Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I recently finished my studies, so I’m working now.”). Avoid repetition and use correct verb tense and word forms. Add one brief detail about your job to make the answer complete.

예시: I recently finished my studies, so I’m working now. I started a job at a local salon last month, which I find enjoyable because it’s related to my training.

제안: Give a direct answer with correct vocabulary and clearer sentence structure. Use precise words (salon, not saloon) and avoid filler words. Provide one or two specific details such as the business name and what you do there.

예시: I work at a salon called The Glam Gallery. I’m a stylist there, and I enjoy it because I’m interested in beauty and hairdressing.

제안: Answer directly and organize reasons with linking words. Use clearer phrases to describe social benefits (e.g., “I meet many different people and learn about different cultures”). Limit to two clear reasons and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, it’s a good place to work because I meet many different people every day, and this helps me improve my communication skills. Also, learning about clients’ backgrounds is interesting and broadens my perspective.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and use parallel structure when listing skills. Be specific about what you learn and use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas. Correct grammar: “I like the place where I work” and “I can improve my skills in hairstyling, waxing and henna.”

예시: Yes, I like the place where I work because it helps me improve practical skills such as hairstyling, waxing and henna application. It also gives me many chances to practise and improve my communication with clients.

제안: Start with a clear statement about plans, use correct tense and avoid contradictions. If you don’t have detailed plans, say so and then state your long-term goal clearly: “My long-term goal is to open my own salon.” Add one specific step you’ll take toward that goal.

예시: I don't have detailed plans yet, but my long-term goal is to become an entrepreneur and open my own salon. To achieve this, I plan to gain more experience for two years and save money to fund the salon.

× 'Recently I done my study so I'm not I'm not a student so I do work.'

✓ 'I recently finished my studies, so I am not a student and I work.'

'Done' is the past participle but the speaker needed a simple past verb with appropriate auxiliary or a past simple form. Use "finished" or "have finished" plus correct noun form "studies". Also remove duplicate "I'm not" and use consistent present simple for employment: "I work.' Suggestion: Use "I recently finished my studies" or "I have recently finished my studies'.'

× 'So I work in Saloon, which name is the Glam gallery, and it's uh, beautiful place for me because I have, again, interest in Sloan.'

✓ 'I work in a salon called The Glam Gallery, and it is a beautiful place for me because I am interested in salon work.'

'in Saloon' should be 'in a salon' (correct noun and article). 'which name is the Glam gallery' is incorrect word order and article; use 'called The Glam Gallery'. 'have interest in Sloan' has spelling and preposition errors: "interested in salon work" is correct. Also 'salon' spelling and 'work' clarifies meaning.' Suggestion: Use articles and correct word order: "a salon called The Glam Gallery" and say "interested in salon work".'

× 'Yes, it's good place for my for work because there are in my to daily life, I communicate with another different kind of people and I get together with a different kind of person and I know every person culture as well as their own things.'

✓ 'Yes, it’s a good place to work because in my daily life I communicate with different kinds of people, I meet many people, and I learn about each person’s culture and personal preferences.'

'good place' needs the article 'a good place'. 'for my for work' is redundant and incorrect; use 'to work'. The phrase 'there are in my to daily life' is ungrammatical — use 'in my daily life'. 'another different kind of people' should be 'different kinds of people' or 'many different people'. 'get together with a different kind of person' is vague; use 'meet many people'. 'every person culture' needs possessive form: 'each person’s culture'. Suggestions: simplify sentences, use articles, correct plural forms, and possessives.'

× 'As I earlier mentioned, I like the place where I'm work, so I can enhance my more.'

✓ 'As I mentioned earlier, I like the place where I work, so I can improve my skills.'

'I'm work' is incorrect: use simple present 'I work' for habitual action. 'I can enhance my more' is ungrammatical — 'enhance' needs an object such as 'my skills' and 'more' is unnecessary. Suggestion: use 'improve my skills' or 'develop further'.'

× 'I can enhance more skill for hairstyling, waxing, henna and many more and I can enhance my communication skill with different kind of people.'

✓ 'I can further improve my skills in hairstyling, waxing, henna, and many other services, and I can improve my communication skills with different kinds of people.'

'enhance more skill' is incorrect collocation; use 'improve skills' or 'further develop skills'. List items need plural or 'services'. 'different kind of people' should be 'different kinds of people'. Suggestions: use parallel structure and correct plural forms: 'skills' and 'kinds'.'

× 'I didn't, I do not make any future work plans.'

✓ 'I did not make any future work plans.'

'Didn’t' is the past negative auxiliary; following it with 'I do not make' mixes tenses. Use past simple consistently: 'I did not make any future work plans' or present perfect: 'I have not made any plans'. Suggestion: choose appropriate tense and avoid repeating negatives.'

× 'So I wanted to become an I wanted to become an entrepreneur and I wanted to work my own saloon.'

✓ 'I want to become an entrepreneur and run my own salon.'

'Wanted' is past tense but speaker expresses a future ambition; use present 'want'. 'Work my own saloon' is incorrect collocation and spelling: use 'run' or 'own a salon' and correct 'salon'. Suggestion: use present tense for current desires: 'I want to become an entrepreneur and run my own salon.'