Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and natural by combining sentences and avoiding repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence then add one specific supporting detail (e.g., location and accessibility). Use linking words sparingly to improve flow.

예시: My hometown is Iloilo in the Philippines, and I’ve lived there most of my life. It’s situated along a main road, so it’s very accessible and easy to travel from place to place.

제안: Avoid repeating the same idea (convenience/accessibility). Give one main point and then a specific example (e.g., types of transport or a nearby market) using a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: I like the convenience of my hometown because it has reliable jeepney and bus routes. For example, I can reach the main market and my workplace within 15 minutes, so daily errands are quick and stress-free.

제안: Avoid repetition (e.g., 'familiar' twice). Give a clear topic sentence with a concise time reference, then one or two specific supporting details about what makes it familiar (neighbors, shops, traditions).

예시: I’ve lived there for almost 30 years, basically since I was born. Because of that, I know most of my neighbors and many local shops, and I’m familiar with the area’s routines and festivals.

제안: Make the response smoother by using full sentences and linking words. Give specific examples of benefits for young people (schools, leisure activities, job opportunities) to strengthen your answer.

예시: Yes, I think it’s a good place for young people because public transport makes commuting to school or work easy. In addition, there are many shops, cafes and sport facilities nearby, so they have places to socialise and find part-time jobs.

× It is within the city named Iloilo.

✓ It is in the city of Iloilo.

Use 'in the city of' rather than 'within the city named' for natural English; 'within' is not wrong but 'in the city of Iloilo' is the usual phrasing and 'named' is unnecessary.

× which makes it quite accessible and I have lived most of my life there.

✓ which makes it quite accessible, and I have lived most of my life there.

This sentence needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. The error is a sentence punctuation/structure issue (26: Sentence structure errors) but it is corrected here by proper punctuation to join clauses.

× It is located along the main road which makes it quite accessible and I have lived most of my life there.

✓ It is located on the main road, which makes it quite accessible, and I have lived most of my life there.

Use 'on the main road' rather than 'along the main road' when describing location adjacent to a road in this context; add commas to set off the nonrestrictive relative clause for clarity.

× What I like about my hometown is the convenience it provides.

✓ What I like about my hometown is the convenience it provides.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Included to show no pronoun error.

× It has good transportation which allows for people to easily go from one place to another.

✓ It has good transportation, which allows people to travel easily from one place to another.

Move 'easily' after the verb phrase 'travel' for more natural adverb placement; remove 'for' after 'allows' and add commas to separate the nonrestrictive clause.

× which makes it doing errands easily on a daily basis.

✓ which makes doing errands easy on a daily basis.

Use the gerund phrase 'doing errands' followed by the adjective 'easy' (not 'easily') to describe how convenient it is; 'easily' would modify a verb, while 'easy' modifies the noun phrase 'doing errands.'

× I have lived there for almost 30 years, essentially since I was born, and because of that the neighborhood feels familiar, is quite familiar to me.

✓ I have lived there for almost 30 years, essentially since I was born, and because of that the neighborhood feels quite familiar to me.

Remove redundant clause 'is quite familiar to me' as it repeats 'feels familiar'; ensure tense remains present perfect for duration and present simple for current state.

× I have known my neighbors and at the same time I know most of the local shops there.

✓ I have known my neighbors, and at the same time I know most of the local shops there.

Add a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses; otherwise sentence is correct. This fixes punctuation connecting pronoun reference clarity.

× I can say that my hometown is a good place for young people.

✓ I can say that my hometown is a good place for young people.

Sentence is correct as written; included to show no change needed.

× Firstly, it offers good transportation which can help them. Go to school or work.

✓ Firstly, it offers good transportation which can help them get to school or work.

The original contains a sentence fragment 'Go to school or work.' Combine into one sentence and use 'get to' to express movement toward a destination.

× Secondly, there are a wide range of shops nearby making it easy for them to run there.

✓ Secondly, there is a wide range of shops nearby, making it easy for them to run errands there.

Use 'there is' with 'a wide range' (singular noun phrase) and include 'errands' for clarity; add a comma before the participial phrase 'making...'