Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 内容は概ね伝わりますが、文法ミスと冗長表現が目立ちます。具体的には “There's a lot of people all over the world” は不自然で意味も曖昧です。また “there are much people” は不可算名詞用法の誤りです。改善には主語と動詞の一致、不可算/可算の区別、短く明確な文を使う練習をしてください。例として最初に主題文を置き、必要なら一文で理由を付け加えると自然です。

예시: I was born and raised in Tokyo, the capital of Japan. It is a huge city with a dense population, so there are always many people on the streets.

제안: 回答は論理的で情報も具体的ですが、より自然に聞こえるために接続詞や語順を改善できます。例えば “even though there are a lot of people” は理由や対比を明確にするために文頭や間に適切に配置しましょう。また “well connected” の前にどこに“well connected”か（市内や近郊）を補うと具体性が増します。語彙は適切なので、流暢さとつながりの改善に集中してください。

예시: I like my hometown because it offers all the amenities I need, such as schools, hospitals and shopping centers. In addition, the transportation system is efficient and well connected throughout the city, despite its large population.

제안: 時制と表現が不自然です。“I've arrived there for 20 years” は不適切で、正しくは “I have lived there for 20 years” や “I moved there 20 years ago” のように言います。また最後の文は情報として具体性に欠けるので、どのように友人と会うか（頻度や場所）を付け加えると良いです。

예시: I have lived in Tokyo for 20 years and I have never moved. Because many of my friends and neighbors still live nearby, I see them quite often at local cafes or community events.

제안: 理由は提示されていますが、情報が限定的で不自然に感じられます。公園の開園時間を挙げるのは良いが、 若者にとっての他の利点（教育機会、仕事、娯楽、交通）も加えると説得力が増します。また “between 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM” は “from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM” と表現を直してください。

예시: Yes, I think Tokyo is a great place for young people. For example, many large parks are open from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM for sports like baseball and soccer, and there are also abundant job opportunities, universities, and vibrant nightlife.

× There's a lot of people all over the world and there are much people.

✓ There are a lot of people all over the world, and there are many people.

Use 'a lot of' or 'many' with countable plural nouns. 'People' is plural and requires 'are' (not 'is'). 'Much' is used with uncountable nouns, so replace with 'many'. Also maintain parallel structure and correct verb form: 'There are'.

× I've arrived there for 20 years and I've never moved.

✓ I've lived there for 20 years and I've never moved.

The present perfect continuous/experience with duration uses 'have/has lived' or 'have been living' for an action that started in the past and continues. 'Arrived' is a past action and not used with a duration in this way. Use 'I've lived there for 20 years' to express duration up to now.

× Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because a big park is open between 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM where people can play baseball and soccer.

✓ Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because a big park is open from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM where people can play baseball and soccer.

Use 'from ... to ...' rather than 'between ... to ...'. Also article use 'a big park' is acceptable, but the time expression should be 'from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM'. The preposition 'between' requires 'and' not 'to'.

× The transportation system is efficient and well connected even though there are a lot of people.

✓ The transportation system is efficient and well connected even though there are many people.

Here 'a lot of' is acceptable, but consistency and correctness with countable plural nouns recommend using 'many'. This keeps sentence natural: 'there are many people'.

× I can meet friends and neighbors nearby.

✓ I can meet friends and neighbors who live nearby.

Adding 'who live' clarifies the relationship and improves sentence structure. 'Nearby' alone can be adverbial; specifying 'who live nearby' makes it clear you can meet friends/neighbors that live close to you.