Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ не совсем ясен и содержит много пауз и повторов. Следует использовать более чёткие и логичные предложения, избегать лишних слов и стараться структурировать ответ с использованием связующих слов.

예시: I usually eat snacks in the afternoon, especially chocolates like Snickers and Bounty. When I go to the store, I often buy sweets because they improve my mood and give me energy.

제안: Ответ содержит грамматические ошибки и нечеткие выражения. Нужно использовать правильные конструкции и более точные формулировки, а также связующие слова для логичности.

예시: I think eating snacks is not very healthy because many doctors say that chocolates contain a lot of sugar. However, I try to eat them in moderation to avoid negative effects on my health.

제안: Ответ слишком длинный и содержит ошибки. Следует использовать более простые и правильные предложения, а также связующие слова для улучшения связности.

예시: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. My dad used to buy me chocolates every day, and I liked going to the store to buy sweets. Like many children, I didn't think much about health at that time.

제안: Ответ содержит много пауз и повторов, а также нечеткие выражения. Следует использовать более точные слова и структурировать ответ, избегая лишних слов.

예시: I like eating chocolates such as Snickers and Kinder. Kinder is my favorite because it is very sweet and delicious. I also enjoy other sweets that I had during my childhood.

× I often eat snacks, uh, especially sneakers and bounty.

✓ I often eat snacks, uh, especially Snickers and Bounty.

The words 'sneakers' and 'bounty' are brand names and should be capitalized. Also, 'sneakers' is a brand name 'Snickers', which is singular as a brand but plural in form. Here, it refers to the chocolate bar, so it should be 'Snickers' as a proper noun.

× I really like them both and I when I'm going, I go to the universe, I often buy a chocolate or sweets, uh, sweets.

✓ I really like them both, and when I go to the supermarket, I often buy chocolate or sweets.

The sentence is confusing and contains unclear phrases like 'when I'm going, I go to the universe'. It should be restructured for clarity and correct word choice. 'Universe' is incorrect here; likely 'supermarket' or 'store' is intended.

× So, uh, it's makes my mood very fun and I.

✓ So, uh, it makes my mood very good.

The phrase 'it's makes' is incorrect; it should be 'it makes'. Also, 'very fun' is not appropriate to describe mood; 'very good' or 'happy' is better. The sentence is incomplete and should be finished properly.

× Maybe it's not healthy because many doctors in the Instagram says the snacks or chocolate have a big sugars.

✓ Maybe it's not healthy because many doctors on Instagram say that snacks or chocolate have a lot of sugar.

'In the Instagram' is incorrect preposition; 'on Instagram' is correct. 'Says' should be 'say' to agree with plural subject 'doctors'. 'A big sugars' is incorrect; 'a lot of sugar' is the correct quantifier and noun form.

× It's can like, umm, suffer from my mind, like destroy my mind, but I think not much, not much.

✓ It can, like, affect my mind, like destroy it, but I don't think much.

'It's can' is incorrect; modal verb 'can' should be used alone. 'Suffer from my mind' is incorrect expression; 'affect my mind' is better. The sentence is fragmented and needs restructuring.

× Honestly I yes I did and when I was child I everyday like my dad buying me a chocolate.

✓ Honestly, yes, I did, and when I was a child, my dad bought me chocolate every day.

'When I was child' needs article 'a'. 'I everyday like my dad buying me a chocolate' is incorrect; correct past tense and word order is 'my dad bought me chocolate every day'.

× I always like I go to the magazine I want to buy a snack or Barney, you know like children very much like sweets and they are not thinking about their health so I do it.

✓ I always liked to go to the magazine to buy a snack or Bounty. You know, children really like sweets and they don't think about their health, so I did it too.

'Magazine' is incorrect; likely 'magazine' is a mistranslation of 'magasin' (French for store). It should be 'store' or 'shop'. 'Barney' should be 'Bounty'. The sentence is run-on and needs to be split and corrected for tense and clarity.

× I really like chocolate, uh, like sneakers, uh, I like sweets, uh, and I don't know, like kinder.

✓ I really like chocolate, uh, like Snickers, uh, I like sweets, uh, and I don't know, like Kinder.

Brand names 'Snickers' and 'Kinder' should be capitalized. 'Sneakers' is incorrect spelling for 'Snickers'.

× I have a many options in kindergarten.

✓ I have many options in the store.

'A many' is incorrect; 'many' does not need 'a'. Also, 'kindergarten' is a place for young children, not a store. Likely the intended word is 'store' or 'shop'.

× So, umm, kinder, uh, is that's very sweet and very cool.

✓ So, umm, Kinder is very sweet and very good.

The phrase 'is that's' is incorrect and redundant. 'Cool' is informal and less appropriate here; 'good' or 'nice' is better. The sentence should be simplified for clarity.