Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は内容がやや冗長で、文法的な誤りもあります。例えば、「I eat snacks to get relaxed so I love to eat chocolate and candy when I eat.」は不自然です。より自然で効果的な表現にするために、文を分けて明確にし、接続詞を適切に使いましょう。

예시: I usually don't eat snacks because I need to control my weight. However, after work, I sometimes feel stressed, so I eat snacks like chocolate and candy to relax.

제안: 文法の誤りや不明瞭な表現が多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。例えば、「It's non fly on low low sugar」は意味不明です。より具体的で正確な語彙を使い、文を整理しましょう。

예시: No, I don't think eating snacks is healthy because they usually contain a lot of fat and sugar. However, some snacks like nuts or fruits are healthier options because they have less sugar and fat.

제안: 回答は内容が明確ですが、文法的な誤りや冗長な部分があります。例えば、「strict at eating snacks」より「strict about eating snacks」が自然です。接続詞を使って文をつなげるとより流暢になります。

예시: No, I didn't eat snacks often when I was young because my parents were very strict about it and rarely bought me any. However, I sometimes ate fruits and nuts as snacks.

제안: 表現が繰り返しで冗長です。また、「It's bitter and flavor」は不自然な表現です。より具体的で多様な語彙を使い、文を簡潔にまとめましょう。

예시: As I mentioned, I love eating chocolate because of its rich and slightly bitter taste. I also enjoy candies, especially those with various flavors like strawberry.

× I don't usually eat snacks because I have to control my weight but after finishing work sometimes it's really stressful and I eat snacks to get relaxed so I love to eat chocolate and candy when I eat.

✓ I don't usually eat snacks because I have to control my weight, but after finishing work, sometimes it's really stressful and I eat snacks to relax, so I love to eat chocolate and candy.

The phrase 'to get relaxed' is incorrect; the correct form is 'to relax' because 'relax' is the verb used after 'to' in this context. Using 'get relaxed' is unnatural here. Also, adding commas improves sentence clarity.

× No I don't, as I mentioned I'm controlling my weight so snacks has high fat and sugar so I think that we need to avoid eating a lot of snacks.

✓ No, I don't. As I mentioned, I'm controlling my weight, so snacks have high fat and sugar. I think that we need to avoid eating a lot of snacks.

The subject 'snacks' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' instead of 'has' to agree in number. Also, adding commas and periods improves sentence clarity.

× But some snacks are relatively healthy. It's non fly on low low sugar.

✓ But some snacks are relatively healthy. They are non-fried and low in sugar.

The original sentence 'It's non fly on low low sugar' is unclear and ungrammatical. The intended meaning is likely 'non-fried and low in sugar.' Correcting the sentence structure and word choice clarifies the meaning.

× No, I didn't because my parents were very strict at eating snacks and they seldom bought me a snack so I could not have opportunity to eat snacks, but sometimes I ate fruit and nuts.

✓ No, I didn't because my parents were very strict about eating snacks and they seldom bought me snacks, so I did not have the opportunity to eat snacks, but sometimes I ate fruit and nuts.

The phrase 'strict at eating snacks' should be 'strict about eating snacks' to use the correct preposition. Also, 'could not have opportunity' is incorrect; it should be 'did not have the opportunity.' These corrections improve grammatical accuracy and naturalness.

× As I mentioned, I really love to eat chocolate and candy because I really love the taste of chocolate. It's bitter and flavor.

✓ As I mentioned, I really love to eat chocolate and candy because I really love the taste of chocolate. It's bitter and flavorful.

The word 'flavor' is a noun, but here an adjective is needed to describe the taste. The correct adjective is 'flavorful.'

× And also I love candy because they have variety of seasonings.

✓ And also I love candy because it has a variety of flavors.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrect because 'candy' is treated as a singular noun here. Also, 'variety of seasonings' is unnatural; 'a variety of flavors' is more appropriate when talking about candy.