Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: သင်၏အဖြေသည် သဘာဝကျပြီး ထိရောက်မှုရှိရန် ပိုမိုရိုးရှင်းပြီး တိကျသော စကားလုံးများကို အသုံးပြုသင့်သည်။ စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် ကြိုးစားပါ။ ဥပမာအားဖြင့် "I usually eat snacks on Sundays after coming back from church. I like to relax by eating snacks such as sunflower seeds or potato chips. This is the best part of my week."

예시: I usually eat snacks on Sundays after coming back from church. I like to relax by eating snacks such as sunflower seeds or potato chips. This is the best part of my week.

제안: သင်၏အဖြေတွင် သဘာဝကျသော စကားလုံးများကို အသုံးပြု၍ ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြု၍ အကြောင်းအရာကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစေပါ။ ဥပမာ - "I don't think eating too many snacks is healthy because it can cause weight gain and nutrient imbalance. However, it is hard to avoid snacks because they are widely available and popular."

예시: I don't think eating too many snacks is healthy because it can cause weight gain and nutrient imbalance. However, it is hard to avoid snacks because they are widely available and popular.

제안: သင်၏အဖြေသည် ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး စာလုံးပေါင်းမှန်ကန်စေရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ ထို့အပြင် စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြု၍ အကြောင်းအရာကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစေပါ။ ဥပမာ - "Honestly, I didn't eat snacks often when I was young because they were not popular in my hometown. We mainly ate healthy food like fruits."

예시: Honestly, I didn't eat snacks often when I was young because they were not popular in my hometown. We mainly ate healthy food like fruits.

제안: သင်၏အဖြေသည် ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး စာလုံးပေါင်းမှန်ကန်စေရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ ထို့အပြင် စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြု၍ အကြောင်းအရာကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစေပါ။ ဥပမာ - "My favorite snack is sunflower seeds because they are affordable and convenient. I especially enjoy eating them while watching movies or dramas. It's a perfect moment I can't resist."

예시: My favorite snack is sunflower seeds because they are affordable and convenient. I especially enjoy eating them while watching movies or dramas. It's a perfect moment I can't resist.

× Now the day I usually eat snack on Sunday when I come back from the church and try to chill the day with snacks like sunflowers or others put like potato chips.

✓ Nowadays, I usually eat snacks on Sunday when I come back from church and try to chill the day with snacks like sunflower seeds or others such as potato chips.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to more than one item. 'Sunflowers' should be 'sunflower seeds' to specify the snack. 'Now the day' is incorrect; 'Nowadays' is the correct adverb to express current habits.

× Now the day I usually eat snack on Sunday when I come back from the church and try to chill the day with snacks like sunflowers or others put like potato chips.

✓ Nowadays, I usually eat snacks on Sunday when I come back from church and try to chill the day with snacks like sunflower seeds or others such as potato chips.

The preposition 'from the church' is acceptable but 'from church' is more natural in this context. Also, 'put like potato chips' is incorrect; it should be 'such as potato chips' to give examples.

× Absolutely not eating snacks too much can cause overweight or imbalance nutrients.

✓ Absolutely not. Eating too many snacks can cause overweight or nutrient imbalance.

'Eating snacks too much' is incorrect; it should be 'eating too many snacks' because 'snacks' is countable. 'Imbalance nutrients' should be 'nutrient imbalance' to correctly express the idea.

× Even though we know the drawbacks of the snacks, it is too quiet hard not too depends on it as knows the day.

✓ Even though we know the drawbacks of snacks, it is quite hard not to depend on them nowadays.

'The snacks' should be 'snacks' without 'the' because it refers to snacks in general. 'Too quiet hard' is incorrect; it should be 'quite hard'. 'Not too depends' should be 'not to depend'. 'As knows the day' is unclear and corrected to 'nowadays' to express current time.

× Every star has a variety of snacks.

✓ Every store has a variety of snacks.

'Star' is likely a mishearing or typo for 'store'. 'Store' is singular and correct here. 'Star' does not fit the context.

× Honestly I didn't it's often snacks when I was young because in that time there is no wily popular in my hometown and we mainly eat on healthy food, fruit and food.

✓ Honestly, I didn't often eat snacks when I was young because at that time, they were not widely popular in my hometown and we mainly ate healthy food, fruits, and other food.

'Didn't it's often snacks' is incorrect; it should be 'didn't often eat snacks'. 'In that time' should be 'at that time'. 'There is no wily popular' is incorrect; it should be 'they were not widely popular'. 'Eat on healthy food' should be 'ate healthy food'. 'Fruit and food' is redundant; 'fruits and other food' is clearer.

× My favorite one of snacks is sunflower seeds.

✓ My favorite snack is sunflower seeds.

'One of snacks' is incorrect; it should be 'snack' singular because 'favorite' refers to one item. 'Sunflower seeds' is plural and correct.

× It is affordable and quiet convenient for me, especially while watching a movies or drama.

✓ It is affordable and quite convenient for me, especially while watching movies or dramas.

'Quiet' is incorrect; it should be 'quite' to mean 'very'. 'A movies' is incorrect; 'movies' is plural and does not need 'a'. 'Drama' should be plural 'dramas' to match 'movies' or singular without 'a'.

× I can't resist the perfect moment while I'm eating.

✓ I can't resist enjoying the perfect moment while I'm eating.

The original sentence is understandable but awkward. Adding 'enjoying' clarifies the meaning and improves sentence structure.