Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は簡潔で直接的に行いましょう。現在・過去の情報を分けて話すと明瞭になります。文法ミス（“I heard deep tears”は不明瞭）や時制の一致（“I study English there”は過去の出来事なら過去形）を直してください。例：話の構成はトピック文（出身地）→経緯（いつまで住んだか）→現在の状況、の順にすると良いです。語彙は“move”や“attend university”“study English”など正確に使い、不要なフレーズは避けてください。

예시: I am from Ishikawa in Japan. I lived there until I was 18, and then I moved to Osaka to attend university. While I studied at university, I focused on learning English, and now I sometimes go back to visit my family.

제안: 質問に対して理由を明確に述べ、具体例を整理して述べましょう。語彙と文法の誤り（“they help see and mountain”は不明瞭、“swimming in sea”→“swimming in the sea”）を直してください。接続詞を使って理由と例をつなげ、各例を短い文で整理すると自然です。

예시: I like my hometown because it has both the sea and the mountains. For example, I often play golf and go swimming in the sea during summer. I also enjoy eating fresh seafood and hiking in the nearby mountains.

제안: 現在完了形と過去形の使い分けに注意してください。ここでは過去の期間について話しているので過去形を使う方が自然です。文を簡潔にし、時系列をはっきり示す接続語（“until”, “then”, “after”）を適切に使いましょう。余分な語を省き、文法ミス（“to for study English”）を直してください。

예시: I lived in my hometown until I was 18. After that, I moved to Osaka to attend university and study English. After I graduated, I moved back to my hometown to start working.

제안: 否定の答え方は簡潔にして、その後に明確な理由を述べましょう。短縮や口語表現は避けずに正しい形で答えてください（“No, it isn't”より“No, I don't think so”など）。“cafes”など複数形や冠詞も正しく使い、理由を2つくらいに絞って具体例を添えると説得力が増します。

예시: I don't think it's a great place for young people. There are few entertainment options, such as cafes, cinemas, or amusement parks, so young people may need to move to larger cities for more social activities.

× I heard deep tears until 18.

✓ I lived in Ishikawa until I was 18.

The original sentence uses 'heard' which is incorrect for describing residence. Use the verb 'live' in the past to express where you resided. Also add 'I was' for age reference. Suggestion: 'I lived in Ishikawa until I was 18.'

× After 18 I moved to Osaka to attend university and I study English there.

✓ After I was 18, I moved to Osaka to attend university and I studied English there.

The sentence mixes past ('moved') with present ('study'). Maintain past tense for completed actions in the past. Use 'studied' to match 'moved'. Add 'I was' for age clarity and a comma after the introductory phrase.

× I like my hometown because they help see and mountain.

✓ I like my hometown because you can see the sea and the mountains.

The use of 'they' is incorrect when referring to scenery. Use impersonal or general structures like 'you can' or refer to 'the sea' and 'the mountains' with articles. Also 'see' needed to be part of 'can see'.

× I like my hometown because they help see and mountain.

✓ I like my hometown because you can see the sea and the mountains.

Missing definite articles 'the' before 'sea' and 'mountains'. Use 'the' when referring to specific geographical features familiar to listener. Also corrected sentence structure as above.

× They have both so I enjoy golf, swimming in sea and eating seafood and I also enjoy hiking.

✓ It has both, so I enjoy golf, swimming in the sea, eating seafood, and hiking.

Mismatch between 'they' and singular 'hometown' — use 'it'. 'Sea' should be 'the sea' and include commas for list. Parallel structure: use gerunds consistently. Also add Oxford comma for clarity.

× I have lived in my hometown until 18.

✓ I lived in my hometown until I was 18.

Using present perfect 'have lived' with a finished time ('until 18') is incorrect. Use simple past 'lived' for an action completed in the past. Include 'I was' for age clarity.

× After 18 I moved to Osaka to attend university to for study English and then I moved back to my hometown after graduation to work.

✓ After I turned 18, I moved to Osaka to attend university to study English, and then I moved back to my hometown after graduation to work.

Remove unnecessary 'for' before 'study' and use 'to study' (infinitive). Add 'I turned' for age phrase and commas to separate clauses. Maintain past tense 'moved'.

× No, isn't.

✓ No, it isn't.

Fragment 'No, isn't.' lacks subject. Add subject 'it' to form a complete negative response. Alternatively say 'No, it isn't a good place.' for clarity.

× I don't think so, because we don't have much entertainment for young people such as cafe or amusement park and theater, so it's not good for young people to live.

✓ I don't think so, because we don't have many entertainment options for young people, such as cafes, an amusement park, or a theater, so it's not a good place for young people to live.

Use 'many' with countable plural 'options' and plural nouns 'cafes'. Add 'options' to collocate with 'entertainment'. Include articles 'an' for 'amusement park' and 'a' for 'theater' as needed. Improve sentence flow and avoid repetition.