Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use natural phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid awkward phrases like “cultural stress” and minor grammar issues (e.g. singular/plural agreement).

예시: I’m from Pune, a city in western India. It’s best known for a large, well-regarded university and a long-standing culture that values education, which attracts many students and academic events to the city.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence about what you like, then explain with a specific reason and avoid filler words like “uh” and vague phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and more natural expressions (e.g., ‘regardless of how often people visit’).

예시: I like the abundant libraries in my hometown because they help preserve a strong culture of learning. For example, library staff organise regular talks and study groups, which encourage people of all ages to read and learn.

제안: Separate the length-of-time answer from the future intention. Give a direct, concise reply to the question first, then add a brief, linked personal comment. Fix repetition and tense/wording issues.

예시: I’ve lived in Pune for about 25 years. If my job situation changes, I would definitely consider moving back because I miss the academic atmosphere and my family lives there.

제안: Answer directly and support with two specific reasons, using linking words. Avoid vague endings like “hanging” and use precise descriptions (e.g., ‘networking opportunities’, ‘internships’). Keep to 2–4 sentences maximum.

예시: Yes, Pune is a great place for young people because it has a world-renowned university and numerous colleges. Moreover, many institutions have strong industry links, so students can get internships and networking opportunities, which helps them start their careers.

× Other reason is the cultural stress on education it has since historic times.

✓ Another reason is the cultural stress on education it has had since historic times.

The original sentence omits an article and misplaces tense. 'Other reason' should be 'Another reason.' The clause 'it has since historic times' is awkward and needs perfect construction: 'it has had since historic times' shows that the cultural stress has been present from the past until now. Suggest using 'has had' to indicate a continuing state from historic times to the present. Alternative simpler phrasing: 'Another reason is the long-standing cultural emphasis on education.'.

× There are many libraries in my hometown.

✓ There are many libraries in my hometown.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Keep as is.

× It doesn't matter whether people like to visit it or not.

✓ It doesn't matter whether people like to visit them or not.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'libraries', which is plural. Use the plural pronoun 'them' to agree in number with 'libraries'. Ensure pronoun number matches the antecedent.

× I think the people who manage those libraries want to, uh, maintain that culture of learning.

✓ I think the people who manage those libraries want to maintain that culture of learning.

This sentence is acceptable once the filler 'uh' is removed. The verb structure 'want to maintain' is correct: 'want to' + base verb. The present participle is not needed. Remove filler words for clarity in formal responses.

× I have lived there for the majority of my life, about 25 years and I I would love to go back there if my situation with my job changes.

✓ I have lived there for the majority of my life, about 25 years, and I would love to go back there if my job situation changes.

Minor issues: repeated 'I I' is a typo; 'situation with my job' is awkward—'my job situation' or 'my situation at work' is clearer. The tense 'have lived' correctly indicates duration to present; the conditional 'would love to go back... if my job situation changes' is appropriate. Add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses.

× It is a very good place for young people specifically because it is popular for the university which is world renowned.

✓ It is a very good place for young people, specifically because it is known for a university that is world-renowned.

'Popular for the university' is awkward; use 'known for a university' or 'known for its university.' Also add a comma before 'specifically' for clarity. 'Which is world renowned' should be integrated as a defining modifier: 'a university that is world-renowned.' Hyphenate 'world-renowned' when used as a compound adjective before a noun.

× There are many colleges that are deemed under that university and a lot of these colleges have very practical relationship with industry as well.

✓ There are many colleges under that university, and many of these colleges have very practical relationships with industry as well.

'Deemed under' is unnatural; use simply 'under that university.' 'A lot of these colleges' is colloquial—'many of these colleges' is better. 'Have very practical relationship' needs plural 'relationships' to agree with plural 'colleges.' Add a comma before 'and' to separate independent clauses.

× So you would see a lot of young people hanging.

✓ So you would see a lot of young people hanging out.

The verb 'hanging' is incomplete without a particle in this context; the common expression is 'hanging out' (meaning socializing). Use the phrasal verb 'hang out' to convey the intended meaning. Alternatively, 'hanging around' is also acceptable.