Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct tense and articles. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g., "in the afternoon" repeated) and grammatical errors ("have to work now" is confusing).

예시: I usually have a small snack in the afternoon. For example, when I'm working around 3–4 pm I often feel hungry, so I grab a piece of fruit or a yogurt to keep my energy up.

제안: Make the answer more natural and precise. Use a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Avoid vague phrases like "reduce the burden of my body."

예시: Yes, I think snacking can be healthy if you choose the right foods. For instance, I prefer fruits or yogurt instead of chips because they provide nutrients and prevent overeating at dinner.

제안: Use consistent past tense and be concise. Begin with a direct statement, then give a specific reason with a linking word. Avoid mixing tenses ("get" vs "got").

예시: Yes, I often snacked after school when I was a child. For example, I usually came home around 4 pm and felt very hungry, so my parents prepared sandwiches or fruit until dinner.

제안: Be grammatically accurate and avoid wordiness. Start with a topic sentence, then give a specific comparison and a concise reason. Fix awkward phrases like "keep consuming healthy foods would make my mood happier and more."

예시: I used to enjoy chips, but now I prefer healthier snacks such as fruit and yogurt. For example, eating berries or a Greek yogurt makes me feel more energetic and improves my mood.

× I usually eat snacks in the afternoon. I have to work now and when I was working in the afternoon I often feel hungry but I wouldn't want to eat a lot of things, so I would choose to eat snack at that time.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the afternoon. I am working now, and when I work in the afternoon I often feel hungry, but I do not want to eat a lot, so I choose to eat a snack at that time.

Mixed and incorrect tense forms are used. 'I have to work now' is acceptable but to match habitual situation use present simple: 'when I work in the afternoon'. 'I often feel' should be present simple to show habitual action. 'I wouldn't want' is conditional and contradicts the habitual statement; use 'I do not want'. Use article 'a' with singular countable 'snack'. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense for habitual actions and use appropriate articles and simple negatives.

× I think eating snacks is healthy for me because I won't eat junk foods and I will choose to eat the things that are healthier like yogurts or fruits. It would reduce the burden of my body.

✓ I think eating snacks can be healthy for me because I do not eat junk food and I choose healthier things like yogurt or fruit. It reduces the burden on my body.

Incorrect modal verbs create wrong meaning: 'won't eat' and 'will choose' sound like future refusal rather than habitual behavior; use present simple 'do not eat' and 'choose'. Use 'can be' to soften claim about health. 'Junk foods' is uncountable here: use 'junk food'. 'Yogurts' and 'fruits' usually uncountable/collective: use 'yogurt' and 'fruit'. 'Would reduce' is conditional; use present 'reduces' for general effect. Use preposition 'on' in 'burden on my body'. Suggestion: use present simple for habits, use correct countability, and choose appropriate modals.

× Yes, I ate snacks when I was young and I always ate a lot because when I get home after school I would always feel hungry and it was usually 4:00 PM. It's still a long time till the dinner so my parents will prepare snacks for me.

✓ Yes, I ate snacks when I was young and I always ate a lot because when I got home after school I would always feel hungry and it was usually 4:00 PM. It was still a long time until dinner, so my parents prepared snacks for me.

Tense inconsistency: descriptions of past habits should use past tense. 'When I get home' should be 'when I got home'. 'It's still a long time till the dinner' mixes present with past and includes incorrect article: use 'It was still a long time until dinner'. 'My parents will prepare' wrongly uses future; use past 'prepared' to describe past routine. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout when talking about past routines and avoid unnecessary articles ('the dinner' -> 'dinner').

× I like to eat chips before but now I think they are too unhealthy so I would choose to eat fruits or yogurt now because they are more healthy and I think they keep consuming healthy foods would make my mood happier and more.

✓ I used to like eating chips, but now I think they are too unhealthy, so I choose to eat fruit or yogurt instead because they are healthier. I think continuing to eat healthy foods makes me happier.

Several tense and form issues: 'like to eat chips before' should be 'used to like eating chips' to show past habit. 'I would choose' is conditional; use present 'I choose' for current habit. 'Fruits' vs 'fruit' countability: use 'fruit' or 'fruits' depending, but 'fruit' is natural. 'More healthy' is comparative — use 'healthier'. 'I think they keep consuming healthy foods would make my mood happier and more' is ungrammatical: use 'continuing to eat healthy foods makes me happier' (gerund 'continuing' + present simple). Suggestion: use 'used to' for past habits, present simple for current habits, correct comparative forms, and use gerunds appropriately.