Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct grammar (use present perfect / simple), and provide a clear topic sentence then one supporting detail. Avoid unnecessary hesitation words. For example, say whether you currently work or study, then briefly mention past student jobs if relevant.

예시: I work full-time now as a designer. When I was a student I used to do part-time jobs to support myself, such as working in a café and freelancing on small design projects.

제안: Fix tense errors and be specific about roles and timeline. Start with a clear topic sentence (where you work), then give concise supporting details using linking words. Avoid saying you don't know — instead describe your colleague's role if unsure say 'he handles business development'.

예시: I mainly work from home as a freelance designer. However, a few months ago a friend and I set up an advertising company: I design the visuals while he manages client relations and the business side.

제안: Answer directly then give one or two concrete reasons. Remove fillers (uh) and correct phrasing like 'creativity and others'. Use linking words (because, so) to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, it's a good place to work because we have a friendly atmosphere and clear division of tasks. Since I don't have to manage the business, I can concentrate on creative work and improve my design skills.

제안: Be more fluent and avoid repetition and hesitations. Start with a direct statement about whether you like it, then give specific benefits using linking words. Watch prepositions ('in an office') and eliminate filler words.

예시: Yes, I like working from home because it gives me flexibility. For example, I can set my own hours, take breaks when needed, and avoid commuting, which helps my productivity.

제안: Provide a clear plan with one or two specific steps and use correct grammar (capitalization, 'master's degree'). Use linking words to show purpose (so, in order to). Mention a timeline or concrete actions to sound more convincing.

예시: I plan to become a creative director, so I'm going to continue my studies and pursue a master's degree in design. At the same time, I will gain leadership experience by taking on project management roles at my company over the next two years.

× Well I'm graduated and I'm working full time now, but I used to get part time jobs when I was a student too.

✓ Well, I've graduated and I'm working full time now, but I used to get part-time jobs when I was a student too.

Error: incorrect verb form and sentence flow. 'I'm graduated' is incorrect in English because 'graduate' is typically used in the present perfect passive or active sense: 'I graduated' (simple past) or 'I've graduated' (present perfect). Using 'I'm graduated' confuses the adjective/verb forms. Also add hyphen in 'part-time'. Suggestion: use 'I've graduated' to show a completed action relevant to the present, or 'I graduated' if you refer to a specific past time. Add a comma after 'Well' and hyphenate 'part-time'.

× Well, I'm a freelance designer so I work from home, but a couple of months ago my friend and I establish our own advertising company where I'm the graphic designer and he is doing something I don't know.

✓ Well, I'm a freelance designer so I work from home, but a couple of months ago my friend and I established our own advertising company where I'm the graphic designer and he does other things I'm not familiar with.

Error: wrong verb tense/form. 'Establish' should be past tense 'established' because the action happened 'a couple of months ago'. Also 'he is doing something I don't know' is awkward and ungrammatical; use 'he does other things I'm not familiar with' or 'he handles other tasks I don't know about'. Suggestion: use past tense for actions tied to a past time expression and rephrase for clarity.

× Yeah, we get along and I don't have to handle the business side so I can focus my time and energy, uh, and my creativity and others.

✓ Yeah, we get along and I don't have to handle the business side so I can focus my time, energy and creativity.

Error: pronoun/phrase 'and others' is vague and incorrect here. It seems the speaker intended to list things they can focus on. Remove 'others' and correctly list the nouns with commas and 'and'. Suggestion: keep the items parallel and concise: 'time, energy and creativity'.

× Well, I work from home, it gives me the flexibility and I don't like to be restricted at in an office and sit in a chair all day long.

✓ Well, I work from home; it gives me flexibility and I don't like being restricted in an office and sitting in a chair all day long.

Error: incorrect preposition and phrasing. Use 'in an office' not 'at in an office'. Also change 'it gives me the flexibility' to 'it gives me flexibility' (article optional) and use gerunds for parallel structure: 'being restricted' and 'sitting'. Suggestion: remove redundant article and fix preposition; use a semicolon or conjunction to properly join clauses.

× So it uh, lets me, uh, plan my schedule according to my needs.

✓ So it lets me plan my schedule according to my needs.

Error: minor issue with contraction and spelling. 'Lets' is correct but should be spelled 'lets' (no apostrophe). Remove filler 'uh' for clarity and fluency. Suggestion: say the sentence smoothly without fillers: 'So it lets me plan my schedule according to my needs.'

× Well I'm planning on becoming a creative director and in order to do that I need to get my masters degree so I'm planning on continuing my studies.

✓ Well, I'm planning to become a creative director and in order to do that I need to get my master's degree, so I'm planning to continue my studies.

Errors: infinitive form and punctuation. Use 'planning to become' (more natural than 'planning on becoming'). 'Masters degree' needs a possessive apostrophe: 'master's degree'. Use parallel structure 'planning to continue'. Suggestion: use 'planning to + verb' and correct possessive for academic degrees.