Jewelry— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for better clarity. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, try to limit your answer to about 4-5 sentences for conciseness.

예시: Yes, I often wear earrings and bracelets because I am fond of jewelry. It adds a certain level of class to my overall appearance. Moreover, jewelry helps to style up simple clothes, making the outfit look more elegant.

제안: Your answer is good but try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'umm'. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas and provide more specific reasons for your preferences.

예시: I really like bracelets and watches, especially gold ones, because they suit me well and enhance my appearance. Additionally, watches are practical since they help me keep track of time throughout the day.

제안: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more structured. Avoid vague phrases like 'I think sometimes' and try to explain your reasons more specifically. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: I do not usually buy jewelry because I dislike extravagant shopping. However, sometimes I visit markets to check the prices of jewelry, which helps me understand the market better.

제안: Your answer shows good insight but could be expressed more naturally and clearly. Avoid awkward phrasing and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, try to be more specific about the emotional or cultural reasons.

예시: I believe some people, especially girls, wear jewelry for a long time because it makes them feel complete both inside and out. Jewelry often holds sentimental value and boosts their confidence.

× I think there is a slight difference in just wearing some clothes and styling up and jewelry makes.

✓ I think there is a slight difference between just wearing some clothes and styling up, and jewelry makes a difference.

The sentence lacks the definite article 'the' before 'slight difference' and needs clearer structure. Also, 'styling up and jewelry makes' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'between' clarifies the comparison, and completing the sentence improves clarity.

× I think that is because for girls especially, it feels that you're empty without a jewelry, not on only on the outside, but in the inside as well.

✓ I think that is because, especially for girls, it feels like you're empty without jewelry, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well.

The phrase 'without a jewelry' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not take 'a'. Also, 'not on only on the outside' is incorrect; it should be 'not only on the outside'. The preposition 'on' is needed before 'the inside' for parallel structure.