Jewelry— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy, reduce redundancy, and tighten structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating phrases (e.g. "completes my look" and "more polished look"), and use one or two supporting details with a linking word. Also correct verb agreement and article use.

예시: Yes, I often wear jewelry because it completes my outfits. For example, I usually choose earrings as they frame my face and add subtle, polished touches to my appearance.

제안: Be concise and avoid vague or awkward phrases. Use a clear topic sentence then give a specific reason and an example. Replace informal words like "obsession" with more neutral vocabulary and correct collocations (e.g. "small hands" is fine but "decorate my hands" could be "adorn my hands").

예시: I particularly like rings at the moment because I have small hands and delicate rings suit them well. For instance, I often wear slim, shiny bands that make my hands look more elegant.

제안: Correct grammar and awkward phrases, and make the answer more natural and structured. Use a topic sentence then two supporting details with linking words. Replace "very heartily" and "I am save some money" with natural expressions like "really like" and "I save up."

예시: It depends on the occasion: I usually receive jewelry as gifts for birthdays or holidays. However, if I really like an item, I save up and set a budget to buy it.

제안: Improve grammar, clarity and specificity. Use a clear topic sentence and precise examples; avoid awkward constructions like "received by somebody that you're loved" and "bear some pair." Use linking words to connect idea and example.

예시: People often keep jewelry for sentimental reasons because it reminds them of important relationships or moments. For example, someone might treasure a ring received from a loved one, or keep earrings that remind them of a special trip.

× I think it completes my look and give me a more polished look.

✓ I think it completes my look and gives me a more polished look.

This sentence has a subject-verb agreement issue where the subject 'it' requires the third person singular verb form. The verb 'give' should be 'gives' to match 'it'. Use 'gives' when the subject is third person singular to maintain correct agreement. Suggestion: Change 'give' to 'gives'.

× I prefer especially earrings because I think they frame my face directly and I like to add little subtle touches into my appearance with my jewelry.

✓ I especially prefer earrings because I think they frame my face directly and I like to add little, subtle touches to my appearance with my jewelry.

Word order and preposition choice are awkward. 'Prefer especially' is unnatural; 'especially prefer' or 'especially like' is correct. 'Little subtle' should include a comma for clarity. 'Add ... into my appearance' is incorrect; use 'to my appearance'. Suggestion: Reorder adverb to 'I especially prefer', add comma between adjectives if needed, and use 'to' not 'into'.

× I already talked about earrings, but I can say my new obsession is rings because I have very small hands.

✓ I already talked about earrings, but I can say that my new obsession is rings because I have very small hands.

The clause needs the conjunction 'that' to introduce the reported statement smoothly: 'I can say that my new obsession is rings'. Without 'that' the sentence is informal and slightly ungrammatical in this context. Suggestion: Insert 'that' after 'say' for clearer sentence structure.

× Actually, I like to decorate my hands with shiny, luxurious jewelry to make them more feminine.

✓ Actually, I like to decorate my hands with shiny, luxurious jewelry to make them look more feminine.

The phrase 'to make them more feminine' is ambiguous because 'them' (hands) cannot change gender; use 'look more feminine' to indicate appearance. Use 'look' to modify appearance. Suggestion: Use 'make them look more feminine'.

× Well, it depends on occasion.

✓ Well, it depends on the occasion.

The noun 'occasion' requires the definite article 'the' in this general idiom 'depends on the occasion'. Without the article the phrase is ungrammatical. Suggestion: Add 'the' before 'occasion'.

× I often receive jewelry as gifts for my birthday, or a Christmas gift, or a gift for International Women's Day.

✓ I often receive jewelry as gifts for my birthday, as a Christmas gift, or as a gift for International Women's Day.

Parallel structure and preposition use are inconsistent. Use 'as' for each item to keep parallelism: 'as gifts', 'as a Christmas gift', 'as a gift for...'. Suggestion: Use 'as' repeatedly for parallelism and correct idiom.

× But if I like something very heartily, I am save some money and set a budget to buy it.

✓ But if I really like something, I save some money and set a budget to buy it.

'Very heartily' is not the correct adverb here; 'really' or 'very much' fits better. 'I am save' is ungrammatical; use the simple present 'I save' to describe habitual action. Also maintain tense consistent with habitual actions. Suggestion: Replace 'very heartily' with 'really' and 'I am save' with 'I save'.

× I think some people keep jewelry for a long time for the sentimental values.

✓ I think some people keep jewelry for a long time for the sentimental value.

'Values' should be singular 'value' in this context; 'sentimental value' is the correct collocation. 'There be' type doesn't exactly fit, but this is a word choice/article collocation error; correcting to the established phrase improves accuracy. Suggestion: Use the fixed expression 'sentimental value'.

× For instance, a ring can be received by somebody that you're loved, or you can bear some pair of earrings that reminds you a perfect period of your time.

✓ For instance, a ring can be given by somebody who loves you, or you can wear a pair of earrings that reminds you of a perfect time in your life.

Several issues: 'received by somebody that you're loved' is incorrect: use active 'given by somebody who loves you' or passive 'received from someone who loves you'. Use 'who' for people, not 'that'. 'Bear' is wrong verb for wearing jewelry; use 'wear'. 'Some pair' is awkward; 'a pair' is correct. 'Reminds you a perfect period of your time' is incorrect; use 'reminds you of a perfect time in your life'. Suggestion: Use 'given by somebody who loves you' or 'received from someone who loves you', replace 'bear' with 'wear', and use 'reminds you of' plus 'time in your life'.