Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and redundant phrases, start with a clear topic sentence, and add one specific detail about duties or responsibilities. Keep answer within 2–4 sentences and use linking words if adding details.

예시: I work as a small animal veterinarian in a busy first-opinion practice. We are a team of four vets and mainly treat cats and dogs, though we also see rabbits and guinea pigs. I mainly handle routine check-ups and basic surgeries, which gives me a lot of hands-on experience.

제안: Avoid repeating information and filler words. Begin with a direct answer, then give one or two specific supporting details (location and role) using linking words like 'and' or 'but' for coherence.

예시: I work at a small animal first-opinion practice about 30 minutes from the city where I live. It’s a quiet area, and although there are four other vets, I’m the only full-time clinician.

제안: Be concise and confident: give a clear topic sentence stating your view, then explain reasons with specific examples. Replace hesitations with linking phrases like 'because' and 'for example.'

예시: Not really — I find it limiting because my manager offers little supervision and support for my development. For example, I’ve asked for more mentoring and opportunities for continuing education, but these requests haven’t been met.

제안: Start with a balanced topic sentence and avoid repetition. Use linking words to contrast positives and negatives, and provide a specific example of what you like and what’s missing.

예시: I do like my workplace because the colleagues are friendly and the clinic environment is calm. However, because it’s a small first-opinion practice, there aren’t many opportunities for career progression or advanced training.

제안: Give a clear, confident plan with chronological linking words and one specific reason. Reduce fillers and state timeline or motivation succinctly.

예시: I plan to leave my current role and pursue further training in diagnostic imaging. First I hope to complete an internship, then a fellowship, and eventually a residency so I can specialize and advance my career.

× I'm a small animal veterinarian who is working in a busy first opinion practice.

✓ I'm a small animal veterinarian who works in a busy first-opinion practice.

Use the simple present 'works' rather than the present participle 'is working' because this describes a regular, habitual job rather than a temporary ongoing action. Use a hyphen in 'first-opinion' as a compound adjective before a noun.

× Umm, it is only a small practice with four veterinarians.

✓ Umm, it is only a small practice with four veterinarians.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. The noun 'practice' is singular and agrees with 'it'.

× Umm, we focus on small animals, umm like cats and dogs mainly, but also sometimes Guinea pigs or umm rabbits.

✓ Umm, we focus on small animals, like mainly cats and dogs, but also sometimes guinea pigs or rabbits.

The main verb 'focus' is correctly in simple present for habitual action. Adjusted word order for natural phrasing and lowercased 'guinea pigs' and 'rabbits' because common nouns should be lowercase.

× Like I already said, in a small animal umm, first opinion practice.

✓ As I already said, I work in a small-animal, first-opinion practice.

Sentence fragment corrected to a full sentence by adding the subject and verb. Use 'as' instead of 'like' for formal speech and hyphens for compound adjectives.

× It is 30 minutes away from the city where I live, but it's rather a quiet environment.

✓ It is 30 minutes from the city where I live, and it's a rather quiet environment.

Omit 'away' when using a time expression with 'minutes' and 'from' is sufficient. Use 'and' to connect positive clauses; 'rather a quiet environment' is more natural than 'but it's rather a quiet environment' here.

× Umm, There are umm, four other vets but I'm the only one working umm, who works full time umm, So yeah umm, the career umm.

✓ There are four other vets, but I'm the only one who works full time.

Remove redundant participle 'working' and restructure to 'the only one who works' for correct subject-verb agreement. Capitalization and extraneous fillers removed for clarity.

× To be honest, it's not such a good umm work environment because my boss is not that supportive of me umm, and of my umm, my needs, and because I want to get more supervision and he's not providing me umm such things.

✓ To be honest, it's not a very good work environment because my boss is not very supportive of me or of my needs, and he doesn't provide the supervision I want.

Replace 'such a good' with 'very good' for natural phrasing; simplify 'not that supportive of me and of my needs' to 'not very supportive of me or of my needs.' Use contraction consistency and change 'he's not providing me such things' to 'he doesn't provide the supervision I want' to be precise and grammatical.

× I also umm, want to do more professional development.

✓ I also want to do more professional development.

Remove filler 'umm' to make a clear sentence. The original verb form is correct (present simple for general desire).

× I like the place where I work because I like my colleagues and I like the people there and also the environment.

✓ I like the place where I work because I like my colleagues, the people there, and the environment.

Combine repeated 'I like' phrases for conciseness and use commas to list items correctly.

× But it's a rather small first opinion practice. So Darius not much opportunity to evolve and also for professor.

✓ But it's a rather small first-opinion practice, so there are not many opportunities to develop professionally or for further training.

Corrected fragment 'So Darius not much opportunity to evolve' which appears to be mispronounced; replaced with 'there are not many opportunities' to fix sentence structure and subject-verb agreement. 'Evolve' replaced by 'develop professionally' and clarified 'for professor' to 'for further training' to make sense.

× As I'm not really happy UMM with my work right now, I'm planning to quit my job and to umm go somewhere where I can evolve a little bit more.

✓ As I'm not really happy with my work right now, I'm planning to quit my job and go somewhere where I can develop a little more.

Removed filler 'UMM' and redundant 'to' before 'go.' Use 'develop' instead of 'evolve' for natural collocation in this context.

× Like I want to do an internship, a fellowship and then a residency so that I can specialize in one umm pathway.

✓ I want to do an internship, a fellowship, and then a residency so that I can specialize in one pathway.

Verb forms 'want to do' are correct; removed filler and added commas for list clarity.

× For me it's diagnostic imaging.

✓ For me, it's diagnostic imaging.

Added a comma after the introductory phrase for natural rhythm; the noun phrase 'diagnostic imaging' is correct.