Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor factual/name errors; start with a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail using a linking word. Also avoid repeating similar ideas (mountains and nature) and keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: My hometown is Samsung in Kangan Province. It’s a small town surrounded by forested mountains, so I often go hiking there on weekends.

제안: Organize the answer with a topic sentence and two supporting points joined by linking words. Correct unclear comparisons (e.g., “compared to salt”) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘less crowded’). Keep it within three sentences.

예시: I like it because it’s much less crowded than the nearby city, so the atmosphere is peaceful. In addition, the fresh air and green spaces make it a healthy place to live.

제안: Give a direct, clear answer to the question first (use exact duration if possible), and avoid confusing place names. Use present perfect for ongoing residence if you still live there: e.g., 'I have lived there for…'. If unsure, estimate confidently and simply.

예시: I have lived there for about twenty-two years, because I was born and raised in Samsung.

제안: Start with a direct response and then give two specific reasons linked with connectors (e.g., 'because' and 'for example'). Fix place-name inconsistencies and avoid trailing pauses. Mention concrete examples of missing infrastructure.

예시: Not really. Young people often leave because there aren’t many job opportunities or entertainment options; for example, there are no large shopping centers or tech workplaces nearby.

× My hometown is Samsung, which is located in Kangan province.

✓ My hometown is Samsung, which is located in Kangan Province.

Use of preposition is fine but 'province' as part of a proper name should be capitalized; this is an issue of proper noun formatting rather than grammar. Capitalize 'Province' when it is part of the place name.

× I like my hometown because it is not crowded compared to salt and the atmosphere is really peaceful and I also love the fresh air.

✓ I like my hometown because it is not as crowded as Salt, the atmosphere is really peaceful, and I also love the fresh air.

The original sentence misuses 'compared to salt' and has run-on structure with 'and' repeated. Use the comparative structure 'not as ... as' for comparing two things and capitalize 'Salt' if it is a place name. Also split or join clauses with appropriate punctuation and conjunctions to avoid run-on sentences. Suggestion: use commas and 'and' correctly and use 'not as crowded as Salt'.

× I was born in Jonathan, so I lived there for about more than 20 years, I guess.

✓ I was born in Jonathan, so I have lived there for more than 20 years, I guess.

The clause 'I was born' correctly uses past tense for the event; however, the duration continuing to the present should use the present perfect 'have lived' rather than simple past 'lived'. Also 'about more than' is redundant; choose 'about' or 'more than'. Suggest using 'have lived' and either 'about 20 years' or 'more than 20 years'.

× No, I think young people don't like Jiang Sun because.

✓ No, I think young people don't like Jiang Sun because the infrastructure isn't sufficient for them.

The original sentence ends with an incomplete 'because.' Complete the clause to explain the reason. Also 'isn't enough' is passable but 'isn't sufficient' or 'isn't adequate' is more natural. Ensure the sentence contains a subject and verb for the subordinate clause after 'because'.

× The the infrastructure isn't enough for them.

✓ The infrastructure isn't sufficient for them.

There is a repeated article 'The the' and 'enough' used with a noun phrase sounds informal. Remove the duplicate 'the' and choose 'sufficient' or 'adequate' to sound more natural. Also ensure only one definite article appears before 'infrastructure'.