Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 文法の誤りを直し、より自然で効果的な表現を使いましょう。また、回答は簡潔にし、冗長な部分を避けることが重要です。例えば、「but I on other days I don't often eat snacks because I want to lose weight so」の部分は不自然で、意味も伝わりにくいです。

예시: I usually eat snacks when I hang out with my friends. However, on other days, I avoid snacks because I want to lose weight.

제안: 文法の誤り（"they contains" → "they contain"）を修正し、接続詞を使って文をつなげるとより自然になります。また、具体的な理由や例を加えると説得力が増します。

예시: No, I don't think eating snacks is healthy because they usually contain a lot of sugar. Therefore, I try to avoid them and eat fruits instead to stay healthy.

제안: 文法と語順の誤りを直し、文を完結させましょう。例えば、「in a elementary school」は「in elementary school」が正しいです。また、最後の部分が不完全なので、意味が伝わるように修正してください。

예시: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was in elementary school because I hung out with my friends almost every day and always brought snacks to share with them.

제안: 文法の誤り（"they makes" → "they make"、"stay hope stay focused"は不自然）を修正し、より明確で自然な表現にしましょう。理由を具体的に述べると良いです。

예시: I really like chocolate and cookies because they make me happy. Also, chocolate helps me stay focused when I study.

× I usually eat snacks when I hang out with my friends, but I on other days I don't often eat snacks because I want to lose weight so.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I hang out with my friends, but on other days I don't often eat snacks because I want to lose weight.

The conjunction 'so' is incorrectly placed at the end of the sentence, and the phrase 'I on other days' has incorrect word order. The correct structure is 'but on other days I don't often eat snacks because I want to lose weight.' This improves sentence clarity and grammatical correctness.

× No, I don't think it is healthy for me to eat snacks because usually they contains a lot of sugars.

✓ No, I don't think it is healthy for me to eat snacks because usually they contain a lot of sugar.

The subject 'they' is plural, so the verb should be 'contain' not 'contains'. Also, 'sugars' is generally uncountable in this context, so 'sugar' is more appropriate.

× Yes I did I often ate snacks when I was in a elementary school because I hung out with my friends almost every day and every time I brought a lot of snacks to enjoy my.

✓ Yes, I did. I often ate snacks when I was in elementary school because I hung out with my friends almost every day and every time I brought a lot of snacks to enjoy.

The phrase 'a elementary school' should be 'elementary school' without 'a' because 'elementary school' is uncountable here. Also, the sentence was incomplete at the end; 'to enjoy my' is corrected to 'to enjoy.' Punctuation is added for clarity.

× I really like chocolate and cookies because they makes me happy and also chocolate always helps me stay hope stay focused on my studies.

✓ I really like chocolate and cookies because they make me happy and also chocolate always helps me stay focused on my studies.

The plural subject 'they' requires the verb 'make' instead of 'makes'. The phrase 'stay hope stay focused' is incorrect; 'stay focused' is the correct expression.