Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答需要更直接简洁，开篇用一句明确的主题句表明身份，然后用一到两句具体补充工作内容与感受，避免冗长重复。可以把信息分成简短句子并注意语法（例如已毕业用“graduated three years ago”），以及把“handling overseas product orders”说得更自然，如“managing overseas orders”。

예시: I'm working for a training company; I graduated three years ago. I manage overseas product orders, which involves coordinating shipments and communicating with international suppliers. I enjoy my job because it’s challenging and helps me improve my organizational skills.

제안: 回答结构不错，但可以更自然连贯，先给位置，然后补充细节并用连接词把信息组织起来。例如把居住情况与通勤时间合并，避免不必要的信息（如与父母同住可为次要补充）。

예시: I work in the Guamin district of Sedan City, which is only about a 15-minute drive from my home. Because I still live with my parents, the commute is very short and convenient.

제안: 回答分点很好，但要用更自然的连接词和更地道的表达。避免重复“the first/the second”多次，可使用“firstly/secondly”或合并为一句。增加具体例子（如主管如何支持）会更有说服力。

예시: Yes, it’s a good place to work. Firstly, the commute is very short and convenient. Secondly, I have a supportive working environment — for example, my supervisors give regular feedback and help me solve problems when orders are delayed.

제안: 句子不流畅且有语法错误（如“two reason”应为“two reasons”），最后一句未完成。要在一两句内给出清晰主题句并用具体细节支持，可说明通勤时间和同事间的具体互动。注意完整句子和准确时态。

예시: Yes, I do. There are two main reasons. First, the office is only a 15-minute ride from my home, so my commute is easy — I usually go by e-bike. Second, my colleagues are friendly and collaborative; we often help each other with difficult orders.

제안: 目标明确，但表达不够自然且有语法与逻辑问题（如“in this way can achieve my business skill in a higher level”不通顺）。应用一句主题句说明目标，接着用一到两句具体原因和计划（例如提升管理技能、目标培训或具体步骤）。

예시: I plan to become a sales team leader within the next year. I want to lead my own team to develop my management and negotiation skills, and I expect the role to increase my income. To prepare, I’m improving my communication skills and taking on small leadership tasks at work.

× I'm not a student, I already graduated from school about 3 years ago and currently I'm working for a training company handling overseas product orders and I like my job very much.

✓ I'm not a student. I graduated from school about three years ago, and currently I'm working for a training company handling overseas product orders. I like my job very much.

句子中时态使用不当且句子过长未用适当标点分隔。将现在完成/过去时明确为过去时（graduated 用简单过去），并用句号和逗号分隔从句，使句子更清晰易懂。建议将复合句拆分为更短的独立句。

× I work in Guamin district of Sedan City. The company is close to my home. I live with my parents. The commute is very short and convenient.

✓ I work in Guamin District of Sedan City. The company is close to my home, and I live with my parents. The commute is very short and convenient.

原文句子片段之间缺乏连贯连接，导致结构上显得零散。用连词连接相关句子提高流畅性。同时专有名词 District 应大写。建议把相关信息合并为连贯句子。

× Sure, for me it is a good place to work. The first is the commute is very short and convenient. The second is the relationship with my colleagues and supervisors. It's very nice. My supervisors always support my job.

✓ Sure. For me, it is a good place to work. First, the commute is very short and convenient. Second, my relationship with my colleagues and supervisors is very good. My supervisors always support my work.

原句中结构不够标准，使用“the first is”不自然，应使用序数词引出要点；“relationship with my colleagues and supervisors”需要完整述语；“support my job”习惯用法应为“support my work”。建议使用更自然的表达和正确的名词搭配。

× Yes, I like the place where I work. There are two reason. The first reason is that the place is very close to my home, which is convenient for my commute. I always drive, ride my E bike to the company about 15 minutes. The second is the relationship between colleagues is.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work. There are two reasons. The first reason is that the place is very close to my home, which is convenient for my commute. I always drive or ride my e-bike to the company; it takes about 15 minutes. The second is the relationship between colleagues.

原句“There are two reason.”中名词应为复数 reasons。第二句末尾不完整，应补全或改为名词短语。复合交通方式用 or 连接，并将 e-bike 小写或以连字符形式书写，说明所花时间用完整句子。建议注意主谓和名词单复数一致并避免句子残缺。

× My future work plan is to become a sales team leader in the next year. I really want to have my own sales team, in this way can achieve my business skill in a higher level, and the other hand is that my income.

✓ My future work plan is to become a sales team leader within the next year. I really want to have my own sales team; in this way I can improve my business skills to a higher level, and on the other hand, increase my income.

原句时态和结构不够准确。改用 within the next year 更自然；原句“in this way can achieve my business skill in a higher level”缺少主语并且搭配错误，应为“I can improve my business skills to a higher level”。“and the other hand is that my income”不完整且表达不自然，应为“on the other hand, increase my income”。建议补全主语，注意短语搭配和并列结构。