Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は概ね自然で流暢ですが、いくつか改善点があります。まず“dense population”は少し不自然なので“densely populated”に直すべきです。また、文が少し長めなので2文以内にまとめ、具体的なランドマークの例（例：浅草寺や皇居）を挙げると説得力が増します。接続は適切ですが、より自然な表現を使って簡潔に伝えましょう。

예시: I was born and raised in Tokyo, the capital of Japan. It's a bustling, densely populated city with famous landmarks like Senso-ji Temple and the Imperial Palace, so there's always something happening.

제안: 内容は明確で具体的ですが、例や比較を加えるとさらに良くなります。“well connected”より自然な語順や表現（well-connected）を使い、短い理由や個人的な経験を付け加えて説得力を高めてください。接続語（For example, Also）で文をつなぐと会話が滑らかになります。

예시: I like my hometown because it offers all the amenities I need, such as good schools, hospitals and shopping centers. For example, the train network is well-connected and efficient, so I can get to work quickly and rarely miss appointments.

제안: 文が断片的になっている点を直してください（“Because of that.”は不完全）。現在完了の表現は適切ですが、文をつなげて一貫性を持たせ、具体的な思い出や友人との活動を挙げると良いです。また“comfortable and familiar”はやや平凡なので別の表現を使って感情を強調しましょう。

예시: I've lived here for 20 years and have never moved, so I have many close friends nearby and lots of fond memories. Because of that long history, the neighbourhood feels very comfortable and familiar to me.

제안: 答えがやや冗長で文法ミス（“enjoy with playing”，“so it has a night, a vibrant nightlife”）があります。ポイントごとに短い文で整理し、具体例（人気のイベントや若者向け施設）を挙げてください。接続語を使って構造を明確にし、文法ミスを修正しましょう。

예시: Yes, it's great for young people. There are many parks for playing sports like soccer and basketball, and the city has plenty of job opportunities and universities. In addition, a vibrant nightlife with live music venues and cafes makes it easy for young people to socialize.

× It's a huge, bustling city with dense population and lots of cultural landmarks, so there's always something happening.

✓ It's a huge, bustling city with a dense population and lots of cultural landmarks, so there's always something happening.

The noun 'population' here needs the determiner 'a' because we refer to 'a dense population' as a countable concept in this context. Add 'a' before 'dense population' to be grammatically correct. Suggestion: use 'a dense population' or 'a high population density.'

× I have lived here for 20 years and I have never moved. Because of that. I have many close friends nearby and I've made great memories here.

✓ I have lived here for 20 years and I have never moved. Because of that, I have many close friends nearby and I've made great memories here.

The fragment 'Because of that.' is a sentence fragment. Combine it with the following sentence using a comma to form a complete sentence: 'Because of that, I have...'. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments by attaching dependent clauses to main clauses.

× The transportation system is well connected and efficient, so it's convenient to get around.

✓ The transportation system is well connected and efficient, so it's convenient to get around.

Original sentence is acceptable, but a slightly more natural preposition choice is 'well-connected' with a hyphen. No major grammar error; keep as is. (Kept sentence unchanged.)

× there are many parks where they can enjoy with playing sports like soccer and basketball.

✓ there are many parks where they can enjoy playing sports like soccer and basketball.

Using 'enjoy with playing' is ungrammatical. The verb 'enjoy' should be followed directly by a gerund: 'enjoy playing'. Remove 'with'. Suggestion: 'enjoy playing sports' or 'play sports'.

× It also offers a lot of job opportunities and universities so it has a night, a vibrant nightlife so they can enjoy socializing and entertainment.

✓ It also offers a lot of job opportunities and universities, and it has a vibrant nightlife so they can enjoy socializing and entertainment.

The original sentence has redundant phrases and punctuation errors ('so it has a night, a vibrant nightlife'). Combine ideas with appropriate conjunctions and remove the erroneous fragment 'a night,'. Suggestion: use commas and 'and' to join clauses and avoid redundant words.