Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use articles, verb forms), and avoid redundancy. Keep within 2–3 sentences and add one specific detail about your studies. Use linking words only if adding details.

예시: I’m currently a student studying for a bachelor’s degree in English at a well-known university in my country. I’m in my second year and I’m focusing on literature and advanced writing skills.

제안: Make the answer more natural and fluent: give a direct topic sentence then one concise detail (location or hours). Use correct prepositions and reduce repetition (don’t repeat ‘where I live’ and ‘near my house’).

예시: I do a part-time job at a small restaurant about a ten-minute walk from my house. I usually work there on weekends and evenings serving customers.

제안: Avoid sentence fragments and finish thoughts. Give a clear reasoned answer with specific examples (benefits, atmosphere, training, tips). Use linking words like 'because' or 'and' correctly. Limit to 2–3 complete sentences.

예시: Yes, it’s a great place to work because the managers treat staff fairly and provide useful training. Also, the restaurant is busy so I earn good tips and learn how to handle customers.

제안: Make your answer grammatically correct and more concise. Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific reasons (friendly managers, teamwork, customer interaction). Avoid awkward phrases like 'staff mates' and 'servicing to the customer.'

예시: Yes, I really enjoy working there because the managers and staff are welcoming and supportive. I also like interacting with customers and improving my communication skills.

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct plan: state your goal, explain reasons briefly, and mention concrete steps you will take. Use correct noun forms and verbs (a teacher, dream job, secure my results, apply for teaching positions).

예시: In the future I want to become a teacher because I enjoy helping students learn and English is my major. After I graduate and get good grades, I plan to obtain a teaching certificate and apply for junior school teaching positions.

× Currently, I consider myself as a student who is pursuing bachelors degree from a reputed university in my country while my major is English.

✓ Currently, I consider myself a student who is pursuing a bachelor's degree at a reputed university in my country, and my major is English.

Use of 'as' after 'consider myself' is unnecessary; 'consider myself a student' is correct. 'bachelors' needs possessive apostrophe and singular form 'bachelor's degree'. Use the preposition 'at' for institutions. Replace 'while' with 'and' for clearer coordination of two facts.

× Actually I am a student, but in particular I do a part time job in a restaurant which is near my house, around 10 minutes walking distance from where I live.

✓ Actually I am a student, but I do a part-time job in a restaurant near my house, about a 10-minute walk from where I live.

Use the hyphenated adjective 'part-time'. Omit 'in particular' which is awkward here. Use 'near my house' without 'which is'. 'around 10 minutes walking distance' is ungrammatical; use 'about a 10-minute walk'.

× Absolutely. It's a very good place to work in my restaurant because it offers several benefits and. Also tips which I find really inspired and.

✓ Absolutely. It's a very good place to work because it offers several benefits and tips, which I find really inspiring.

Remove redundant 'in my restaurant' since context implies the restaurant. Sentence had sentence fragments and incorrect conjunction placement. 'Inspired' should be the present participle 'inspiring' to describe tips as giving inspiration. Combine clauses into one coherent sentence and remove the stray 'and.'

× Of course I enjoy the place where I work is a restaurant and the managers and all the staff mates are very welcoming and I enjoy servicing to the customer with good behavior and also providing a good service.

✓ Of course I enjoy the place where I work; it's a restaurant, and the managers and all the staff are very welcoming. I enjoy serving customers politely and providing good service.

Original contains run-on sentence and incorrect phrase 'staff mates'. Use 'staff' or 'colleagues'. 'Servicing to the customer' is incorrect; use 'serving customers'. 'With good behavior' is unnatural; use 'politely'. Split into two sentences for clarity.

× In the future, I would like to be an teacher because it's my dream jobs and I'm looking forward to securing my result and then I enroll that job.

✓ In the future, I would like to be a teacher because it's my dream job, and I'm looking forward to receiving my results so I can take that job.

Use 'a teacher' not 'an teacher' because 'teacher' begins with a consonant sound. Use singular 'job' for 'dream job'. 'Securing my result' is awkward; use 'receiving my results'. 'Enroll that job' is incorrect; use 'take that job' or 'accept that job'.