Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct basic grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct article use and word order, then add one brief supporting reason. Avoid extra words and filler. For example, fix ‘which is small city’ to ‘which is a small city’ and ‘live us there’ to ‘live there’.

예시: I’m from Busada, which is a small city. I like it because my family and close friends live there, so I feel comfortable and relaxed.

제안: Provide coherent, specific details and use linking words. Remove hesitations and complete your ideas: mention what ‘time moves slowly’ implies and explain ‘fresh air’. Use one linking phrase to connect points. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I like the peaceful atmosphere in Busada because time seems to move more slowly, which helps me unwind. Also, people are friendly, and the town has fresh air and lots of green spaces.

제안: Answer directly with clear tense and chronology. Use a topic sentence stating how long you lived there, then add brief clarification about your current situation. Avoid hesitations and incorrect prepositions (e.g., ‘in there’ → ‘there’).

예시: I lived in Busada until I was 18 — I was born and raised there. Now I live in Algiers for work/study.

제안: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and an example. Avoid repeated hesitations and complete the sentence. Mention alternatives or what could improve the situation. Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example’.

예시: Not really, because there aren’t many opportunities for young people to study and improve their English. For example, there are no language centers or regular English clubs, so many students must move to bigger cities to continue their studies.

× I'm from Busada which is small city.

✓ I'm from Busada, which is a small city.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'small city'. English requires an article before singular countable nouns. Add 'a' and a comma before the relative clause for correct punctuation and clarity.

× I really like it because my family and close friends live us there so I feel comfortable and more relaxed.

✓ I really like it because my family and close friends live there, so I feel comfortable and more relaxed.

The pronoun 'us' is incorrectly placed; the intended meaning is that family and friends live in that place, so the correct adverb is 'there'. Remove 'us'. Also add a comma before 'so' to join the clauses clearly.

× I like the peaceful environment. People there are friendly and uh, and time, uh, moves, not uh, first and fresh air.

✓ I like the peaceful environment. People there are friendly, time moves slowly, and the air is fresh.

The original has disfluent filler words and a broken structure. Reorder to form parallel, complete clauses: 'People there are friendly, time moves slowly, and the air is fresh.' Use an adverb 'slowly' with 'moves' and a complete clause 'the air is fresh' for clarity.

× I was born and raised there in Busada, but currently I'm living in Algiers.

✓ I was born and raised in Busada, but currently I live in Algiers.

'Born and raised' correctly uses past tense, but 'currently I'm living' is an awkward present continuous for a permanent residence; use simple present 'I live' to indicate current, ongoing residence. Also move 'in' directly before 'Busada' for natural word order.

× I live in there until my uh. 18th year.

✓ I lived there until my 18th year.

Use past tense 'lived' because the action ended in the past. Remove the preposition 'in' before 'there' (incorrect here). Also remove the filler and use 'my 18th year' or better 'I lived there until I was 18.'

× Not really, because, uh, there is not, uh, a place where, uh, young people can study and improve their level of, uh, English and, uh.

✓ Not really, because there are not many places where young people can study and improve their level of English.

Use 'there are' (plural) for 'places' instead of 'there is not'. Also 'a place' sounds like a single location; likely the speaker means 'many places' or 'places' plural. Remove fillers and complete the thought. 'Level of English' is acceptable; include 'many' for naturalness.