays I'm giving free tuition classes to poor students in my living area.

✓ Nowadays I give free tuition classes to poor students in my neighborhood.

'Giving' is grammatically acceptable, but 'give classes' (simple present) describes a regular activity; 'in my living area' is unnatural -- 'neighborhood' is correct. Use simple present for habitual actions.

× With the help of this skill, I'm not improving my teaching skill but also make variation in my thinking style to word a profession of teacher.

✓ With the help of this experience, I'm not only improving my teaching skills but also changing my thinking about the profession of teaching.

Several issues: 'not only... but also' structure was incorrect; verb forms must match ('not only improving... but also changing'). 'Skill' is unclear; 'experience' or 'work' fits better. 'Make variation in my thinking style to word a profession of teacher' is ungrammatical; 'changing my thinking about the profession of teaching' is clear. Also plural 'skills'.

× Definitely my hometown is good place to work because many opportunities are provided by lawmaker to make my life easier and convenient.

✓ Definitely my hometown is a good place to work because many opportunities are provided by lawmakers to make life easier and more convenient.

Missing article 'a' before 'good place'. 'Lawmaker' should be plural 'lawmakers' or 'the government'. 'My life' can be 'life' in general; 'more convenient' pairs with 'easier'. Use plural or definite forms consistently.

× I think that I'm enjoying my current life and in the future I will get much more opportunity to improve my work efficiency.

✓ I think I enjoy my current life and in the future I will have many more opportunities to improve my work efficiency.

'I'm enjoying' is acceptable, but simple present 'I enjoy' is more natural with 'I think'. 'Opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' and 'will have' is more natural than 'will get' here. Keep tense consistency.

× Yes, I generally like the place where I work because it is clear and well organized and conveniently located near public transport, which makes my commute easy.

✓ Yes, I generally like the place where I work because it is clean and well organized and conveniently located near public transport, which makes my commute easy.

'Clear' is incorrect adjective for workplace condition; 'clean' is appropriate. Sentence otherwise acceptable; minor word choice correction.

× For example, having a quiet workplace and friendship helps me concentrate and feel supported.

✓ For example, having a quiet workplace and good relationships with colleagues helps me concentrate and feel supported.

'Friendship' alone is vague; 'relationships with colleagues' or 'friendships at work' is clearer. Maintain subject-verb agreement: the singular idea 'having... helps' is fine. Improve lexical choice to be natural.

× In the future, I like to work in my living area and choose my profession as a teacher because there are many opportunities which are provided by authorities to the teachers.

✓ In the future, I would like to work in my local area and choose teaching as my profession because there are many opportunities provided by the authorities for teachers.

'I like to' should be 'I would like to' to express future desire. 'Living area' is unnatural; 'local area' works. 'Choose my profession as a teacher' should be 'choose teaching as my profession'. Relative clause 'which are provided by authorities to the teachers' is awkward; use 'provided by the authorities for teachers'.

× For example, new electronic gadgets are provided for the teachers.

✓ For example, new electronic gadgets are provided to teachers.

'The teachers' unnecessarily definite; 'teachers' is general. 'Provided to teachers' is more natural. Tense 'are provided' is acceptable if referring to ongoing provision.

× In the upcoming time, I usually like to go along with this profession.

✓ In the future, I would like to pursue this profession.

'In the upcoming time' is unnatural; use 'in the future'. 'Usually like to go along with' is incorrect for expressing intention—use 'I would like to pursue'. Keep tense and modality appropriate for future plans.