Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly state the usual time, then add one specific reason or example. Remove filler words (uh) and avoid repetition (e.g., "enjoy" and "try to"). Use one linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: I usually have snacks in the evening after work because I find they help me relax. For example, I often have a small bowl of fruit or yogurt while watching TV to recharge before dinner.

제안: Avoid vague claims and contradictory or unclear phrasing. State a clear opinion and qualify it (sometimes/depends on type of snack). Use linking words like 'however' or 'if' and provide a specific reason and an example of healthy vs unhealthy snacks.

예시: I think snacks can be healthy if chosen carefully. For instance, a handful of nuts or a piece of fruit provides steady energy and nutrients, whereas sugary crisps may give a quick burst of energy but lead to a crash later.

제안: Answer directly about childhood frequency, avoid confusing time references (a decade ago is odd for 'young'). Use clear contrast between past and present with linking words (e.g., 'but'/'however') and give a specific example of a childhood snack or routine.

예시: Yes, I used to eat snacks often when I was a child, usually after school. For example, my mother would give me biscuits and milk every afternoon, but now I snack less because my schedule is busier.

제안: Be specific and group similar items; avoid listing too many unrelated foods (pizza and pasta are meals rather than snacks). Use a topic sentence and then give two or three typical snack examples with brief reasons.

예시: I prefer light, portable snacks such as roasted peanuts, yogurt, and dark chocolate because they are easy to eat on the go and fairly nutritious. Occasionally I also have small slices of pizza as a treat.

× Quite frequently, but mostly I enjoy eating snacks in the evening time.

✓ I quite frequently eat snacks, but mostly I enjoy them in the evening.

The original sentence has awkward word order and redundant phrase 'evening time.' Move 'quite frequently' before the verb for natural adverb placement and replace 'in the evening time' with 'in the evening.' This improves fluency and reduces redundancy.

× Uh, when I get free time I try to eat something to refresh myself.

✓ When I get free time, I try to eat something to refresh myself.

Remove filler 'Uh' and add a comma after the subordinate clause for correct sentence structure and punctuation. The verb and meaning are fine; this change improves clarity and formality.

× Definitely, I think it is very healthy to eat snacks because it gives me a lot of energy to pay attention on our work life as well as it also give energy to stay healthy and fit.

✓ Definitely. I think it is healthy to eat snacks because they give me energy to concentrate on my work and help me stay healthy and fit.

Multiple issues: 'pay attention on' is incorrect — use 'concentrate on' or 'pay attention to.' 'Our work life' should be 'my work' to match the speaker. Subject-verb agreement: 'it gives' and 'it also give' are incorrect for plural 'snacks' — use 'they give.' Also remove redundancy 'very' and 'also.' Splitting into two sentences improves clarity.

× That is why I think this type of assumption.

✓ That is why I think this assumption is reasonable.

The original phrase 'this type of assumption' is awkward. Rephrase to 'this assumption is reasonable' for clearer meaning and correct adjective-noun relationship.

× As far as I remember, I probably started, uh, eating snacks at a very young age, which I think would be nearly a decade ago.

✓ As far as I remember, I probably started eating snacks at a very young age, which was nearly a decade ago.

Remove filler 'uh' and use past tense 'was' to refer to a definite time in the past. 'Would be nearly a decade ago' is incorrect modal use; use 'was nearly a decade ago.'

× At present, I stay quite busy with my hectic schedule, therefore I don't have the much to eat snacks frequently.

✓ At present, I am quite busy with my hectic schedule, so I don't have much time to eat snacks frequently.

Use 'am' rather than 'stay' for natural present-state expression. Remove 'the' before 'much' and add 'time' after it. Replace 'therefore' with 'so' for smoother spoken English and fix word order.

× I enjoy eating several types of snacks including pizza, pasta as well as peanut and also chocolate and so many others.

✓ I enjoy eating several types of snacks, including pizza, pasta, peanuts, chocolate, and many others.

Use plural 'peanuts' for the snack and include commas for list clarity. Remove redundant 'also' and 'so' and replace 'so many others' with 'many others.' Ensure consistent plural forms for items in a list.