Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and varied in sentence structure, avoid hesitation sounds and filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: I’m from Redmond, Washington, a small suburban city near Seattle. It’s best known for its booming tech industry and a vibrant food scene with many excellent restaurants.

제안: Organize your response: state the main idea, then give one or two specific examples using linking words (for example, furthermore). Eliminate repetition and fillers, and use correct collocations (family-run restaurants).

예시: I like my hometown mainly because of its diverse food culture. For example, you can find spicy street noodles in markets and cozy family-run restaurants serving traditional dishes, so I never get tired of trying new foods.

제안: Provide a clear, grammatically correct time frame and avoid contradictory tenses. Use one coherent sentence to state the duration, then add a short supporting detail. Remove hesitations and finish your thought.

예시: I lived in Redmond until I was 16, so I spent most of my childhood there. Because of that, I know the streets well and used to play with friends in the local parks.

제안: Avoid repetition and filler words; give a clear main point and one specific reason or example. Use linking words like because or for instance to connect ideas, and vary vocabulary (playgrounds, recreational facilities).

예시: Yes, Redmond is a great place for young people because it has many parks and playgrounds. For instance, families often visit the lakeside park where children can play, ride bikes, and join community events.

× Redmond is a small suburban city near Seattle which is well known for its tech industry and great food.

✓ Redmond is a small suburban city near Seattle that is well known for its tech industry and its great food.

Use 'that' instead of 'which' for restrictive clauses in defining information; add 'its' before 'great food' to show possession and make the sentence clearer.

× I like my hometown because it offers a wide variety of food options, uh, from street foods selling spicy noodles to family runs restaurants that that that offer uh, traditional dishes so I barely get bored with the cuisines also.

✓ I like my hometown because it offers a wide variety of food options, from street food selling spicy noodles to family-run restaurants that offer traditional dishes, so I hardly ever get bored with the cuisine.

Correct 'street foods' to uncountable 'street food'; change 'family runs restaurants' to the adjective form 'family-run restaurants'; remove repeated filler words and duplicate 'that'; replace 'so I barely get bored with the cuisines also' with 'so I hardly ever get bored with the cuisine' for natural collocation and correct adverb usage.

× I have lived there, uh, for a long time. I have lived there until I am 16. Uh, I, uh, I have been familiar with the streets. I, I play on the streets and.

✓ I lived there until I was 16. I had been familiar with the streets and I used to play on them.

Tense consistency: use past simple 'lived' and 'was' for time-limited past facts (until age 16). Use 'had been familiar' or simply 'was familiar' to show prior state; 'I play on the streets' is present simple and doesn't match past context, so change to 'I used to play on them' to indicate a past habitual action. Also replace 'I, I play on the streets and.' with a complete clause.

× Families can bring their their their children and have them play in the parks.

✓ Families can bring their children and have them play in the parks.

Remove repeated words 'their' which are redundancies likely from hesitation; retain single 'their' as correct possessive pronoun.