Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer has some hesitation and redundancy, and the sentence structure is unclear. Try to give a clear and concise response with correct grammar and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: I'm from Shenzhen, a dynamic city in Guangdong province, southeast China. It is famous for its innovation, friendly people, and diverse cuisine.

제안: Your answer is incomplete and unclear, with many hesitations and grammatical errors. Try to organize your ideas clearly, use linking words, and provide specific details about what you like, such as facilities or services.

예시: I like several aspects of my hometown. Firstly, it has many convenient facilities, such as improved medical healthcare and good public transportation, which make life easier.

제안: Your answer is somewhat clear but contains grammatical mistakes and hesitations. Try to use correct tense and sentence structure, and avoid filler words. Provide a direct answer followed by supporting details.

예시: I have lived in Shenzhen for about 18 years. I went to university there for four years, and after graduation, I plan to return to Shenzhen.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your opinion clearly, use linking words, and provide specific reasons, such as job opportunities and social environment, while mentioning challenges like living costs.

예시: Yes, I think my hometown is a good place for young people because there are many job opportunities and chances to meet international friends. However, the living cost is quite high, which can be a challenge.

× Umm, I'm from Shenzhen, which is one of the uh, which is of dynamic city of uh, in Guangdong province, southeast China, and also is famous for innovation and their friendly friendly logos, also diverse cuisine.

✓ Umm, I'm from Shenzhen, which is one of the dynamic cities in Guangdong province, southeast China, and is also famous for innovation, its friendly locals, and diverse cuisine.

The phrase 'which is of dynamic city of' is incorrect. The definite article 'the' should be used before 'dynamic cities' to specify the group Shenzhen belongs to. Also, 'their friendly friendly logos' is likely a mishearing or typo; it should be 'its friendly locals' to refer to the people of Shenzhen. Additionally, 'cities' should be plural to match 'one of the'. The sentence structure is corrected to improve clarity and grammar.

× Umm, I just say there are several aspects I very, uh, obsessed with my own time.

✓ Umm, I would just say there are several aspects I am very obsessed with in my own time.

The original sentence lacks proper verb forms and prepositions. 'I very obsessed' is incorrect; it should be 'I am very obsessed'. Also, 'obsessed with my own time' is unclear; likely intended to express interest in certain aspects during their time. The sentence is corrected to include the verb 'am' and the preposition 'with' properly.

× Firstly is they have a lot of convenient facility like, umm, there are, there are an improvement, uh, uh, medical health care and also a lot of.

✓ Firstly, they have a lot of convenient facilities like improvements in medical health care and many others.

'Facility' should be plural 'facilities' because 'a lot of' refers to multiple items. 'There are an improvement' is incorrect; 'improvement' is singular and should not be preceded by 'there are'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I lived there just because I went to the university as a four year courses, and after this four year, I think I will back to the umm, the Shenzhen. So total, uh, 18 years.

✓ I lived there because I went to university for a four-year course, and after these four years, I think I will go back to Shenzhen. So in total, about 18 years.

'Went to the university as a four year courses' is incorrect; it should be 'went to university for a four-year course'. 'After this four year' should be 'after these four years' to match plural. 'I will back' is missing the verb 'go'. The sentence is corrected for proper past tense and future tense usage, and plural forms.

× And I think yes, because they have a lot of umm, different job occupations, which are also can communicate without international friends and they're about the living cost is high.

✓ And I think yes, because there are a lot of different job opportunities, where you can also communicate with international friends, although the living cost is high.

'They have' is vague; 'there are' is more appropriate for jobs. 'Job occupations' is redundant; 'job opportunities' is better. 'Which are also can communicate without international friends' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'where you can also communicate with international friends'. 'They're about the living cost is high' is incorrect; corrected to 'although the living cost is high' to express contrast properly.