Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add specific details using linking words to improve coherence.

예시: I usually eat snacks occasionally, such as during social functions or when I am with my friends. In fact, I eat snacks about once a month.

제안: Focus on structuring your answer clearly with a topic sentence followed by supporting reasons. Use linking words like 'because' or 'therefore' to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

예시: I don't think eating snacks is healthy because most of them are packaged and contain unknown chemicals. Therefore, we should avoid eating such snacks to maintain good health.

제안: Your answer is quite good but can be improved by using better linking words and more natural phrasing. Also, avoid mixing tenses unnecessarily.

예시: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because I prioritized taste over health. However, now I am more mature and prefer to focus on my health rather than just taste.

제안: Make your answer more fluent and natural by avoiding repetition and filler phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence and add specific reasons using linking words.

예시: Although I don't usually eat snacks, when I get the chance, I prefer chips or biscuits because they are tasty and delicious.

× I don't eat snack frequently but sometimes for an example due in in function or I am with my friends, I eat snack.

✓ I don't eat snacks frequently but sometimes, for example, during a function or when I am with my friends, I eat snacks.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to countable items eaten multiple times. Also, 'for an example' is incorrect; it should be 'for example'. The phrase 'due in in function' is unclear and corrected to 'during a function' for clarity.

× Like uh once a month in a once in a month I eat snacks.

✓ Like, uh, once a month, I eat snacks.

The phrase 'in a once in a month' is redundant and incorrect. The correct expression is 'once a month'. Also, 'snacks' is correctly plural here.

× No, it is not healthy to eat snacks as first of all they are packaged food or you don't know what chemicals are used for making them.

✓ No, it is not healthy to eat snacks because, first of all, they are packaged foods and you don't know what chemicals are used to make them.

The phrase 'as first of all' is incorrect; 'because, first of all,' is appropriate. 'Packaged food' should be plural 'packaged foods' as it refers to multiple items. Also, 'used for making them' is better expressed as 'used to make them'.

× So I think they are not health healthy for you.

✓ So I think they are not healthy for you.

The phrase 'health healthy' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'healthy'.

× You should avoid you or we should avoid them and.

✓ You should avoid them or we should avoid them.

The phrase 'avoid you' is incorrect because the pronoun 'you' does not fit the context. It should be 'avoid them' referring to snacks. The sentence was incomplete and corrected for clarity.

× Yes, I often eat snacks when I was young because at that time I was not as mature as I am today and at that time for me taste was the priority rather than my health.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because at that time I was not as mature as I am today and for me, taste was the priority rather than my health.

The verb 'eat' should be in past tense 'ate' to match 'when I was young'. The phrase 'at that time' is repeated unnecessarily and was reduced for clarity.

× Usually I don't eat snack but when I given when I given a chance to eat snack.

✓ Usually, I don't eat snacks but when I am given a chance to eat snacks.

'Snack' should be plural 'snacks' as it refers to multiple items. The phrase 'when I given' is incorrect; it should be 'when I am given' to form the passive voice correctly.

× Usually I don't eat snack but when I given when I given a chance to eat snack.

✓ Usually, I don't eat snacks but when I am given a chance to eat snacks.

The sentence had repetition 'when I given when I given' and missing auxiliary verb 'am' for passive voice. Corrected for proper sentence structure.