Jewelry— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains redundancy. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and provide specific details about when and why you wear jewelry.

예시: I usually wear jewelry only on special occasions, such as parties or meetings with friends, but not when I go shopping or to casual places.

제안: Your answer is relevant but could be more concise and natural. Avoid filler phrases like 'you know' and 'like'. Use linking words to explain why you prefer these types of jewelry and how they make you feel.

예시: I prefer wearing a golden chain or a golden watch because they suit my style and boost my confidence.

제안: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and unclear. Respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words and fragmented sentences.

예시: I usually buy jewelry about once a year, depending on my income, because I want to manage my money and time wisely.

제안: Your answer has good ideas but is unclear due to filler words and awkward phrasing. Use clear linking words and express your ideas more naturally and specifically.

예시: I think some people wear jewelry for a long time because it helps them express their identity and look elegant, which boosts their confidence.

× Well, that basically depends on where I go because you know where I am going to the shop.

✓ Well, that basically depends on where I go because, you know, if I am going to the shop.

The original sentence misuses 'where' in 'where I am going to the shop'. The correct phrase should be 'if I am going to the shop' to indicate the condition. 'Where' refers to a place, but here the speaker means 'if' as a condition.

× I don't usually wear generally where, where he is.

✓ I don't usually wear jewelry generally when I am at home.

The original sentence is unclear and incorrectly uses 'generally' and 'where he is'. The intended meaning seems to be that the speaker does not usually wear jewelry in certain places. The correction clarifies the meaning and uses appropriate quantifiers and prepositions.

× then for the parties or in generally meetings with my friends, you know?

✓ Then for parties or generally in meetings with my friends, you know?

The phrase 'in generally meetings' is incorrect. The correct form is 'generally in meetings'. Also, 'for the parties' should be 'for parties' as it refers to parties in general, not specific ones.

× Well, mostly I like a golden chain, you know, or even a golden watch at the same time, which like essentially fits me the most and in generally gives me confidence.

✓ Well, mostly I like a golden chain, you know, or even a golden watch at the same time, which essentially fits me the most and generally gives me confidence.

The phrase 'in generally gives me confidence' is incorrect. The correct adverb is 'generally' without 'in'. Also, 'like essentially' is redundant; 'essentially' alone suffices.

× So like I said before, that basically depends on my income, but overall I would even say like once a year I guess, which allows me to take my money and time at the same time.

✓ So like I said before, that basically depends on my income, but overall I would say about once a year, which allows me to spend my money and time at the same time.

The phrase 'like once a year' is informal and unclear; 'about once a year' is more appropriate. Also, 'take my money and time' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'spend my money and time'.

× Which I think is enough for me.

✓ I think that is enough for me.

Starting a sentence with 'Which' as a relative pronoun without a main clause is incorrect. The sentence should be restructured to form a complete sentence.

× Well, one of the main reason is umm, attempt to identify oneself and probably even, umm, you know, look, uh, generally elegantly, which can highlight their personalities and in generally give them confidence.

✓ Well, one of the main reasons is the attempt to identify oneself and probably even, you know, to look generally elegant, which can highlight their personalities and generally give them confidence.

'One of the main reason' should be 'one of the main reasons' because 'one of' requires a plural noun. Also, 'look generally elegantly' is incorrect; the adjective 'elegant' should be used after 'look' with 'generally' as an adverb. 'In generally' should be 'generally'.