Weather— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail (e.g., temperature range or rainy season timing). Reduce filler words and correct grammar (remove extra 'so', fix 'sometime' to 'sometimes').

예시: I live in Malaysia, so the weather is generally hot and humid. For example, average temperatures are around 28–32°C year-round, with a rainy season from November to February when heavy showers are common.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (because, so). Avoid long run-on sentences and correct grammar errors (e.g., 'sometime is really hot' → 'sometimes it is too hot').

예시: I prefer cold weather, especially mild autumn days around 16°C, because that temperature feels comfortable for me. In contrast, winter makes my lips dry and cracked, and very hot weather often feels unbearable.

제안: State your preference clearly, then give specific reasons with correct linking words. Avoid awkward phrases like 'in whereas in the other hand' and repetitive words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'chapped' not 'chopped').

예시: I prefer wet or humid weather because my lips and skin stay more comfortable in humidity. In dry weather my lips become chapped and I need to apply lip balm and lotion frequently.

제안: Answer directly, then give two clear examples of when you check the forecast. Fix grammar and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'so that my clothes don't get soaked' and 'to avoid being caught in an unexpected shower'). Keep sentences short and coherent using linking words like 'so' and 'before'.

예시: Yes. I usually check the weather forecast on weekdays, especially before I leave the house, so I know whether to take an umbrella. I also check it before jogging and before doing laundry to avoid being caught in an unexpected shower.

제안: Begin with a clear statement about effects, then give specific examples and cause-effect linking words (e.g., 'because', 'which leads to'). Correct grammar (e.g., 'more extreme', 'hotter', 'in recent years'). Mention concrete consequences briefly.

예시: In recent years, climate change has caused more extreme weather, such as hotter temperatures and heavier storms. For example, melting glaciers are raising sea levels, which is largely caused by increased greenhouse gas emissions from vehicles and factories.

제안: Answer directly and use one clear example with correct vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases ('different kind make', 'young froyo') and filler words. Describe what you like about the destination using linking words and one specific detail (e.g., scenery, temperature, activities).

예시: Yes, I enjoy visiting cities with different climates. For example, I love going to Switzerland in autumn because the weather is mild and the scenery is beautiful—sometimes you can even see early snowfall in the mountains, which offers both colorful leaves and snowy views.

× I live in Malaysia, so the weather is really hot. And because it's a tropical country, so we have hot climate all the time and sometime we have the rainy season, but still the average temperature is around, uh, still very high.

✓ I live in Malaysia, so the weather is really hot. Because it's a tropical country, we have a hot climate all the time and sometimes we have a rainy season, but the average temperature is still very high.

Errors: unnecessary 'so' after 'because' (redundant conjunction), missing articles before 'hot climate' and 'rainy season', and 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'. Suggestion: Use either 'because' or 'so', not both; add 'a' before singular countable noun phrases 'hot climate' and 'rainy season'; use 'sometimes' for frequency; move 'still' before 'very high' or place after 'is' for clarity.

× I prefer cold weather, especially in the autumn when it's about 16°C, the temperature is comfortable and because it's not too cold or hot and whereas that in the winter is too bad because my lips often get dry and cracked and hot weather is sometime is really hot that I don't like to.

✓ I prefer cold weather, especially in autumn when it's about 16°C: the temperature is comfortable because it's not too cold or too hot. Winter is worse because my lips often get dry and cracked, and very hot weather is sometimes so unbearable that I don't like it.

Errors: tense and sentence structure issues and misuse of conjunctions. 'The autumn' can be 'autumn'; combine clauses with clearer connectors; 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'; missing 'it' after 'don't like'; 'too cold or hot' should be 'too cold or too hot'. Suggestion: Split into clear sentences, keep present simple for habitual preferences, and use parallel structure ('too cold or too hot').

× I prefer wet weather. This is because my lips and skin often feel more comfortable in the humid conditions. So in whereas in the other hand, in dry weather my lips often get chopped and I have to use lip balm all the time and for my skin I have to use the lotions all the time.

✓ I prefer wet weather because my lips and skin often feel more comfortable in humid conditions. On the other hand, in dry weather my lips often become chapped and I have to use lip balm all the time, and for my skin I have to use lotion regularly.

Errors: incorrect phrase 'in whereas in the other hand' (use 'on the other hand'), 'chopped' should be 'chapped', 'the lotions' unnecessary article and plural; 'humid conditions' doesn't need 'the'. Suggestion: Use standard discourse marker 'on the other hand', correct the adjective 'chapped', and use uncountable 'lotion' or 'lotions' without 'the' depending on meaning.

× Yes, I usually check the weather forecast on the weekday, especially before I leave the house. It helped me to decide whether to take an umbrella if there is a weather forecast, and I also check it before jogging to await caught in as an unexpected shower and also before I do my laundry. I also check if it's raining so that my clothes doesn't get just soaked off by the rent.

✓ Yes, I usually check the weather forecast on weekdays, especially before I leave the house. It helps me decide whether to take an umbrella, and I also check it before jogging to avoid being caught in an unexpected shower and before I do my laundry. I also check if it's raining so that my clothes don't get soaked when left outside.

Errors: inconsistent tense ('helped' should be present 'helps' for habitual action), incorrect prepositions ('on the weekday' -> 'on weekdays'), awkward phrasing 'await caught in' -> 'avoid being caught in', subject-verb agreement 'my clothes doesn't' -> 'my clothes don't', and 'soaked off by the rent' unclear -> 'soaked when left outside'. Suggestion: Use present simple for habits, correct idiomatic expressions, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× I think in the recent year the climate has become more extremes where it's become more hotter, especially in Malaysia. And then I also see reports that the iceberg and glaciers are melting, which contribute to rising sea level, mainly because of increased greenhouse gas emissions like carbon dioxide from the vehicle factories.

✓ I think in recent years the climate has become more extreme and hotter, especially in Malaysia. I have also seen reports that icebergs and glaciers are melting, which contributes to rising sea levels, mainly because of increased greenhouse gas emissions such as carbon dioxide from vehicles and factories.

Errors: time expression 'in the recent year' -> 'in recent years', 'more extremes' -> 'more extreme', 'more hotter' is redundant ('hotter' or 'more hot' but use 'hotter'), 'iceberg and glaciers' -> plural consistent 'icebergs and glaciers', subject-verb agreement 'which contribute' -> 'which contributes' (refers to melting as a singular phenomenon) or better 'which contribute to rising sea levels' if plural subject; 'sea level' -> 'sea levels', 'vehicle factories' ambiguous -> 'vehicles and factories' or 'vehicle emissions from factories'. Suggestion: Use correct comparative forms, pluralize nouns correctly, and match verbs to their subjects.

× Yes, I always enjoy visit other city that have a different kind make from where I live. So for example, I love going to Switzerland during the autumn season because of the beautiful scenery and together with the perfect weather where it's not too hot and it's not too cold. And then umm, even in the autumn season, like the young froyo up there, there is a snowing. So you can have both choice.

✓ Yes, I always enjoy visiting other cities that are different from where I live. For example, I love going to Switzerland during autumn because of the beautiful scenery and the pleasant weather, which is neither too hot nor too cold. Even in autumn, in the higher areas there can be snow, so you can have both options.

Errors: verb form 'enjoy visit' -> 'enjoy visiting', 'other city' -> 'other cities', awkward 'different kind make' -> 'different from', 'during the autumn season' -> 'during autumn' (simpler), 'together with the perfect weather where' -> 'and the pleasant weather, which is', 'the young froyo up there' nonsensical -> likely 'higher areas' or 'mountain areas', 'there is a snowing' -> 'there can be snow', 'both choice' -> 'both options'. Suggestion: Use gerunds after 'enjoy', pluralize countable nouns, choose clear nouns for place ('higher areas'), and use correct expressions for weather phenomena.