Weather— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence about current weather, avoid fillers (uh), correct prepositions and verb forms, and limit to 2–4 sentences. Add a specific detail or example and use a linking phrase.

예시: It's been sunny recently. Because of the warm weather many flowers are blooming in the public gardens, so tourists come to enjoy them. For example, last weekend I saw groups of visitors taking photos under the cherry blossoms.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and combine supporting reasons concisely. Avoid filler words and make the reasons specific and varied (activities, comfort). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

예시: I prefer hot weather because it allows me to travel and enjoy outdoor activities. For example, during summer vacations I like swimming in the ocean and trying street food like ice cream, which I rarely eat in winter.

제안: State your preference in one sentence, then give two specific, concise reasons linked logically. Correct small grammar issues and avoid repetition.

예시: I prefer dry weather because rainy days make going out inconvenient. For instance, I often need an umbrella and rain boots, and wet conditions make walking and commuting slower.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence summarizing your habit, then give specific circumstances and frequency. Use correct tense and linking words like 'however' to contrast situations.

예시: It depends — I check the forecast only when I plan to travel. For example, if I have a trip in the next few days I check it daily to pack suitable clothes, but I rarely check it on ordinary school days.

제안: Avoid fillers and be precise. Give one clear topic sentence about major effects, then provide a specific example with explanation. Correct grammar (e.g., 'animal habitats are being destroyed') and avoid unsupported claims about positive effects unless specified.

예시: Climate change has mainly had negative effects recently, especially on wildlife. For example, rising temperatures and shifting rainfall patterns have destroyed animal habitats, forcing species to migrate or face population declines.

제안: Start with a direct answer and follow with one or two specific reasons and a clear example. Fix grammar and sentence flow, and avoid awkward phrasing like 'could likely try'.

예시: Yes, I'd love to visit cities with different climates because they offer new activities and landscapes. For example, moving from a hot coastal town to a snowy mountain village would let me try skiing and see snowy scenery that I haven't experienced before.

× Recently it's sunny, so, uh, during this period there are a lot of flowers blooming in the garden and people from all over the world would come to there to visit and, uh, appreciation these flowers.

✓ Recently it's been sunny, so during this period a lot of flowers are blooming in the garden and people from all over the world come there to visit and appreciate these flowers.

Multiple tense and verb form issues: 'Recently it's sunny' is better as 'Recently it's been sunny' to indicate a recent continuous state. 'There are a lot of flowers blooming' is acceptable but 'a lot of' is more natural without 'there' before 'a lot'; changed to 'a lot of flowers are blooming'. 'Would come to there' incorrectly uses conditional 'would' and redundant 'to there' — use simple present 'come there' for habitual/current actions. 'Appreciation these flowers' uses the noun 'appreciation' instead of the verb 'appreciate' and lacks proper structure. Suggestion: use present forms for ongoing/current situations and the base verb after 'to'.

× I prefer hot weather because in summer vacation I can travel around the world. Also, it would be suitable for me to swim in the pool or in the ocean. Besides, uh, I think it's a good time to enjoy the ice cream.

✓ I prefer hot weather because during summer vacation I can travel around the world. Also, it is suitable for me to swim in the pool or in the ocean. Besides, I think it's a good time to enjoy ice cream.

Tense and modal usage: 'in summer vacation' is better as 'during summer vacation'. 'It would be suitable' uses conditional 'would' unnecessarily; use present 'it is suitable' to state a general fact. 'Enjoy the ice cream' is awkward with 'the' — use 'enjoy ice cream' for general reference. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× I prefer dry weather because if it is a rainy day, it will not as convenient as a dry day.

✓ I prefer dry weather because if it is a rainy day, it will not be as convenient as a dry day.

Missing verb 'be' causes an ungrammatical clause: 'will not as convenient' should be 'will not be as convenient'. Keep the comparative structure 'as ... as' with the verb 'be'.

× I have to carry an umbrella, a raincoat and a pair of rain shoes which makes going outside less comfortable and I don't like this feeling.

✓ I have to carry an umbrella, a raincoat and a pair of rain shoes, which makes going outside less comfortable, and I don't like that feeling.

Relative clause and pronoun reference: add commas around the nonrestrictive clause 'which makes...' and change 'this feeling' to 'that feeling' for clarity. Commas improve sentence flow and 'that' better refers back to the situation.

× This depends. If I will travel in the next few days, I will check the weather forecast in advance to prepare my clothes and other necessary things.

✓ This depends. If I am going to travel in the next few days, I will check the weather forecast in advance to prepare my clothes and other necessary things.

Conditional sentence rule: In real conditionals about the future, use present simple or present progressive in the if-clause, not 'will'. Replace 'If I will travel' with 'If I am going to travel' or 'If I travel' to form a correct first conditional.

× But if I just stay at home or in school, I don't have this habit of checking the weather forecast.

✓ But if I just stay at home or at school, I don't have the habit of checking the weather forecast.

Preposition and article choice: add 'at school' and change 'this habit' to 'the habit' for natural collocation. Present tense 'stay' is fine.

× Uh, there are both positive and negative effects of climate change in recent years.

✓ There have been both positive and negative effects of climate change in recent years.

Time frame mismatch: 'in recent years' indicates a period up to now, so present perfect 'have been' is appropriate instead of simple present 'are'.

× One of the most of the years negative effect is uh, the most animals habitat are being destroyed because of the changing climate.

✓ One of the most significant negative effects in recent years is that many animals' habitats are being destroyed because of the changing climate.

Multiple errors: 'One of the most of the years negative effect' is ungrammatical — rephrase to 'One of the most significant negative effects in recent years'. 'The most animals habitat are being destroyed' has noun number and possession errors: use 'many animals' habitats' (or 'many animals' habitats are') and subject-verb agreement 'habitats are'. Also use 'that' to introduce the clause. Break into clearer structure and use plural possessive for habitats.

× Yes, I'd love to visit cities with different climates because experiencing unfamiliar weather can change how you travel and enjoy local activities.

✓ Yes, I'd love to visit cities with different climates because experiencing unfamiliar weather can change how you travel and how you enjoy local activities.

Parallel structure: 'change how you travel and enjoy local activities' mixes structures; making both verbs parallel with 'how you' improves clarity. Alternatively, use 'change how you travel and how you enjoy local activities'.

× For example, going from a hot coastal city to a snowy mountain town could likely try winter sports and sea landscapes I have never seen before.

✓ For example, going from a hot coastal city to a snowy mountain town could allow me to try winter sports and see sea landscapes I have never seen before.

Missing subject and incorrect verb use: 'could likely try winter sports and sea landscapes' lacks the subject 'me' and mixes verbs incorrectly. Use 'could allow me to try' and parallel verbs 'try ... and see ...'. 'See sea landscapes' is clearer than the original.