Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: သင်၏အဖြေသည် သဘာဝအလှအပနှင့် ရာသီဥတုအပေါ် အာရုံစိုက်မှုရှိသော်လည်း စကားလုံးများအနည်းငယ် မမှန်ကန်ခြင်းနှင့် စာပိုဒ်တစ်ခုလုံးတွင် သဘာဝစကားလုံးအသုံးပြုမှုနည်းပါးသည်။ ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး တိကျသော စကားလုံးများကို အသုံးပြုရန်လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: My hometown is Chen State, located in western Myanmar. It is well-known for its beautiful natural landscapes and pleasant weather. Although it is a small town, the people enjoy a peaceful and friendly lifestyle.

제안: အဖြေတွင် အကြောင်းအရာများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် လိုအပ်ပြီး၊ စကားလုံးများနှင့် စကားပုံများကို ပိုမိုသုံးစွဲ၍ သဘာဝကျပြီး ဆက်လက်ဖတ်ရှုရန် လွယ်ကူစေရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: I like my hometown because of its beautiful natural scenery and the friendly people. Unlike big cities where people are often busy and less connected, in my hometown, neighbors know each other well and help one another.

제안: အဖြေသည် မပြည့်စုံပြီး စကားလုံးများ မမှန်ကန်ခြင်းများရှိသည်။ အကြောင်းအရာကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးအသုံးအနှုန်းများကို တိကျစွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: I have lived in my hometown for 19 years. I studied government subjects at UH for 16 years and graduated from high school. However, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I had to pause my studies temporarily.

제안: အဖြေတွင် သဘာဝကျသော စကားလုံးများကို အသုံးပြုရန်၊ စာပိုဒ်များကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများ မပြတ်တောက်စေရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: Honestly, although my hometown is beautiful and surrounded by nature, I think it offers fewer opportunities for young people compared to big cities. Therefore, I believe it is more suitable for older people who prefer a peaceful lifestyle.

× Even it is a small town, people have amazing lifestyle.

✓ Even though it is a small town, people have an amazing lifestyle.

The phrase 'amazing lifestyle' requires an article 'an' because 'lifestyle' is a singular countable noun. Also, 'Even' should be 'Even though' to correctly express contrast.

× In big cities we can have a natural landscape and also not have a good communication with our environment, our neighborhood.

✓ In big cities, we can have natural landscapes but do not have good communication with our environment and our neighborhood.

'A natural landscape' should be plural 'natural landscapes' to generalize. 'Not have a good communication' is incorrect; 'do not have good communication' is correct. Also, 'and' should be replaced with 'but' to show contrast.

× But in my hometown, all people live friendly.

✓ But in my hometown, all people live friendly lives.

'Live' is a verb and needs an adverb or a noun complement. 'Friendly' is an adjective; to modify 'live' properly, use 'live friendly lives' or 'live in a friendly way.'

× I have been living in my hometown for 19 years, 16 years for studying government subject UH and graduated from high school after that.

✓ I have been living in my hometown for 19 years. I studied government subjects at UH for 16 years and graduated from high school after that.

The original sentence is a run-on and unclear. It needs to be split into two sentences for clarity and correct tense usage.

× As the COVID pandemic break out, I had to quit and continue my study at.

✓ When the COVID pandemic broke out, I had to quit and continue my studies elsewhere.

'Break out' should be in past tense 'broke out' to match the past event. The sentence is incomplete; 'continue my study at' lacks an object, so 'elsewhere' is added for completeness.

× Honestly, even my hometown is beautiful and filled with natural.

✓ Honestly, even though my hometown is beautiful and filled with nature,

'Filled with natural' is incorrect; 'natural' is an adjective and needs a noun like 'nature' to complete the phrase. Also, 'even' should be 'even though' to express contrast.

× I don't like to spend my young times because there are less opportunity if I compare to big city.

✓ I don't like to spend my youth because there are fewer opportunities compared to big cities.

'Young times' is incorrect; 'youth' is the correct noun. 'Less' is used for uncountable nouns; 'fewer' is correct for countable nouns like 'opportunities.' 'Big city' should be plural 'big cities' to generalize.

× So I will prefer only for older people who want to have a peaceful lifestyle in a peaceful.

✓ So I would prefer it only for older people who want to have a peaceful lifestyle in a peaceful place.

'Prefer only for' is incorrect; 'prefer it only for' is correct. The phrase 'in a peaceful' is incomplete; it needs a noun like 'place' to complete the meaning.