Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to reduce filler words like 'uh' and 'umm' to make your speech more fluent and natural. Also, avoid repeating the same idea twice; instead, express it clearly once. For example, you can say, "I usually eat snacks in the afternoon to recharge my energy and continue with my day."

예시: I usually eat snacks in the afternoon to recharge my energy and continue with my day.

제안: Work on using plural forms correctly (e.g., 'healthy snacks') and avoid filler words. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'because' or 'and'. For example, "Yes, healthy snacks like nuts and fruits are beneficial for our body because they help us feel refreshed and energetic."

예시: Yes, healthy snacks like nuts and fruits are beneficial for our body because they help us feel refreshed and energetic.

제안: Improve sentence structure by adding commas and conjunctions for clarity. Also, use more precise vocabulary, such as 'choose' instead of 'use' for snacks. For example, "When I was young, I often ate ice cream, chocolate bars, and candies as snacks, and I didn't worry about my health. However, these days, I try to choose healthy snacks to maintain a balanced diet."

예시: When I was young, I often ate ice cream, chocolate bars, and candies as snacks, and I didn't worry about my health. However, these days, I try to choose healthy snacks to maintain a balanced diet.

제안: Avoid filler words and improve sentence flow by using linking words like 'and' or 'but'. Also, use plural forms correctly and vary your vocabulary. For example, "I like to eat ice cream, candies, and chocolate bars because they are delicious and sweet. However, due to my age, I should choose healthier snacks."

예시: I like to eat ice cream, candies, and chocolate bars because they are delicious and sweet. However, due to my age, I should choose healthier snacks.

× Yes, healthy snack like nuts, fruit uh are not only beneficial for our body umm but also umm, makes us uh, refreshed and energetic.

✓ Yes, healthy snacks like nuts and fruit are not only beneficial for our body but also make us feel refreshed and energetic.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' to agree with the plural nouns 'nuts' and 'fruit'. Also, 'makes' should be 'make' to agree with the plural subject 'snacks'. Additionally, 'make us refreshed' is better expressed as 'make us feel refreshed' for natural English usage.

× When I was young I ate ice cream a chocolate bars and candies as a snack and actually I didn't worry about my health.

✓ When I was young, I ate ice cream, chocolate bars, and candies as snacks, and actually I didn't worry about my health.

The phrase 'a chocolate bars' is incorrect because 'a' is singular and 'bars' is plural. It should be 'chocolate bars'. Also, 'as a snack' should be plural 'as snacks' to match the multiple items listed. Commas are added for clarity.

× Actually I like to uh, eat ice cream candies, umm, chocolate bar because they are so delicious, sweet and yummy.

✓ Actually, I like to eat ice cream, candies, and chocolate bars because they are so delicious, sweet, and yummy.

The phrase 'chocolate bar' should be plural 'chocolate bars' to agree with 'candies' and the plural context. Commas are added for clarity and natural flow.