Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (e.g., “like”). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (role, start date, feeling). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and remove repetition.

예시: I am currently working as an intern at Nakuru Level 5 Hospital. I began the internship in July last year, so I have about seven months’ experience. I really enjoy it because I gain hands-on clinical skills and learn from experienced staff.

제안: Give a clear, fluent response without hesitations or repetition. Use correct names for departments and avoid false starts. Provide one specific detail about your role or what the department includes using linking words (e.g., “which includes”).

예시: I work at Nakuru Level 5 Hospital in Nakuru County. I am based in the mother and child department, which includes the maternity ward and the newborn unit, where I assist with patient care and basic procedures.

제안: Correct factual or word-choice errors (you said “Korea” likely meaning Nakuru) and give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” or “since”). Avoid vague terms like “very resourceful” without example.

예시: Yes, it is a good place to work because the hospital environment is well organized and supportive. For example, the staff are friendly and experienced, and I have access to training opportunities that help me improve my clinical skills.

제안: Provide a brief reason to support your opinion using a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”), and be specific about your future intention. Keep it to 1–2 sentences.

예시: Yes, I like working there because the colleagues are supportive and I am learning practical skills. I hope to continue working at the hospital after my internship ends.

제안: Avoid repetitions and unclear words (“VPN”). Give a clear topic sentence about your plan and one or two specific details (degree name, timeframe, reason). Use correct grammar (e.g., “My plan is to study for a master’s degree and work as a nurse”).

예시: My future plan is to go to Australia to study for a master’s degree in nursing and become an advanced practice nurse. I have wanted to study there since high school because of the strong clinical training and career opportunities.

× I've been working there for a period of like seven months.

✓ I've been working there for about seven months.

Use of 'for a period of like seven months' is informal and awkward. Replace 'a period of like' with 'about' for correct and natural phrasing; no past participle error beyond awkward phrasing but fits allowed list 9 because 'been working' uses past participle 'been' correctly; suggestion improves clarity.

× I work in Nakuru Level 5 hospital which is, which is located in Nakuru County.

✓ I work at Nakuru Level 5 Hospital, which is located in Nakuru County.

Preposition and sentence structure: use 'at' for workplaces and capitalize 'Hospital'. Remove the repeated phrase 'which is, which is' to avoid redundancy and use a comma before the relative clause for correct structure.

× I work, I work in uh, in child, in mother child department which comprises maternity and BU, uh. Gainard.

✓ I work in the Mother and Child Department, which comprises maternity and the baby unit.

Remove repetition and filler words. Use 'the' with department names and provide clear unit name 'baby unit' instead of unclear 'BU, uh. Gainard'. Ensure capitalization for department title and a comma before the relative clause.

× The environment and the climate in Korea is very conducive, and also the staff are very friendly and they're very resourceful.

✓ The environment and climate at the hospital are very conducive, and the staff are very friendly and resourceful.

Preposition: 'in Korea' is incorrect here if referring to the hospital; use 'at the hospital'. Subject-verb agreement: 'The environment and climate' is plural so use 'are' not 'is'. Remove redundant 'also' and contraction duplication for conciseness.

× Yes, I like the place where I work and I want to work after my internship.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work, and I want to continue working there after my internship.

Improve verb phrase to express intention: 'want to work after my internship' is understandable but 'continue working there after my internship' is clearer and matches present preference plus future intention.

× VPN My future plans My future plans is to go to Australia, do my masters in as practitioner and also work as a nurse.

✓ My future plans are to go to Australia to do my master's in nurse practitioner studies and to work as a nurse.

Multiple issues: remove stray 'VPN' and repeated phrase. Subject-verb agreement: use 'plans are' (plural). Use possessive 'master's' and the infinitive 'to do'; specify the program clearly 'nurse practitioner studies'. Use parallel infinitives 'to do ... and to work'.

× I've really admired going to Australia since I was in my high school.

✓ I've wanted to go to Australia since I was in high school.

'Admired going to Australia' is incorrect collocation. Use 'wanted to go' or 'have wanted to go' to express a long-standing desire. Also use 'in high school' not 'in my high school' for natural phrasing.