Writing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and be more concise. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, I write quite often because I was a member of a literature journalism club that focused on creative writing. Although I am no longer part of the club, I maintain the habit by writing at least once a week.

제안: Make your sentences clearer and avoid repetition of words like 'just'. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: I enjoy writing about real experiences combined with a touch of creative writing because I believe everyday life contains many magical moments that often go unnoticed, and I want to share these with others through my writing.

제안: Avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific in your explanation.

예시: Yes, I believe my writing will change over time because it reflects the deeper parts of my self and soul. As I grow and change, my sense of self evolves, which naturally influences what and how I write.

제안: Improve sentence structure and grammar, and use linking words to compare both methods clearly and coherently.

예시: I think both handwriting and typing have their own advantages and disadvantages. Handwriting feels more personal because it creates a connection with the paper, while typing is more efficient since it allows easy correction of errors.

제안: Avoid capitalizing common nouns like 'diaries' unnecessarily. Also, try to make your answer more concise and use linking words to improve flow.

예시: I have never kept a diary because, in this digital age, our smartphones can capture every moment accurately, which I find more useful than traditional diaries.

제안: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and redundant phrases such as 'just'. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more concise.

예시: As I mentioned, I use my phone's camera and a photographic camera to record my life. Additionally, I create vlogs that I can watch later to remember and cherish those special moments.

× that club consisted of creative writing, which just, uh, got into my habit because I used to write at least once a week.

✓ that club consisted of creative writing, which just, uh, got into my habit because I used to write at least once a week.

No correction needed here as 'got into my habit' is acceptable colloquial usage; no grammar problem from the list applies.

× I like to write about just real experiences with just a splash of creative writing because I believe that our everyday life is filled with so much magical experience that we do not see and by writing I like to show people.

✓ I like to write about real experiences with just a splash of creative writing because I believe that our everyday life is filled with so many magical experiences that we do not see, and by writing I like to show people.

The pronoun 'just' is redundant and awkwardly placed; 'so much magical experience' should be 'so many magical experiences' to agree in number with 'experiences'. Also, a comma is needed before 'and' to separate clauses.

× And as we change and we grow, of course our sense of self grow grows as well.

✓ And as we change and we grow, of course our sense of self grows as well.

The subject 'sense' is singular, so the verb should be 'grows' to agree in number.

× I believe both has its own flaws and beauty.

✓ I believe both have their own flaws and beauty.

The subject 'both' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' and the possessive pronoun should be 'their' to agree in number.

× But writing in computers and digitally is more efficient for me because of easily fixable errors that are not much.

✓ But writing on computers and digitally is more efficient for me because errors are easily fixable and not many.

The correct preposition is 'on' when referring to using computers. The phrase 'because of easily fixable errors that are not much' is awkward; rephrasing improves clarity and grammar.

× I do not keep Diaries, and I never have, because we live in an age of digital advancements and I believe that the little device, the extraordinary mobile phone we have in our hands, has the ability to depict every single moment as it is, and I believe that serves us more than Diaries ever did.

✓ I do not keep diaries, and I never have, because we live in an age of digital advancements and I believe that the little device, the extraordinary mobile phone we have in our hands, has the ability to depict every single moment as it is, and I believe that serves us more than diaries ever did.

The word 'diaries' should not be capitalized unless it is a proper noun. Lowercase is correct here.