Jewelry— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add a reason using linking words for coherence. Avoid redundancy and long, run-on sentences.

예시: No, I don't often wear jewelry because I work full-time in a restaurant kitchen where wearing jewelry is not allowed for safety reasons.

제안: Improve sentence structure and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, be specific about your preferences and reasons to enrich your answer.

예시: I like wearing earrings and rings. However, I used to enjoy necklaces too, but I stopped because I have an allergy that makes my neck sore when I wear them.

제안: Focus on clear and grammatically correct sentences. Use linking words to explain your preferences and avoid repetition. Also, use appropriate vocabulary such as 'interested in' instead of 'much interested'.

예시: No, I don't usually buy jewelry because I'm not very interested in wearing it. Instead, I prefer to spend my money on skincare products and cosmetics.

제안: Make your answer clearer and more coherent by using proper linking words and grammar. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples. Avoid unclear phrases and incomplete ideas.

예시: I think some people wear jewelry for a long time because it is part of their culture. For example, in Japan, teenagers are very interested in wearing earrings, although some schools do not allow them.

× No, I don't because I only have two days off but then I'm working as a full time worker in a restaurant so in the kitchen, so I cannot wear much jewelry even if I wanted to wear.

✓ No, I don't because I only have two days off and then I work full time in a restaurant kitchen, so I cannot wear much jewelry even if I wanted to.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'I'm working' (present continuous) when describing a habitual action, which should be in the simple present tense 'I work'. Also, 'even if I wanted to wear' is incomplete; 'wear' should not be repeated. The sentence is corrected to use simple present for habitual actions and remove redundancy.

× I like earrings and the rings.

✓ I like earrings and rings.

The use of 'the rings' is incorrect because it implies specific rings previously mentioned, which is not the case. Also, 'rings' should be plural without 'the' to indicate general preference.

× I used to like necklace but I think I have an allergy so if I wear them my neck will sore.

✓ I used to like necklaces but I think I have an allergy, so if I wear them my neck will be sore.

'Necklace' should be plural 'necklaces' to match 'them'. Also, 'my neck will sore' is incorrect; it should be 'my neck will be sore' to use the correct adjective form with the verb 'be'.

× No, I don't. I don't have much interested in wearing in wearing jewelry, so I'd rather to pay my money to skin care or cosmetics rather than jewelry.

✓ No, I don't. I'm not very interested in wearing jewelry, so I'd rather spend my money on skin care or cosmetics rather than jewelry.

'Have much interested' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'be interested'. Also, 'in wearing in wearing' is a repetition error. 'I'd rather to pay my money to' is incorrect; it should be 'I'd rather spend my money on'. Prepositions 'on' and verb 'spend' are appropriate here.

× I think because one of their culture, for example, I'm Japanese but even in school the teenagers they have very interested in wearing like earrings but school Rd. don't allow.

✓ I think it's because of their culture. For example, I'm Japanese, but even in school, teenagers are very interested in wearing earrings, but schools don't allow it.

'Because one of their culture' is incorrect; it should be 'because of their culture'. 'They have very interested' is incorrect; it should be 'are very interested'. 'School Rd.' is unclear and likely a typo; corrected to 'schools'. Also, 'don't allow' needs an object, so 'it' is added.