Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct tense and phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid filler noises (uh) and unnecessary repetition.

예시: I am working as a laboratory technician in a veterinary hospital; I have been there since 2013. I mainly process diagnostic tests sent from clinicians, which has helped me build practical skills in animal healthcare.

제안: Use a clear topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Correct grammar for roles and responsibilities (e.g., 'responsible for') and avoid vague phrases. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences.

예시: I work in the laboratory of a veterinary hospital. I am responsible for conducting various diagnostic tests, such as blood analyses and parasite checks, which I receive from veterinarians. As a result, I provide data that helps clinicians make accurate diagnoses.

제안: Answer directly, then support with specific reasons. Use smooth linking phrases (e.g., 'because', 'also') and avoid long hesitations. Finish thoughts—don't leave sentences incomplete.

예시: Yes, it is a great place to work because veterinary work has been my dream since childhood. I grew up around animals, so I enjoy caring for them, and working there allows me to combine my passion with hands-on experience.

제안: State your opinion clearly, then explain briefly with specific examples of challenges. Use linking words like 'however' to show contrast. Avoid unclear phrases like 'at the event' and correct sentence structure.

예시: Yes, I like my workplace, although it can be challenging at times. For example, obtaining accurate diagnoses can be difficult because samples are sometimes unclear, so I often need to run multiple tests to confirm results.

제안: Provide a clear, structured plan: state the goal, give concrete steps, and explain the purpose. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'scholarship', 'PhD', 'Europe', 'develop my skills') and avoid vague or incorrect phrases like 'examine the idols'.

예시: My main future plan is to study for a PhD in Europe on a scholarship. I hope to learn from experienced researchers to improve my diagnostic skills and develop better laboratory methods, so I can contribute more effectively to veterinary medicine.

× Actually I am working uh, since uh, 2013.

✓ Actually I have been working since 2013.

Use present perfect continuous (have been working) with since to show an action that started in the past and continues to the present. 'I am working since' is incorrect because 'am working' (present continuous) cannot be used with 'since' to indicate duration from a past point.

× I started working in veterinary hospital.

✓ I started working in a veterinary hospital.

The singular countable noun 'veterinary hospital' requires an article. Use 'a' because it is a nonspecific singular place.

× As I said before, a working in a veterinary hospital, uh, I also, I am responsible of them a laboratory.

✓ As I said before, I work in a veterinary hospital, and I am also responsible for the laboratory.

Remove incorrect article 'a' before 'working' and use correct verb 'I work'. Use 'responsible for' not 'responsible of them a laboratory'. Rearranged for clarity and correct preposition use.

× So I work inside the laboratory. I am responsible for doing different kind of them tests that I receive it from the other umm, OK, from.

✓ So I work in the laboratory. I am responsible for performing different kinds of tests that I receive from others.

Use 'in the laboratory' (more natural), 'performing' instead of 'doing' for formal register, 'different kinds of tests' (plural) and remove redundant pronouns 'them' and 'it'. Use 'from others' instead of unclear phrase.

× Well, that's a good question, if it's a good place to work as a veterinary.

✓ Well, that's a good question. If you ask whether it's a good place to work as a veterinarian,

Clarified 'veterinary' (adjective) to 'veterinarian' (noun). Split into two clauses to fix run-on and make the question conditional structure clear.

× Yeah, I will say definitely yes, because it's my dream, uh, from the elementary school, I build a, a strong, uh, connection with umm, uh, animals, uh, because I was living in the.

✓ Yes, I would definitely say so because it has been my dream since elementary school. I built a strong connection with animals because I was living in the countryside.

Use 'has been my dream since' (present perfect) to show a continuing state from childhood. 'Since elementary school' is correct time expression. 'I built' (past simple) to describe how the connection formed. Replaced incomplete phrase with 'in the countryside' as a plausible completion; adjust based on intended meaning.

× Yeah, I would say it's definitely I, I like the place that I'm working on it.

✓ Yes, I would definitely say I like the place where I work.

Remove redundant pronouns and incorrect extra 'it'. Use 'where I work' rather than 'that I'm working on it' for natural English.

× Uh, although I am facing everyday challenges and difficulties, uh, in some kind of umm, aspect of the working because it's hard.

✓ Although I face everyday challenges and difficulties in some aspects of the work because it is hard.

Use simple present 'I face' for habitual situations. Change 'aspect of the working' to 'aspects of the work' for correct noun phrase.

× I and I needed an accurate diagnosis, but it's umm, at the event.

✓ I need accurate diagnoses, but sometimes they are difficult to obtain.

Use present tense 'need' to match current situation and plural 'diagnoses' for general meaning. Replaced unclear phrase 'at the event' with a clear expression 'they are difficult to obtain'.

× The reason I am here, it's a part of my future plan as you know, because I get an scholarship to study my PhD in the Europe, so I must examine the idols and my future plan it's to get a high education from the experienced people to development my work and in the future.

✓ The reason I am here is that it is part of my future plan: I received a scholarship to study for my PhD in Europe. My plan is to gain advanced education from experienced people to develop my work in the future.

Corrected sentence structure and tenses: use 'is that' for explanation, 'received' (past) for obtaining the scholarship, 'study for my PhD in Europe' (no article before 'Europe'), 'gain advanced education' and 'develop my work' for natural phrasing. Removed unclear 'examine the idols' and replaced with intended meaning.